February 19, 2014

Who is Al?

Food brings people together.  Well, I like to have food when people get together.  I like to get together and eat food. Food is good for get-togethers.  There is a whole set of opinions on breaking bread and socializing and at the end of the day, I find myself talking about food more often than not.  One my friends from the gym sent me a text message to inform me a new food store in town sells Taylor Ham by the slice.  Her husband thought it was weird that she would feel compelled to share that with me.  Little did he know that I was totally enthused that said store sells bacon by the slice (because I only ever need a slice or two) and it is an even bigger bonus to buy Taylor Ham by the slice rather in mass quantity.  Food brings my friends together and brings my family together.  My parents raised a bunch of foodies.  The kind of foodies that will try most things (I won’t eat nervous tissue or weird meats) and like to perfect the things they make.  The kind of foodies that share pictures of what they eat and send food as gifts because ‘you have to try the bacon of the month club.’  For what purpose does one share pictures of food?  I have no idea.  My brother emailed me about Al Pastor tonight and Al Gringo.  Neither are a man named AL but types of tacos.  Who doesn’t like a good taco?  Tacos must bring people together.  I love tacos.  My favorite place to buy a taco is in Irvine, CA – Baja Fish Tacos.  I used to travel there often for work and would stop at the taco stand and get tacos to take to the airport.  Chicken so as to not stink up a public space and once in awhile TSA would abscond with my guacamole (because it might be explosive?). There were often envious passengers sitting around me as I dined on my tacos and they ate blue potato chips. Plan your food, I say.   I am sure most people like tacos and if not, well, I am sorry.   Read here for some Al Pastor or Al Gringo or just Gringo.

Duckfatfries.com 

Thank you for reading this blog (both blogs, actually).

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February 18, 2014

Never Saw That Coming

With change comes new beginnings.  This is hardly a newsflash to the average person, it just happens to be what has been on my mind. I spent most of January thinking about change and February made me think of new beginnings.  Change always makes me feel weird and I have been that way for as long as I can remember.  A friend recently compared me to a tree.  Trees are stable, strong and grow where they have roots.  Transplant a tree and it may fail to flourish.  I guess I have always felt change was a source of uneasiness and instability which certainly highlights my discomfort with the unknown.  When I think of major changes in my life and it took time to adapt to any particular event. I never used to view changes in my life as new beginnings, instead would dwell on what I was leaving behind and the what ifs and the unknowns.  I never liked the feeling of doing something before I was ready; though sometimes it is probably better to be pushed into the proverbial ocean even if you are unsure what you are swimming towards.

My family moved when I was 10 years old and I felt uprooted (anyone moving to New Jersey for the first time may agree!).  I knew nothing about my new school and knew no one in my class.  It was a sea of the unknown for me.  I had a difficult time adjusting and spent my 5th grade year as the awkward, taller than everyone, new girl with braces.  Thank goodness I did not get glasses till 5 years later!  It never crossed my mind that I had a new beginning in front of me as I just really wanted to return to my old school and all the friends I left there.  I wonder what it would have been like if  I had felt a new school and a new town were an opportunity instead of something foreign, uncomfortable, and awkward?  It was hard to see change as a positive thing at a young age while I was walking around with a neon sign over my head that said “NEW KID. POKE FUN HERE.”  Going all psychotherapy on myself, that experience could be one of the reasons I am very introverted in new situations.  I used to think people just didn’t like me when they met me and eventually learned that was not really the case. As an adult, I went into sales to force myself to be an extrovert in my day job which helped me learn new ways to address new situations.  When you work in sales, you have no choice but to be outgoing. It can be a struggle some days and other days I still surprise myself.  I am definitely still the socially awkward 10 year old underneath it all regardless of my age and experience.

I recently got reorg’d (questionable spelling) at work.  I was feeling weird about the change because it was unexpected and rather abrupt.  I was used to my soon-to-be old boss’ style and had adapted accordingly and now I had to start all over with a new boss.  I really felt odd for a couple days after because it was a CHANGE and there were many unknowns at play.  A new year at work always means new budget, new expectations, new business and now a new, green boss? I gave it thought and decided to take this change as a learning opportunity in spite of all the unknowns.  My new boss is in a big learning phase and I realized there are ways I can help him. I know my book of business like the back of my hand and have perspective that I can bring to the table for him.  I decided I would stop feeling weird and work to help my boss speed up his learning curve. I can be proactive and embrace the change rather than just watching it unfold.  Why not work collaboratively to make our new team look good in front of senior management?  I have no idea what any of it will mean necessarily but decided it would work better for me versus getting my nose out of joint about a curve ball.  It’s a new beginning for me, new exposure and using the change to my advantage will probably serve me well down the road.  Go with the flow and figure out it on the way and worry about the rest later.

As I think about it, to get to a new beginning, there are changes that may first require patience and trust in the unknown before an outcome or new opportunity presents itself. There are times when it is just necessary to trust in what seems unclear. Why is this happening? Why is nothing happening?  What is going to happen?  What am I missing?  The unknowns have been hard for me historically as I like to fix things and also understand everything all the time.  I used to open the Christmas gifts under my parents bed when I was a kid (use knife to slit the scotch tape, re-tape gift).  I just liked to know what was coming my way.  

I have had many experiences in my life when patience was required (unbeknownst to me until I saw an outcome good or bad) and I ended up worried, anxious, or over thinking all while trying to figure out things that probably hung in the realm of unknown for a reason.  I had to learn I cannot know everything all the time and sometimes it is better to know nothing until the right time.  I can look at situations in my life where putting my faith in an outcome would have served me better.  There are times when it is just better to observe and gather information and do nothing.  Telling myself to worry later is much more helpful than trying to find missing pieces of a puzzle.  Worry later means (to me), the answer will come at a different time so just be patient. Just the other day, while talking to a friend, I heard myself saying, “I am just going to put my faith in the fact that this will work itself out.” Did I really say that? Surprised myself. It is far easier to believe what needs to happen will happen and worry about details later. Timing is a variable, people and their life lessons are a variable, location is a variable, etc. When things change, all of the variables probably need to be aligned (whether good or bad) and sometimes it is just better to let things fall into place rather than trying to pull the curtain off the unknown before the time is right. When you bake a cake, you cannot rush the baking process.  If you turn up the heat to try to make your cake bake faster, it may burn.  Put it in the microwave and it will blow up. If you take it out of the oven before it is done, you will likely end up with a flop.  Put your cake in the oven according to baking instructions and you will end up with what you hoped for at the start.

When I begin writing, the conclusion of my post is usually an unknown  (irony).  As with 2014, I have no idea how the year will end up.  I really felt like January was a swirling vortex of change for me and though things are still changing, I have seen many new things start to rise to the surface with the onset of February.  Whatever is going to change will and it all may be outside that which I can control.  I would even say how I respond to things is an unknown because who can predict what will happen tomorrow or next week. And that works for me.  It is actually really fascinating to think about what new things may happen and what new opportunities will pop up.  It is always pretty cool to look back on something and say, “Well I never saw that coming” instead of “I was afraid that was going to happen.”

Thank you for reading this blog (apologies for any typos)!

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February 5, 2014

Make It YOUR Birthday

The little things in life go a long way.  It really is true.  I usually try to take the day off on my birthday and this year I had to work.  Client meetings from 8:30am-4:30pm.  I was grumbling to myself about it all day yesterday as I really prefer to do what I want to do on my birthday.  However, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.  I woke up this morning less grumbly and decided I better find a way to take birthday on the road.  I did not plan ahead so did not have a special lunch to make or a cupcake to take to work so needed a plan B. I never open birthday cards or gifts before my birthday, so I gathered up the cards I received in the mail and put them in my laptop bag.  I figured I would bring my birthday to work even if I had to attend client meetings all day.

It was actually quite an enjoyable treat to read birthday cards between meetings throughout the day!  My friend from California sent me a card with a letter enclosed which was a nice surprise (handwriting – how novel!).  My uncle sent me a very funny card.  My Mom sent me cards full of various commentary and doodles of things (as she usually does).  My friend from Chicago sent me her usual classy card with her kind words…and so on.  It is just really nice to be remembered and acknowledged on my birthday. I cannot lie!  It was a nice change to carry my birthday wishes in my bag. I came out of meeting and opened a card.  I was on a pretty uneventful conference call and opened another card. Rationed birthday cards go a long way.

I  heard from so many of my friends all throughout the day.  I think the birthday wish from Mumbai traveled the furthest (via text) and the message from my next door neighbor the shortest distance.  Wherever you are and whomever you hear from, birthdays are fun.  I find it funny when someone says, “Oh I do not care about my birthday.”  Or something along those lines.  I find that really hard to believe under normal circumstances.  Even the crabbiest person has to smile on their birthday!  It is totally awesome (yeah I said it like that) when someone you have not heard from in awhile or someone you hear from every day remembers your birthday.  A few of my friends sent me email messages instead of text or social media wishes so I just finished replying to those emails.  My brother tried to get my 19 month old nephew to say Happy Birthday Alexis.  I think he was confused as to how to make his face and mouth form those words!  Nephew videos are pretty awesome nonetheless.

I guess I really look at my birthday as a “I wonder what surprises will pop up today” kind of day. Whatever happens on my birthday or around my birthday makes me happy (except for back to back meetings all day long = less exciting). I am actually surprised on my birthday more often than not. Friends, flowers, cards, balloons, messages.  I went out for Greek food for dinner with one my friends who is half Greek.  We have been talking about going to an authentic Greek restaurant for awhile (usually while eating sushi). It was such a great meal, no idea why has it taken me so long to try authentic Greek food! Baffling and fabulous. I guess taking it all in is the important part of a birthday celebration.  If you can enjoy the moment and enjoy whatever comes your way, it will always be a great day.  A great birthday is a great start to a new year – it is just too bad it only happens once a year!

Thank you for reading this blog!

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January 31, 2014

Bungalow Blogspot

My friend is keeping a blog to track a big home renovation project. Admittedly I pressured her into it because it just seemed like a great way to keep her friends and family up to date! We have been friends since we met freshman year in college and I think as the years have passed we have developed a great friendship.  She is a very successful business woman who has an amazing eye for interior decorating.  I often tell her I cannot wait to see where her design career takes her.  I believe she will do something more than side projects – interior design consultant or contractor?  She has a passion that could really turn into something great, I believe.  She has a knack for color, fabric, and furniture coordination that I find to be enviable.  She has lived in many different places and one thing is for sure, she always finds just the right space to impart impeccable taste and creative ideas.  A few years ago, while she was preparing to move from New York City to London, she was creating her interior design plan.  She had a ziploc bag of fabric swatches which amazed me as this was all she needed to style her new flat.  She took the swatches everywhere in New York City as she shopped for all the furniture and accents for her London home.   She finds inspiration for design so easily.  I would need full on home decorating magazine.  I had the chance to visit her London flat and it was a fantastic.  She worked with white, shades of grey and shades of purple.  I posted a picture at the end of this post .  She recently set up some Pinterest boards with so many great ideas that I think I will fly her to New Jersey when the day comes that I buy a bigger home.  I can always use help with the color coordination and furniture ideas.  Anyway, here is a link to Kim’s blog to see what is happening today with her new home.  http://kalbungalow.blogspot.com/

Thank you for reading this blog and my friend’s blog!

 

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January 19, 2014

Clap Along

Now and then I come across a song that I have to listen to about 4,503 times  (or more) on repeat.  I have always been this way which may be why I can sing along to nearly all songs on my iPod/iPhone.  This week I discovered Happy by Pharrell Williams and have spent all weekend bopping around in my car (other drivers likely thought I was out of my mind – oh well).  What better thing to wish upon someone than happiness?  What could be better than walking in and out of each day feeling happy from head to toe?  What is negative about happiness (zilch)? If someone makes a choice in life, my thought is always, “I wish all happiness in the world for (insert name)”  or “I hope that brings much happiness to (insert name).”  Conversely, in some situations, asking, “are you happy?” can be a very revealing question.  I will throw it out in conversation when a friend, colleague or family member is conflicted or wavering about a matter, decision, person, etc.  If you are unable to say, “yes, I am happy” it may be time figure out what to change to amp up the level of happy.  What can you live with?  What can you live without?  What would make you happy?  What can you change?  Do you want to change?  Have you ever made a change thinking it would make you happy only to find you are still struggling to find what makes you happy?  Or perhaps you know what makes you happy and are avoiding it?

Here is the YouTube link to Happy by Pharrell and the 24 Hours of Happy website – you may want to dance around your house or in your cubicle or wherever you are right now.   Just a warning 🙂

Thank you for reading this blog!

 

 

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January 17, 2014

Just A Phase

I was talking to a colleague today about her hectic work schedule, her 5 kids, her lack of sleep and she said, “I just tell myself this is a phase of my life, like a season. I am going to enjoy it because the next phase will be very different.”  I told her when I need advice I will be calling her because I found her words to be very wise.  Every morning this week I have opened my eyes and the first thought has been, “Is this really my life?  Do I have to do this again today?”  Well as it happens, you find your answers in unexpected ways – in my case while talking to a colleague.  This is not my life, this is just a phase of my life albeit a consuming phase.  A time in which I am working crazy hours and feel like I am living and breathing work.  It is the phases of life that help build a fulfilling life.

I feel like in some ways I see changes in my life and in other ways I am just hovering in the same general vicinity.  I am trying to better manage my workload and my work schedule and I am finding that to be challenging.  That is kind of the same.  As I reflect on 2013 and think about the last few weeks, I am seeing more of the same at work in this new year. Hovering. We had a reorg and I have new boss.  It is really more of the same because nothing has really changed in my day to day. Change – sort of. I think I expected a reorg to bring a new and different angle but no matter how many reorgs come to my organization, we see more of the same. Ironically, I am really learning a lot through this hectic period at work.  And it is actually all okay, it just helps me understand why I wake up with the thoughts of, “This is my life?”  Other things around me are transforming, my friends for example.  Some of my friends have children and I hear from them less than in the past.  Unless they can get time free, away from family activities, time to visit can be difficult to schedule.  I am good with that because life evolves and it enjoyable to watch friends grow into motherhood.  I was talking to one of my friends today and we were discussing someone we know in common.  I said, “I just let people go at some point.  I get tired of people who take, take, take and bring emotional drama to the table and nothing else.  It is easier to just let those people go live in their drama.”  The person in question gloms on when she needs something or is having a teenage drama moment and is scarce until she needs something again. My friend agreed and said, “Wow that is a really good way to put it.”  My friendships are important to me and I am a very loyal person; however, sometimes it is just better to untie and set sail in another direction. Ironically, after that conversation, I ran into a new friend of mine in the grocery and was reminded there are always opportunities to make new friends.  Friendships change, people change, and new people come into your life to change things up.  New friends are a great change.

If life is about phases then I suppose we cannot always control when one phase ends and another begins.  If the phases help you build the life you want, there may be lessons to learn or experiences to go through before a phase can end.  You may have to wait for the right timing for the new phase to begin.  Further, if you try to force your way out of a phase, you may find yourself taking a wrong turn or you may find yourself hitting a wall.  One of my friends left my company a few years ago because he felt he could do better elsewhere.  3 years later, every time I hear from him, he wishes he had never left because leave may have been a change he should have waited to make versus jumping ship hastily.  As I think about phases, it is important to always take steps and go in new directions.  You may encounter new things instantly, you may have to demonstrate patience and hover for awhile.  I think of it like a garden and waiting for seedlings to sprout from the earth.  It never happens overnight.  It takes time and work to plant the seeds, nurture the seeds and patience to see the fruits of your labor.  I suppose it is entirely possible while hovering at a point in life, we are actually nurturing the seedlings.  It seems reasonable to expect everything will come to full bloom in the next phase.  There may also be instances when it is necessary to look back to see the meaning of each phase of your life…which reminds me of a quote (no idea who said it), “Sometimes you have to look back to see what lies ahead.”  As you live your life, there may be things that are hard to decipher or make sense of, but in time, when you look at where you are and where you have been, it all may make perfect sense, as clear as the bright blue sky.  

Thank you for reading this blog!

 

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January 8, 2014

Change Your Footwear

Change is afoot.  2014 feels like it is about change.  I am working on changing things around me that is for sure.  Simple things like finally painting my bedroom.  I have been procrastinating for 2 years and I finally picked a color and have my Dad as my co-painter to get the work done.  My Mom always says I get as far as the paint and no further.  I bought the paint and now I need to buy some furniture and other items.  If all goes well my room will have a makeover soon enough.  Things at work are changing as they always do this time of year; yet it feels different. I have an idea for a second blog that has yet to launch.  I have been displeased with the amount of effort I put into the design (with a designer) and less pleased with the overall results produced by the designer.  Lesson learned – every situation may require new perspective, different expertise.  A new designer is the avenue I am taking so have been researching other people out there.  I keep pushing myself to do things to create little changes.  Big changes are sometimes difficult to achieve in a short time.  Small changes are more readily tangible and can lead to the bigger changes.  I have been working on the way I think.  Letting go of some things, changing gears over here.  My brain is always churning and I find myself worrying for no other reason than my brain is working way overtime.  I am training my brain to do a 180. Stop, turn and go in the other direction.

After work I decided it would save time if I walked my dog in 7 degree weather in my suede booties rather than changing my shoes.  I figured I would be FINE since I was wearing Smartwool socks.  My socks may have been smart (love Smartwool) but that was the only smart thing.  I walked around the block – about 10 minutes outside – and I could feel numbness in my feet creeping up.  It started at the tip of my toes and by the time it reached the balls of my feet I dragged the dog inside and took off my boots.  I looked at my feet and my toes were freakishly white and without feeling.  I was sure my toes would fall off and I began to envision what it would be like without a big toe on my right foot.  My feet were freaky from the cold – if I were not grossed out by feet I MAY have taken a picture but I prefer feet covered up.  While half of my brain was coming up with toeless horror stories, the other half was trying to figure out how to fix my feet.  Instead of using Google, I got my hair dryer out (did you know in case of frostnip or superficial frostbite you should soak your feet in warm water? As later shared by someone who probably used Google when I shared my winter weather FAIL).  When the hair dryer failed to change the color of my toes, I just decided to put on heavy wool socks and my Uggs and hope for the best.  Meanwhile, the other half of my brain was preparing to go to the ER and figuring out if I could go to the ER without anyone in my family finding out I had tried to freeze my toes off my body.  Instead I went to my workout class, in Uggs, wool socks, sneakers in tow, and my closest thing to eskimo gear (no fur).  By then 45 minutes had passed and my toes were finally starting to look normal.  I decided perhaps horrific thoughts about my toes falling off were too extreme (pretty sure).  Though I tried to do a 180 degree change with my thoughts, though only half my brain was on board at that point. Hey change takes time!  However, the fact of the matter is, rather than going to worst case or most worrisome, it is most helpful to stop and switch directions and reign it all in.  Also when it is 7 degrees outside, it is far better to change one’s shoes.  I may be the only person who needed to learn that lesson today.  

Thank you for reading this blog!

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January 6, 2014

Wake Up And Change

Back to reality.  Ok well maybe not reality, maybe just a full 5 day work week.  I am trying to prevent my brain from remembering the regular chaos of my usual work day and instead focus on how nice the last few weeks have been.  My schedule has been so flexible and I have gotten so much done with all of my free time. Vacation and sleep are awesome.  I woke up every day with that thought – sleep is awesome. On a non-vacation day, I find myself moving at a zillion miles an hour while cramming more into my awake hours than I should while sacrificing sleep hours.  Between work and taking care of things non-work related in my life, if I slow down, I tend to THINK I am being lazy and/or unproductive.  When in reality, I usually need more rest than I allow myself – how silly is that?  My norm of 6-hours of sleep is really sub par.

As I sit here still in a mode of relaxation after two stress free weeks, I can see the forest from the trees.  I am hardly a lazy person yet I will push myself out of bed every day because I “have to get moving!” I have tried to get away from that for the last few weeks by staying in bed till 9:30am or 10:00am – something I have not done regularly since college. Usually I feel like I am going to miss out on the day or will never accomplish what I feel I need to do in the time I have.  However, today, I got out of bed at 9:30am and did everything I had planned to do and have plenty of free time tonight.  I follow @sandikrakowski on Twitter and Instagram and something she posted today (slightly edited by me) resonated with me:

“REST- it’s a spiritual principle that so many people forget or misunderstand…Rest is emotional, physical and spiritual. It’s when we purposefully lay aside things so we can be renewed, elevated and given strength…It is not on laziness. To push ourselves and feel false guilt when we should rest is an evil spirit…Rest will set you apart. It dissolves anxiety and all negativity trying to infect your life…Rest then solidifies the growth…take time to just BE.” Sandi Krakowski

I am very guilty of hardly spending time to just BE – partially because my brain never rests, partially because I put guilt on myself, partially due to the corporate culture I work in.  I definitely allow my frenetic work environment spill over into my free time and that is less than ideal for many reasons.  I know I am not a lazy person and yet I often resist the opportunity to rest, unless I am forced by illness or exhaustion.  There is always something that needs to be done.  Must plow through.  Must do as much as possible.  My work schedule is so rigid, people in my company are constantly working all hours of the night, and I definitely get caught up in a mentality that hardly promotes rest. I am sure many people are this way.  Many people get wound up in the rat race and get swept away by the lunacy that can be a corporate environment. That said, I do what I have to do because I love my paycheck.  Stress, exhaustion, pressure to an extreme hardly benefit the emotional, physical and spiritual self.  I do feel a moderate amount of stress and pressure drive the motivation for success; however, when you feel like a doormat at the end of every week, it is too much and something needs to change.  I think the biggest issue I have is setting boundaries.  My parents and my friends have been telling me for years I work too much and need to set boundaries with my job.  I finally agree.  I tend to think corporate culture today wrings the life out of its people for margins and investors. There are no boundaries – I have had conference calls as late as 11:30pm for the almighty dollar…which might make sense if I were earning millions of dollars…but nah.  Welcome to Capitalism?  Or is the corporate culture just outdated and very disjointed?

What to do with this?  Well I guess I will look at the year ahead and work to keep myself in check.  Know when to lose my Blackberry.  Know when to take a day off and learn to better prioritize my free time…or something.  I have to keep these thoughts top of mind as this needs to become part of my daily practice.  Some may say this is New Year’s resolution.  For me this is an unplanned realization as a result of stepping away from the day to day.  It is time to change things up, set boundaries and change my thought processes about the obligations I place upon myself.

Thank you for reading this blog!

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January 2, 2014

New Year, New Ways

Changing it up, moving things around and doing things your way.  I guess everyone sees January 1st as a chance to start fresh. I like the idea of standing on the starting line now and looking back in December to see how far I have come or what goals I have attained or what goals have fallen by the wayside.

I have been away from my blog for quite some time as my day job required all of my free time from Thanksgiving till Christmas. During that time I kept thinking, “Ugh when will I have time to write posts for my blog.”  However, I had to prioritize things since my income is what pays the bills for internet access!  I was working morning, noon and night with breaks for meals and the gym and that is about it.  It was slightly poetic because as I was winding up my workload for 2013 and getting ready to start my Christmas vacation, I was thinking about blog topics…and BOOM!  Hard drive crashed and was toast.  I am very fortunate to have brothers who are technically savvy so they dug me out of that technology inconvenience.  My younger brother found me a good deal on a hard drive and software and my older brother retrieved everything on my old hard drive and rebuilt my computer.  Team effort for sure.  My computer was all ready for me right before Christmas and since I was busy wrapping, grocery shopping, cooking and celebrating I decided to put off writing till after Christmas…or not.  I woke up early in the morning on Boxing Day with a stomach virus (my 4th stomach virus of 2013, it has to be a record).  I was buried in bed till 4pm the day after Christmas and was not back to myself for several days.  I just decided it was a sign that I needed to be offline for the duration of the holiday season.  I worked a bazillion hours in December and was running at full speed up through Christmas so it was just my time to slow down. Thus here I am.  

It is January 1st and I suspect my workload will be monumental as soon as everyone resurfaces from the holiday haze.  However, I have made a little promise to myself to get back to writing regularly.  I am hesitant to say ‘resolution’ as it is more of a get back in the saddle thing.  This is how I see starting the New Year versus the concept of setting New Year’s resolutions.  Resolve to do something?  Or just begin to do something different, in your own way.  You can look at it any way you wish.  I just know the start of new year makes me think about what I want to do in the next 12 months and even perhaps beyond 12 months.  Anything that happens is up to me whether it means changing my approach, changing my perspective or doing what suits me without being to rigid.  Someone I know always says, “No one ever says things are so amazing, I think I will change!”  I believe the impetus for change is something in your life that is less than optimal. It could be anything from the way your jeans fit to how you spend money to the color of the paint on your walls.  “This is not working for me” leads to “what and how can I change” (if not, you need to reassess, in my opinion).  Figure out what has been holding you back or what has been bothering you or the things you have wanted to do and think through how to make things happen – differently and  in a way that suits you.  It need not be a resolution but more of a goal.  For example, I would like to write at least once a week, it is my goal versus something I will resolve to do.  Resolution suggests obligation, goal suggests working towards a successful outcome.  If I can write twice or three times in a week that is a bonus.  If something happens and I am unable to write one week, perhaps I can recycle a previous post or just give myself a break.  It works best if I set myself up to succeed versus creating stringent guidelines and rules.  That is my way and what works for me.  Something else might work for you, though all I can say is set yourself up to succeed so you feel good about what you reflect on at the end of 2014.  Be forgiving if something falls by the wayside and if you have to change things up half way through the year, that is okay too!  Happy New Year to you and best wishes for a joyous and successful 2014.  Thank you for reading this blog!

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December 4, 2013

Ray of Happiness

“It is not happy people who are thankful, it is thankful people who are happy.”  I read this on Paul Coelho’s twitter feed on Thanksgiving Day.  It just resonated with me and stuck with me for a few days as it gave me food for thought.  How can anyone be happy without feeling thankful, without expression of gratitude?  I  had never really thought about it before and it is tough to be happy without being thankful. To be truly happy, one has to be able to appreciate what they have, big or small.  On any day of the week, even any hour of the day, we can all find something to be thankful for and in turn, anyone would be feel happy when saying, “I am thankful for (fill in the blank).”

I can understand there may be times when it is difficult to be thankful – especially when circumstance leaves us asking questions and wondering why.  Even in that type of situation, if it means grasping for the little things and straws, it might be possible to find things to drum up gratitude and subsequently a ray of happiness.  I give a pass to people in catastrophic situations because sometimes one needs to just be something other than thankful and happy to deal with matters at hand.  For the rest of us in uncomfortable situations, I rationalize it like this: even though this or that happened, I am really thankful for this thing and for that I am happy.  I have this habit of trying to find the positive in any situation – sometimes it is easy, sometimes it takes a little thought.  However, thinking about the positive AND what to be thankful for is a new and interesting way of looking at things.

This is kind of simple and cliche but I am going with it.  I am not a fan of turkey or Thanksgiving foods in general – scandalous, I know.  I never look forward to the actual meal (I do appreciate the appetizers, however).  I think most people anticipate Thanksgiving dinner with enthusiasm.  I can take it or leave it for various reasons.  That said, the meal itself is unimportant.  I am very fortunate to have a family that gets together and dines together and for little nephews to liven everything up. How can anyone not be thankful for family and 1 year old boys tearing up a party? I am thankful that my brother and sister in law host so I never have to roast a turkey or have 6-months worth of leftovers in my house (6-months may be an exaggeration but I swear a turkey can last till summer).  It makes me so happy to go home on Thanksgiving and to know the next time I see turkey it will be next Thanksgiving.  I am the baker for Thanksgiving so for that I am thankful as I enjoy baking and can spend days baking and never get bored..as I did for Thanksgiving this year. If someone else did the baking, Thanksgiving prep would not be the same for me.

If you go through the list of things for which you are thankful, you will find many sources of happiness. You may find yourself paying more attention to big things, small things, people, places, pets, opportunities when you really dig into it.  Gratitude and what makes people happy have been on my mind a lot lately for no specific reason I can pin point.  I just know it is important to be thankful, to feel gratitude and to be happy.  The Paul Coelho quote was one of those serendipitous things – I found exactly what I was looking for – a short and sweet explanation of the cause and effect of thankful and happy.

Thank you for reading this blog!

Filed Under: blog, experience, gratitude, Life Lessons, perspective Tagged With: , , , , , , Leave a Comment
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