June 29, 2013

Brain Matters

What do you do to totally shift gears?  Everyone has something they enjoy doing outside the daily or regular routine.  It may be something forgotten or left behind from years ago. How many times have you given thought to things you once enjoyed and would like to pick up again? I tend to be heavily left brained (logical, analytical) and as a result hardly ever give my brain a rest.  I have spent many years ignoring the right brained me thus ignoring my creative, intuitive side. My right brain ruled when I was much younger and at some point my analytical (or pragmatic) side took over.  It is effortless to lean on my creative, intuitive side yet it seems impractical in my daily life and at work.

When I meet people I always wonder what they enjoy doing that is unrelated to work, finances, and the responsibilities of daily life. I believe everyone has a creative side and it is either pushed aside by everything else in life; or it is alive and well.  If pushed aside, your creative side can be resurrected.  It is just a matter of recognizing what gives you relief from the things that tax your brain or are a source of stress.  I find cooking and baking to be therapeutic.  I forget everything else on my mind when I am focused on something I am making in the kitchen. There was a point in time when my current job was numbing my brain.  I felt like I needed to do something in my spare time that was completely different. I enjoy foreign languages and pick them up much faster than, say, a spreadsheet full of numbers and formulas. I started taking Spanish classes for fun which turned out to be a great way to shift gears after work. It is was almost a relief to open a Spanish workbook to learn to conjugate verbs after a day pouring over pricing and budget numbers.  I also enjoy painting with watercolors.  A friend of mine knew I was keeping a somewhat artistic side under wraps and encouraged me to paint around this time last summer. I had not touched a paintbrush in many years; but when I sat down with new brushes and my block of paper, it felt really good. Though I have nothing on Matisse, Klimt or Van Gogh, I do what comes naturally to me.  I put my paints and brushes away months ago and it is about time to take them out again.

Perhaps it is a balancing act.  How do we balance what comes naturally with what requires more effort and persistence?  How do we give ourselves a break?  On some level it is an art form, I suppose, in staying focused on what needs to get done and what you enjoy.  I work with someone in my sales group who is very buttoned up and very data inclined; yet on the weekends sings in a heavy metal cover band.  I would have never guessed this person is musically inclined, much less covering Metallica’s greatest hits. As I think about it, it is probably better for one’s health and well being to unleash that creative side to really exercise the brain. It is really a great way to detach from the day to day. On the flip side, maybe a professional artist needs a few hours a day of crunching numbers?  In my mind, it would be ideal to leverage both the left and the right brain at work or in life in general.  It seems healthy – like a good workout at the gym.  Tap into the analytical side and the intuitive or creative side and see what happens instead of overusing one or stifling the other.  

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June 25, 2013

What’s the Plan?

poHave you ever been in or near your kitchen and suddenly you become acutely aware of your refrigerator humming in the background? It is the kind of thing that is always there but unless you are tuned in it goes unnoticed?  This is how my brain has been operating as relates to the ever popular question of ‘What do I want to do with my life’ – specifically around work. I have had an idea buzzing in back of my head for quite some time.  It is always there and I think about it a few times per day. It fades and it resurfaces based on things I read or something I hear….or during a conference call when I wonder if anyone actually cares about what is being discussed.

The mind works in funny ways.  When I think about what I can do or where I see myself going, I come to a point of feeling unsure or uncertain about the steps I need to take or what I need to lay out for myself.  I suppose I know what I need (a plan); yet I have trouble putting one together for myself.  I feel a traditional or formal business plan would not suit me.  I need something unique and always feel like there is something that I have yet to nail down for myself. I may also be over-thinking.  The irony of this is the time I have spent time working with other people on their new business ideas or other types of ideas. It is something I enjoy doing in my spare time.  In the end, the feedback is always, ‘You should do this as a business.’

Why is it so hard to do something for myself when helping someone else comes naturally?  Once someone shares an idea with me, it is like a switch goes off and ideas or next steps or questions come to mind.  I can envision and layout what is needed to move certain elements forward.  It is more of an intuitive thing I suppose.  I just intuitively know what is needed depending on the situation or the need.  If I believe in the person, their motivation and what they are trying to accomplish, information just comes to me.  With that said, when a person carries a passion for what they do or for what they want to do, it is obvious and it is rewarding to see someone succeed or make progress.

When you are on your own or working with an idea, sometimes figuring out a plan can be challenging. What steps to take, what to do, oh and have I lost my mind?  Self doubt is so typical and so human.  It is funny when a friend encourages me or acknowledges my potential.  It is hard to dispute the feedback of someone who knows me and what I can do.  I met someone recently who said, “This is what I see you doing.  What is your plan for this and that and the other thing.”   Waving a magic wand seems a bit outlandish.  I probably have to figure out how to get out of my own way and start to really work it out.  

 

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June 14, 2013

Batteries Not Included

Since the middle of March I have been tearing around like the Tasmanian Devil trying to keep up with everything I need to do in my personal life and in my day job. I do have the aptitude to take on ridiculous amounts of work and stress which is to my benefit and my detriment. I am finding I am starting to fall behind on some things and generally feel I have run an ultra-marathon by the end of the week.  I feel like one of those plate spinners – spinning many plates on sticks trying to prevent any from falling to the ground. (Just go to Google Images and type in plate spinners and you will see what I mean).  A cloning machine would be quite useful as two more of me is exactly what I need at this juncture.  The perfectionist side of me used to try to stay on top of everything and now I am letting things slide. I usually test my limits to see how far I can push myself and am now learning I have to respect my limits.

I suppose I have been learning about my limits quite a bit over the last year or so.  Realizing how much I can tolerate and often find myself asking, “Why do I put up with this?”  This has been happening across the board in my personal life, with my interpersonal relationship and with my job.   There have been times when I have been forced to face that fact that I am taking on too much – as demonstrated recently when I fell asleep behind the wheel of my car driving home from work.  I woke up after having rear ended a tractor trailer.  The truck was fine, my car not so much.  An alarm clock may have been better been a better wake up call.  My Mother told me I am not getting any younger and keeping up my pace and not taking care of myself is my issue.  One of my clients accused me of being overworked (ok maybe it is true) and ordered me to keep lollipops and chewing gum in the car if case I feel drowsy. She also advised me to stop working during my personal time and to start traveling on company time.  My brother mandated I go back to drinking coffee.  My Dad told me only old people fall asleep behind wheel and numerous other people have said I may want to take better care of myself.  

It takes much effort to do the things I enjoy when I feel like I am running ragged.  Need to go to this meeting, have to catch a flight, need to catch up on 8 hours of email in 2 hours. I find myself figuring out my day based on the number of hours I have available. How much can I cram in?  Over the weekend, I decided to skip running errands because it was just too much time driving given I spend so much time in the car during the week.  I also skipped a party because the thought of mingling required too much energy.  I used to think if I did things to boost my energy, I would be able to keep up my Tasmanian Devil pace.  I work out, I try to sleep more when I can, I eat healthy. I even tried yoga (which I enjoy).  An attempt to drink one of those green energy juice drinks (made with kale, celery, apples, lemon, and I forget what else) was a major fail because liquid green grass flavored drinks are hardly appetizing.  I am likely doing myself a disservice trying to boost my energy when I feel my internal battery is already on low.  Either I need new batteries or I will have to shift things around and change my ways or some dynamic in my life.  Less pressure, less travel time and more peace and quiet are probably good places to start.

 

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May 8, 2013

A Little Serving of Perspective

What I find most interesting about connecting with someone new, is what they bring to the table.  I believe people come into our lives for a reason.  Sometimes they stay, sometimes they go. As I reflect on different experiences, I can identify people who have had the most impact on me, good or bad.  I tend to observe and listen because it is easy to understand a person’s strengths, fears, weaknesses, interests, values in just a brief conversation.  The words a person speaks and the energy they give off can be very telling and informative.  I also find one’s eyes speak volumes – look into someone’s eyes when speaking and you will be surprised what you learn.  It can help you get to know someone even if it means run for the hills!  I actually find it interesting when someone says, “How did you know that about me?”

The thing driving my thoughts are the words shared with me last night (and I paraphrase), “Impulsive is a good thing.  Life is too short.”  The person who said this to me has a fascinating joie de vivre and approach to life that shows experience, charisma and knowledge. I have been observing and learning. I find myself quite curious given people around you are supposed to be your mirrors.  I am interested to see what else I will learn and what new things I will see in myself and those around me.

I have had “life is too short” on my mind all day today. It was bubbling on the back burner of my brain along the lines of, “If I got hit by a bus today, the best thing that happened was the lunch I made.”  Ok, that is an extreme exaggeration but I had a serving of perspective today.  Life is too short makes me think of something I wrote previously about taking a leap of faith. It is more likely to go well than not. (The person who said life is too short gives very little thought to a leap of faith, it is just second nature…because life is too short).  This also makes me think of people with whom I no longer have contact.  When someone in your life makes you feel like you are constantly pushing a ton of bricks uphill in a wheelbarrow, it is refreshing to leave the person and the wheelbarrow at the bottom of the hill.  What is the point of doing something that is too much effort and involves minimal reward, happiness, fun? How is that a good use of time or energy?  I try to show my appreciation for others and enjoy myself wherever I am or whatever I am doing..within reason!  Sometimes I have to check myself and shift my thoughts.

I feel like I am bouncing around and am unsure how to wrap us this post.  I will just do it abruptly.  Think about what you are doing today.  Is there something you would look back on (if you were hypothetically hit by a bus), and say, “Life was short, why did I do it that way or why did I say that way or why did I do or say nothing at all?”  A simple mindset change can set a new course or open up new opportunity.  

 

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May 4, 2013

When Something Flies Out of Left Field…

Have you ever had one of those experiences that makes you think, “if someone told me last week, this would have happened today, I never would have believed it!”  The last 5 days have been that way for me and it makes me believe in the adage “things happen for a reason”.  When I told one of my closest friends about a series of events this week, she said, “This is a hilarious yet very good lesson for you.  I look forward to how this all unfolds.”

I used to try to find answers for the things that seem out of left field and I am learning to stop asking questions.  There are times when it is better to let things happen and be aware of yourself instead of trying to figure out the reason an event has transpired. This was an out of left field kind of week as I crossed paths with someone I only knew of about 10 years ago.  When we crossed paths again, I was kind of perplexed because I had not given any thought to this person….ever.  Yet, he acted as if we had always known each other and he had been wondering about me for sometime.   I figured it was futile to ask how that is possible. My sense is there is a reason this person has entered my life and it is for me to accept or walk away from, rather than question.  It is always interesting to me when I meet someone I barely know (if at all) and there is an immediate connection. I am somewhat selective about my interpersonal relationships and it gives me reason to pause when I meet someone and feel at ease right away or sense things about someone with little information.

I think about divine timing, divine intervention and the things we are unable to see with the human eye.  A series of events can happen that seem coincidental; though there may be a divine plan for all of us. Karma and free will and choice play a role every day; however, I do feel sometimes in spite of beliefs, thought processes, choices, and divine timing take over.  If it was meant to happen, regardless of what you do, it will be placed in front of you or will come out of left field and how to proceed is up to you.  If you ignore the something it may go away forever or the something may be repeated till you address what needs to be addressed.  You can run but you cannot hide and resistance is futile.

For me, I am waiting to see what is next. I continue to do what I enjoy and what makes me happy.  Though when something comes out of left field, I am going to hitch a ride and see where it takes me.

 

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April 29, 2013

Just Throw The Spaghetti Up On The Wall

I think about having a blog and how uncomfortable it is for me.  The discomfort I feel has been following me around like a stray dog of late.  For the non-exhibitionists out there, for me, a blog is akin to standing under a spotlight, on a stage, naked.  I guess that sounds a little weird; however, I find a blog to be quite revealing.  It is really out of the ordinary for me to “publicize” my point of view about anything.  I am quite reserved in sharing my feelings or in developing connections with others.  I keep most things within my small circle of friends.  Many times in my life I have heard, “I have no idea how to read you” as I am admittedly selective about who I confide in or  with whom I share my point of view.   A blog is a weird dichotomy for me as I like to keep to myself; yet I am posting thoughts and reactions on the internet.  Newsflash: there is nothing private about the internet, so what am I doing?  I have yet to admit I have a blog to my closest friends as I am really self conscious about it.  It is a blog not some government secret but I guess it feels quite personal.   It is all rather contradictory, I do admit.  I believe everyone has a point of view and sharing with others can have many benefits whether through writing, art, music, cooking, building, photography – whatever the preferred outlet.  At the same time, it makes me uncomfortable to put my point of view out there as I worry about sounding silly.  The creative side of me enjoys writing among other things.  The pragmatic side of me wonders if I sound ridiculous and how often I have used a semi-colon improperly.  

I decided to start my blog at the advice of my brother and one of my friends. Both have encouraged me to just start writing and “get over” the details.  Just throw the spaghetti up on the wall and see what sticks?  I thought it necessary to start out with a brilliant idea and a perfect logo and color scheme.  At some point, I realized focusing on details was my way of practicing avoidance.  If I do not have a clever name or the right layout or an amazing logo, how can I start a blog?  It reminds me of freshman year in high school, sitting on the varsity bench, hoping I was invisible to my coach.  How could I play in a varsity game if I was only freshman with so little varsity playing time.  I thought there was a chance he did not see me sitting at the end of the bench.  And to my horror, as if my coach was reading my mind, he would send me to the scorers table to check in to get in the game. #55 on the floor.

There is nothing fancy about my blog. I just start writing when I have something following me around that I would like to get off my mind.  I am a poor proof reader.  I usually write late at night and am hardly an eagle eye at hours when I would be better off sleeping.  In fact, I often go back days later and find myself correcting mistakes – that is the pragmatic side of me.  The side of me that finds grammatical errors and typos embarrassing and sub par.  For some a blog may be liberating or  of little consequence.  For some it is source of income and a way to connect with others.  I am just trying to figure it all out right now.  My discomfort is probably more my insecurity about what someone reading this might think or fear of sounding ridiculous if the people who know me read this.   I try to just go with the flow even if human nature keeping tapping me on the shoulder.  Insecurities happen.  Fear happens.  It is comes down to doing things to build up confidence to erase insecurity and fear.  It probably means I would be better off admitting my blog “secret” to my friends, then perhaps it would be no big deal…and someone would volunteer to be my proof reader/editor.

 

 

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April 26, 2013

Put Your Feet Up

Have you ever tried to make things happen and feel you are repeatedly stymied?  Sometimes I wonder if what stymies me is amount of thinking I do.  Is this right?  What am I missing? Maybe Tuesday would be a better day?  Sometimes I wonder if the Universe puts the skids on things.  What do I mean by the Univese? I mean the unseen force that makes things happen for a reason and force me to follow specific steps versus taking my own rogue approach.  I have found trying to force something to happen is an exercise in futility.  If things do not happen as planned, redirect your energy towards something else.

I went to a psychic about 5 years ago.  Mrs G was a tough a nails, kind soul with a gift that some would describe as malarkey; however those that knew her will say there was no one like her.  One thing Mrs G. said that stands out in my mind is, ‘Oh honey, you’re just going to have to sit back and let the Universe do its thing.   You have no control over some things in your life so just sit back’  Sit back and what?  It sounded crazy to me at the time.   I rarely sit back and do nothing as I control my destiny…don’t I?  I dug my heels in after I left Mrs G’s house and was insistent on being at the helm of what happens in my life.   I was unfamiliar with the concept of running into road blocks and being diverted off my course.  I am always on the go and always see things through to completion

Fast forward 5 years and I have to say, I have changed my point of view over the years.  I do not live by what Mrs G. says, however, I believe there was a in lesson for me in her words.  There are times when free will, other people, health,life (whatever the variable) throw you off course.   The unexpected happens, timing can be off, or plans change and thus it becomes necessary to zig and zag and redirect focus, path, or energy in  a new way.

Though this may be trivial, I had a goal at the beginning of 2013 to be able to do unassisted pull ups in my crossfit sessions.  I was well on my way to building the strength and endurance till 2 weeks into January when I came down with the flu.  Derailed. Shortly after shaking the flu, a stomach virus put me to bed for several days. Derailed again. I recuperated and returned to the gym ready to conquer the pull up bar…till another stomach virus took me out.  By the time this round of illness struck, it seemed laughable to me.

I did not let the 2013 Germ Party keep me down.  I returned to the gym ready to go and was making good progress; till the fateful night when flipping tires was on the crossfit agenda.  I managed to throw my pelvis out of whack flipping a tire.  I went to the doctor about a week later, was diagnosed with a twisted pelvis and an inflamed sacroiliac joint (Google it) and directed to go to a physical therapist ASAP. MAN DOWN!  I was in such pain I could not lie down, sit down or put my shoes on.  Do you know how big a role your pelvis plays in your daily routine?  I was unaware, quite frankly. The physical therapist took one look at me and said, ‘I know your type. You’re going to try to go workout in this condition the minute you feel better.’  I had met my match as that is exactly what I would do and without a lot of detail, I did try to workout and it was so painful, it was unbearable.  I was forced to sit back and allow myself to heal – no crossfit, no yoga, nothing strenuous.  I was permitted to walk my dog (maybe a mile or 2, not 10 miles, I was told) and some upper body weights and that was all for about 6 weeks.  I acquiesced and went to physical therapy and followed the protocol.  I was stubbornly aware resting would get me back to the gym faster than trying to force myself to feel better.

Why did I just share my 2013 medical history?  Lessons.  I have to believe my body needed rest and I was oblivious.  I needed to sit back and just let things happen around me (like healing), instead of trying force myself back into a normal routine.   It was as if my body said, ‘Ok you won’t take a hint with a stomach virus, so you’re going to be forced to stop.’  I had to slow down considerably and start listening to my body to get back into a routine….slowly. Slowing down taught me many things.  I learned to appreciate having free time after work instead of going to the gym.  I learned to look forward to my morning and evening walks with my dog as those are quite peaceful times of day.  I took the time to cook healthier meals. I slowed down and found new appreciation for things in my life that I may have taken for granted.

I feel there are times when we all need to change the pace of our days.  Daily life can be chaotic.  I know I get wound up and stressed out without an awareness of the toll it is taking on my health and body.  Maybe it was Universe telling me to focus on myself for awhile. Maybe my immune system needed to be recharged.  Whatever it was, I still think of Mrs G. telling me to sit back as that was exactly what i did for about 4 months.  I sat back and just took it easy instead of trying to force the issue.

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April 22, 2013

Take the Leap

How does one find their purpose?  Does each person know their purpose or do we have to follow clues to find it?  Maybe some have one purpose and others have multiple?  The majority of my hours each work day are spent at my office or with clients; yet I know in my gut my purpose in life is something other than my day job.  When I was 25 years old I was certain I would work in my current industry for the rest of my life.  I had aspirations to be a seasoned executive and that idea now seems like history to me.   I am grateful for my current job and appreciate all I have learned over the years.  I have more experience and more exposure and truth be told, there is something else I would like to do.  The “What” is in its fledgling stage as I try to frame and pin it down.  The “What” started nipping at my heels about 2 years ago so I started to pay attention.

I have been talking to people I encounter about their career choices.  My question is usually, ‘Do you work in this area’ and it usually leads to a description of where the person works and what they do.  I am learning people with a passion have usually identified their purpose or have discovered what they really want to be doing.  For some this translates into a hobby and for others a side job.  I find I am running into more and more people who have changed it up completely and fall into the leap of faith category. Each time I hear ‘it was a leap of faith’, my radar goes up.  There is much to learn from the people who say this as they have made great changes or uprooted everything in spite of the unknown and risks.   Those I have spoken with say what they do feels like a hobby and they can spend endless hours working on their projects and towards goals. Most say it can be challenging when you take a leap of faith; yet somehow the pieces fall into place.  Just recently, I saw a friend who gave up her job in sales to go into a completely new line of work and she is very content.  She did say her new life is not always ‘peaches and cream’ and she has no regrets.  She moved to the west coast and is learning a specific trade, scrapes by and is very happy.  Another friend decided he was not cut out for corporate America soon after college, started his own business, and has been driven since.  He said if a project never comes to fruition, he rarely gets discouraged because there are always new opportunities to focus on.  He noted his income sometimes fluctuates and it makes him worry, but he always keeps going.  I find the leap of faith people think about the next step instead of letting frustration or fear take over when something does not work out as planned.  I find when someone is doing what “feels” right he or she is usually excited to talk about their work and their learnings and experiences.  Those learnings and experiences can often be carried forward to the next thing.

When I hear leap of faith in a person’s story, it makes me feel as though it is a story intended for me to hear.  It makes me wonder when I will put myself in a position to look over the edge and say, ‘Ok now is the time.’ Predictability has always been very important to me as relates to my full time job.  I suppose this is indicative of my responsible, pragmatic side.  My paycheck is a consistent as is my business and my client base. It feels more like a means to an end versus something I jump out of bed for every day.  Though consistency and predictability are good, perhaps I need to find a better balance of being a risk taker without fear.  I am unsure if fear holds me back or if it is matter of timing or something else. How do I plant my feet firmly on the path to my purpose?  I may be moving the right direction right now and need to give myself more credit.  I do know one thing. I want to be the person who says, “I was working in a cubicle and one day decided I had an opportunity I was unable to pass up.  I took a leap of faith and I never looked back.”

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April 16, 2013

I Am Like Everyone Else

How can senseless acts happen?  It is a rhetorical question really and there are many answers.  I was in a meeting and received a text message from a friend who escaped 7 World Trade on September 11th.  She wrote, “Boston reminds me of 9/11.”  I had no idea what she was talking about and was totally confused.  I logged onto my laptop and contacted my brother who lives in the Boston area.  I asked if something happened in Boston.  He replied with, “Bombs on the finish line of the marathon.”   I really needed nothing further as I knew what it all meant.  My brother proceeded to tell me it was bad, described the scene as heartbreaking, and recommended I avoid the photos online.   I was at a loss for words as usual in illogical situations.  I never fall apart or lose my cool.  During any crisis or traumatic event, my brain begins to work, my emotions get shoved aside and I try to understand.  I often ask myself, “What can I do about this?”  When it comes to these random acts of violence, after a few moments, my brain just stops on me and emotion usually ramps up.

There are some things for which logic and rational thinking are inapplicable and today was another example.  Empathy and compassion are what come forward for me.  How must those people feel?  How will their lives change and how will they deal with sudden, tragic death of a loved one?  A sudden traumatic injury?  How will they cope with the pain?  It will be much for those impacted to process.  I even felt empathy for those who never had an opportunity to finish a race for which they worked so hard to train.  I felt a heavy weight on my chest imagining what all of these runners, fans, families, friends, bystanders, first responders must be feeling in the continuum of pain and loss.

Truthfully, I was never one to pray and more often, I find myself saying a little prayer as I believe words and thoughts are energy.  Today I prayed to the Archangel Michael to protect the city of Boston and all of the people impacted from further pain and suffering.  It was all I could come up with to help from where I was sitting.  Angels are messengers of God from what I have read; however, they have specific jobs; and thus I called upon the heavy hitter because that is was I felt Boston needed.  Bring protection as that is a good thing.

I try to think of something positive in spite of any tragedy.  It is way to find solace and to lift the cloud of darkness, in my opinion.  It took me several hours to find the light in the darkness as my empathic state carried on.  For all those people who suffered injuries, they are in one of the best cities in the country for medical treatment.  The teaching and medical institutions. the facilities, the brilliant practitioners, truly a blessing in light of an unheralded tragedy.  I trust the medical practitioners in Boston will serve every person hospitalized with the best treatment one can hope for in a trauma situation.  This is a blessing under the dust, pain and smoke created today.

Although it is a bittersweet positive note, it is something I think is important for anyone to understand.  We are never alone.  This world is changing rapidly and while we hope for peace, tragic events do surface.  As I sat in my desk chair, reading the news about the Boston marathon, my empathy swirled and my mind went to, ‘These people are not alone.’  I learned as a result of the death of a dear college friend and through the impact of September 11th on my community and my friends, you are never alone.  This is a blessing.  Through connection and kindness, regardless of geography, other people, groups, communities can empathize and can understand the shock and the pain of waiting and loss.   It is a comforting thing and it can be an amazing thing to see or experience.  To feel the compassion and empathy of others who take the time reach out to say, “We know how you feel and we support you and let us help” is a gift in of itself.   It is through acts of kindness, human connection and gratitude that we, as humans, find our way out of these events to establish a new sense of belonging or a new normal.  In my experience, any tragedy will change you and these connections help you see the path forward.

 

 

 

 

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April 4, 2013

A Mind of Its Own

What does it mean when someone says, ‘Have faith in the process’? Does it mean just go with the flow?  Does it mean be patient?   It is so hard to be patient when events in life are outside your control or when the what to do next seems unclear.  I have so many things rolling around my head these days and often find myself wondering when my brain is going to take a break.  Figuring out one’s purpose or relationships or career or where to live or anything “big” in life can be elusive,  challenging and perplexing at times.  I keep reading things that implicitly or explicitly state ‘have faith in the process.’  Have faith in the process of making yourself crazy trying to solve puzzles for which pieces appear to be missing?  Or  does it mean just stop thinking and see what happens.  When I try to stop thinking about something, I find it to be an exercise in futility.  I would love it if my brain had a delete button for some things; but alas, as a human, the brain can work overtime and springs things upon us whether we like it or not.  If it means go do something, what do you do when you are unsure what to do?

The trigger for much of what goes on in my brain is how I feel about the things rolling around in my head.  My brain used to take care of everything.  If someone asked how I felt, I would reply with ‘I think….’ and never ‘I feel…’.  I used to be able to compartmentalize things in my life. Put it in a mental box, tie a bow around it, and go about my business.  I am unsure when my brain was pushed out of the driver seat and forced to work alongside feelings and intuition but it happened.  

Since my brain had to to reckon with feelings and intuition, other things have come to light.  I have been inspired to be more creative. It may sound unusual and I felt it was odd at first, then I started to just go with the flow. I went out and bought watercolor paints and brushes and started painting.  I used to love be creative and artistic and when I walked into an art store last summer, I was in awe.  All I could FEEL was ‘Whoa!!! There is so much I can do in here!’  I quite enjoy painting with watercolors and drawing among other things.  I realized I had put my creative self on a shelf many years ago and had forgotten about it.  I would guess most people would be surprised to find out I have a creative side at this point in my life.

I also started to write in the last several months. I used to write and illustrate short books when I was a kid.  I have translated that into a personal blog, this blog, and a few notebooks   There are times when I just need to write whatever is top of mind.  It is rarely creative whimsical writing and often about something that struck a nerve in a good way or a bad way or a curious way.  

I guess going back to painting and writing are cases of me just going with the flow.  Doing rather than questioning; though I must admit sometimes I am unsure of why or what.  Maybe I just had faith in the process of dusting off my creative side and there is more to come.

Are you a thinker or a feeler?

Filed Under: Believe, Go with the flow, Life Lessons, Listening Tagged With: , , , , Leave a Comment
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