November 5, 2013

Patience, patience

I have nothing specific to write about yet lots of different thoughts in my head.  I have been thinking about patience as a learned skill.  I am not sure if we are born with patience.  I think we develop patience over time, based on experience. I know I can be a patient person inherently and I know I  have had to spend many years working on new levels of patience because it is impossible force things to happen. The invisible clock that determines when things will happen in life is something that forces us to be put the brakes on.  Your way may not be the best way. Sometimes, no matter the avenue you take, the steps you take, or what you try to change,  your only option is to follow the process, whatever the process is… Go one step at a step no matter how slowly versus racing to the finish for immediate gratification.  I have learned you cannot always kick doors open. You have to wait for the right time to unlock the door or wait until the door opens on its own based on your own actions.

Little things can open doors. When you piece all the small steps and little things together, you will find you have come upon something bigger, more answers, new perspective.  It is sort of like sculpting a stone.  Precise movements with a chisel or other tools help shape a sculpture.  If you rush, you may find you have hacked off a chunk of stone or have cracked the stone and have to start from the beginning or scrap the project entirely.  Rushing to the finish is not always the answer though tempting.  Sometimes you have to take a step back, evaluate your work, listen to your gut and then proceed.  I have been working really hard on my day job, on projects and had to just take a step back for a few days and let the energy settle around things.  I suppose I disconnected from it all for a few days and did things like shop and shop and shop some more. Things I definitely do not do on a regular basis, however, it was time for a little break.  I went to the mall and actually enjoyed it versus finding shopping to be a chore. A little retail hiatus is what I needed to clear my thoughts and reset my thought processes.

Getting back to patience.  Sometimes you have to follow a process to get to your end result.  Sometimes that process may take more time than you prefer.  Sometimes the process may seem illogical.  Sometimes that process may only reveal itself with each little thing you do which means you may be at the end of the process when things become clear and you have a moment of, “Ohhh so that’s what it was all about.”  I suppose learning patience is about learning a life lesson and teaching yourself to change your ways or slow things down or to follow what you cannot see.

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October 26, 2013

That Clock Is Chasing Me!

Do you ever find your approach to organizing your week ends up being the approach you take for your weekend?  During the week, everything I do is according to what time I have to be somewhere, what time I have a conference call or a meeting, and by what time I hope to get to bed at night.  I need less of that on the weekend and get into such a routine of living by a schedule getting away from that on the weekend can be challenging.

I had to travel to Atlanta for work this week.  As I was on my way to the airport to fly home, I was sitting in traffic on 285W thinking living on a timetable can be exhausting.  I spent my day in meetings with an invisible clock looming over my head.  90 minute meeting with one group, 30 minutes for this person, can I afford to eat lunch, 5 minutes with this person and if I leave the office later than 2:30pm I might miss my flight.  I spend a lot of time mentally calculating the minutes as I rotate through meetings and whatnot so I can fit everything in.  As I was sitting in traffic, the clock was still looming.  It kept reminding me traffic was in the way of my perfectly timed return to the airport, rental car return, and the circus that is security at the airport. I was in such a rush I bought a late lunch in the terminal and found myself eating a chicken sandwich that I would probably normally throw out ( waste not want not, what?).  In retrospect, I think cafeteria food would have been better.  I was so hungry and felt I had no time to give thought to anything except getting to the gate.  When the plane finally boarded, I just inserted myself in the boarding line.  Normally my attitude is, everyone will get on the plane so who cares when I get on the plane.  Yesterday, I wanted to sit down so badly and disconnect my brain, I was one of those people who was ready to bum rush the plane.  Living the rat race life for sure.

I woke up this morning and revolted against myself.  My whole week involved a schedule that had nothing to do with me and only what I must do to do my job.  It was wholly exhausting and time consuming.  Usually I push myself out of bed on a Saturday morning to get things done.  Today I stayed in bed till 10:00am because I decided who cares what I need to get done, bed is better.  I resolved to do nothing today requiring an agenda and decided to ignore the clock and my nagging pragmatic self.  What difference does it make if I do not get “stuff” done?  I did, however, decide to do things I have wanted to do all week versus needed to do.  A day of, “oh this is what I WANT to do right now.  Now I WANT to do this.”  Instead of “I need to get this, that, and the other thing done and how do I find the time.”  What I want to do takes very little effort; often anything I need to do is a chore so I opted for “want to do” today.  I find the days when I can ignore the clock that normally chases me to be much more relaxing and perhaps even more productive.  My brain certainly seems to be bouncing around less than it was and the numbing feeling that is created by keeping on top of everything has subsided.  (Maybe numb brain is only unique to me when the brain is on overload; however, I really feel like my brain is frozen sometimes).

I often say my brain is just going to quit on me or move out and find a new home.  I run it ragged.  I am sure many people have the same problem.  My brain must feel like it runs an ultra-marathon every day.  Recently one of my friends said she wishes her brain worked like mine because it is always “working” on something.  Funny thing is, I laughed at that statement and told her my brain is exhausting.  I am not sure if it is enviable!  I suppose it is just another reminder that I have to hit the stop button sometimes and just be less regimented. Do what I want and do what I enjoy; instead of requiring myself to meet timelines or to do things in a specific way every day of the week.  I always try to remind myself: if the words should or have to are part of my day, I am probably doing something as a result of some obligation or requirement either placed upon me by my own doing or something else’s.  I prefer ‘I want to’ because it usually proves to be energizing versus tiring.  And even when ‘I want to’ is tiring, it is usually satisfying and positive.

That said, I want to stop writing now because I want to go to the gym.  I have one place I am going later today that requires adherence to a schedule – the movies.  I can live with that!  Thank you for reading this blog!

 

Filed Under: balancing act, Life Lessons, perspective, power, practice, thepageofaquarius, time Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment
October 10, 2013

The Good Apple

One of my friends stopped by to visit after work last Friday. It was such a nice surprise I must say. It was something outside my usual Friday night routine and it was a fun distraction after a less than entertaining work week. It reminded me of a few things: 1. Remember the little things are often the best things 2. Show gratitude and appreciation for the little things delivered by someone else 3. Be grateful for the reminders we are given to appreciate the little things.

It is always nice to spend time with a friend and wonder where the time went while talking and listening. This is something I appreciate about a good conversation and find it to be a gift in of itself.  I have never been a person to have a myriad of superficial friends; rather, I have always been the type to have a group of close friends.  I remember thinking about my friendships when I was about 9 years old. Even at that age, though I was friendly with many people, I could see the difference in my friendships. There were people who more or less flitted around like butterflies and people who were like “pillars” as far as connections with friends go. Everyone needs those pillars, the people who will stand around, next you, behind you, in front of you, or pick you up when you need support. The people you can always count on, who believe in you, and will tell you the truth when you need to hear it (even if you do not want to hear it). I always value honesty as I always prefer to hear what will help me or what will give me reason to pause and think differently.  I can often tell when someone is saying what they think I want to hear and that just never works for me.  The quality and type of people in your life can be really important. Who you choose to have around you can be very telling and can help you or hurt you or teach you.

(No one is perfect.  Perfect is like beauty – in the eye of the beholder.  Just needed a little disclaimer before continuing on)

I was recently discussing some perplexing behavior demonstrated by someone I know with a friend of mine. She is often my voice of reason when I am confused or need clarity about something.  After explaining a few things, she said, “Sometimes you just pick the wrong friends.” I actually laughed out loud because she is probably right.  I tend to overlook other people’s agenda when I see good qualities in a person. I am learning sometimes a good apple can have some bruised, mushy parts under the skin and sometimes, that apple needs to go back in the pile.

When push comes to shove, you (should) know who your friends are when a need truly arises. The same friend (mentioned a few sentences ago) always says I contact her when she needs to hear from me. I can only say on those occasions, I have found myself thinking I should contact her and did so because I tend to think when someone pops to mind, there is a reason. Have you ever been thinking about someone, reached out to them and received the a reply like, “I am so happy to hear from you! I have been thinking about you all week!” Have you ever met someone and felt like you have know that person all your life?  People do share intangible connections and the people with whom you have connections always rise to the surface or show up when you need them most.

 

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September 10, 2013

Trust In What You Know

Inspiration comes in funny ways.  New ideas come to mind at the most random times.  I was working out on Sunday morning and it was a painful workout. I was tired and wanted coffee.  My favorite protein pancakes and an iced latte were on the menu once I got myself out of the gym so I had my inspiration.  Whatever it takes! Sometimes self motivation is simply not enough to get me through my workout!  Pancakes. Coffee. Pancakes. Coffee. Pancakes.  This is what was on my mind as I did mountain climbers and push ups and all of the things in my Sunday morning workout .  While going through my circuits, I started to think about more than just pancakes.  I started to think through various things I have been researching (like protein pancakes) and came up with a new blog idea during tricep dips.  The idea stuck with me so I started to really think it through.  On Sunday night, I sent my idea to my sounding board, aka my brother, and now it is a work in progress.

I am learning to let ideas flourish because it is better let creativity wander than discount an idea as silly or unimportant.  It is a lesson for me.   I have a tendency to think for a long time before doing some things.  Too much thinking opens the door for self doubt.  This causes me to minimize ideas when I find myself with something that takes me outside my comfort zone.  In this case, I came up with my idea and started to work on it that night.  Progress!  I took my inspiration and started to let my brain do its thing in a productive manner.  Some times it is better to work on the What and worry less about the How and trust in what you know.

Filed Under: direction, Go with the flow, Inspiration, Life Lessons, Listening, motivation, thepageofaquarius Tagged With: , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
September 4, 2013

Gratitude Is Easy

Back to work.  The day after Labor Day is always a bit deflating.  The end of summer is near which means bulky coats, boots and dark mornings and evenings are looming.  The end of last week also involved a rather unpleasant client meeting.  Unpleasant as in awkward silences and uncomfortable explanations about a deliverable.  As I started my drive to the same client location this morning, I was cringing a bit.  I am the face to the client so they look to me for answers and explanations and to listen to their pain points. When I am on the spot, honesty is my only route.  I learned early in my years in Corporate America to avoid taking things personally and to be composed no matter how the client is addressing me.  After an unpleasant meeting I always feel weird going back to the client.

As I was waiting in the lobby I was checking Instagram and Twitter, as I always do when I am just waiting.  It is always interesting to see what words of wisdom others are posting.  One person posted a picture of her journal and indicated she writes the things for which she is grateful as a daily practice.  Another posted that she makes note of the good things that happen to her each day before she goes to bed. And another posted her advice to thank yourself when something goes well. After last week, I decided to try to remember the good things at the conclusion of my all day client visit.

Fast forward to 11am when I sat down with one my key client contacts.  She has a daughter my age so it is hard to get anything past her.  She uses mother’s intuition with me so it is futile to think anything will go unnoticed. She started by saying, “I wanted to talk to you about last week’s meeting and how you conducted yourself.”  I cringed in my chair as I waited to hear what was next as I really had no idea how I was perceived by the client after a rigmarole of a conference call.  She said, “Some of the people on the phone were being unreasonable.  You were poised and you listened and your responses were very thoughtful and reflective of the fact that you were listening to what was said.  We appreciated that you were willing volunteered to go to the executive meeting to explain the circumstances.  You did an excellent job given the awkward circumstances and awkward silences.”  WHEW!  I was so relieved and so grateful to receive a compliment from a customer.  I pride myself in advocating for my clients and giving them honest answers and understanding in my interactions.  Most often, when working as a service provider, compliments are few and far between as clients often speak up when displeased.  My client also said, “You either enjoy the abuse (jokingly) or you have learned to take nothing personally.”  To which I replied (in short), “It is business, nothing is personal here and I learned that a lesson many years ago.”  WHEW!  It turned my day around to hear my client validate that I did the right thing and approached business concerns in the right way.  I am fairly confident in my ability, however, hearing how someone perceives me is helpful and enlightening.  I decided to chalk that up to a good thing that happened to me today.

My takeaway is to show gratitude.  It is easy and often effortless.  Always thank the people who do good work.  I tend to thank people in any service capacity because I have had several different jobs in my life.  It is very easy to show gratitude and appreciation when someone works behind a counter or over the telephone.  I find many people forget to do this .  I send notes to senior management when some goes above and beyond.  I have been known to pull over on the side of the road to thank utility workers.  Every day for the last 4 the staff at Starbucks has gotten my drink wrong.  I suspect a lot of people would get annoyed,  however, I just asked them to correct it and thanked the barista for doing so.  I see how hard the baristas work during a rush and no one is intentionally giving me the wrong coffee concoction.  Say thank you to the people who provide service as they deserve to be acknowledged and they deserve to know their work is appreciated.  If you are a regular, introduce yourself and learn the names of the people who prepare your coffee or wait on your table or do your pedicure.  I find it it usually leads to better service and a more positive experience for all parties involved.

Filed Under: blog, business, compassion, corporate america, empathy, experience, Life Lessons, Listening, perspective, practice, thepageofaquarius Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment
September 1, 2013

Thank You. Merci. Gracias. You Get It.

Just say thank you. Two words when used together are often very powerful.  These are the only two words you need to use sometimes. When someone does something nice for you say thank you, rather than objecting.  I was with two friends this weekend and one is in a financial situation that makes me appreciate my steady job and uncomplicated life.  Right or wrong, because I have an income and she is unemployed and supporting her family as best she can, I refuse any gestures involving money out of her pocket. It bothers her that I do this and she snuck in and paid for my smoothie at a take out place on Saturday afternoon.  I thanked her for her kindness and generosity; however, in my mind I wished she had saved the $5 to do something for herself.

I have rules with my friends. In spite of good intention, I try to avoid allowing my friends with financial constraints from spending money on me, even a cup of coffee.  I have the flexibility of spending money in my day to day life and always prefer a person save their dollars until easier days come around or apply elsewhere i.e. groceries or other needs.  Another friend of mine was unemployed a few years ago and working hard to find a new job.  During this time, she was dining home and was feeling bummed out because she needed to restrict her spending.  I insisted on buying her sushi one night to get her out of the house; plus I wanted company for dinner as sushi is always better at the restaurant! She was uncomfortable with this because she is an independent woman and likes to pay her own way; however, she relented because I negotiated with her.  I made a deal.  I offered to let her pay for dinner once she had income feeding her bank account if she would let me make dinner my treat.  I held up my end of the bargain, about a year later, when she was finally employed again.  We met for dinner and she reminded me of the deal we made when the check came.  It made her happy to treat me to dinner after all that time and I thanked her.

I often think about acts of kindness and what we can do for other people.  Sometimes acts of kindness are well served when they help strangers.  Sometimes acts of kindness are well served when friends are in need.  When an opportunity to help someone presents itself, it is hard for me to say no.  To clarify, I am hardly a bleeding heart and truthfully am not the person who gives money to homeless people sitting on the street.  I will, however, donate food to a food pantry or clothes to charity, for example, to ensure my contribution is put to good use.  When I have an opportunity to help, it tugs on me unless I take action.  It may be odd but true.  It takes so little effort to do something for someone else and if the response is ‘oh that is too much’ or something along those lines, I usually say, “just say thank you and do something for someone else when you can.”   Acts of kindness can be money free as well.  A neighbor was recently talking about a business idea he has been considering.  I told him I had been reading on the very topic he was interested in and shared blogs and articles I  had read to provide him with additional resources and possible leads.   Little or big, time consuming or easy to do, identifying an opportunity to help is rewarding and an opportunity to help can inspire the recipient or another person to pay it forward.   It goes along with the what goes around, comes around idea as well. Give kindness and you will probably see welcome and/or unexpected kindness in return. Help and when you need help, it will be returned.  Obvious statements I suppose yet on my mind for the last few days.  Thank you for reading this blog.

 

 

 

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August 30, 2013

Change This, Change That

There are a bazillion things you can do with your life.  There are a bazillion ways you can change things in your life. How do you decide what and when and how?  Change can be difficult without a doubt.  Changing habits, changing patterns, changing beliefs, changing lifestyle, changing your shoes, changing anything you can think of has its challenges.  Some changes are more challenging than others.  Maybe change can be fun, maybe it can be tedious or maybe it is just a necessity.

There are people who know me who will say I am a creature of habit; though I guess I do have a hard time picking things about me that are “creature of habit-isms.” Since the age of 10, I have always appreciated consistency and stability so I guess that is a creature of habit-ism.  It stems from moving.  My family uprooted to a new state when I was 10 and it changed my life so much that I think from then on, I have been inclined towards predictable.  Moving away from what was familiar to an entirely new place was a big deal for me.  I was unable to express how I felt or what was bothering me so my Mom had to deal with a lot of 10 year drama when I started at my new school. Kids in my class were picking on me and teasing me which was opposite of my experience in my prior school. I knew everyone, we all went to elementary school together, I was hardly aware of my height or my braces – till I went to a new school, in a new state and something changed!  When I think about that time in my life, I find myself saying, “Ohhhh maybe that is why I like a home base” or “Ohhhh may that is why it would take a lot to get me to move far away”.  I tend to reflect on life experiences that have given me reason to pause based on circumstance or situation.  I wonder what my perspective would have been if I felt like moving was an adventure as a 10 year old?  Adjusting was something that eluded my vocabulary upon setting foot in New Jersey.  I never knew then to change my perspective about the circumstances at hand.  Change can be forced, change can be weird, change can be tough, change can just happen whether you are ready for it or are asleep at the wheel.

On a lighter note, change with awareness can be quite good.  For the last two weeks, I have been on a perimeter of the grocery store breakfast, lunch, dinner plan with a daily stop at Starbucks (need latte) and the occasional non-perimeter snack.  Call me Captain Obvious but this little change has really made me feel better when I workout and after I workout and has given me more energy in the morning.  I have been researching new things to eat and to prepare and am amazed how much healthier my eating habits have been. Less sugar and less dairy have really given me more energy when I workout.  Hardly rocket science but revealing to me since I considered myself a healthy eater (with a penchant for cookies…and the cake pops at Starbucks). Changing what you eat and how much water you drink, really does a body good. Making a change and seeing positive results is motivation to continue down a path and to look for other things to tweak and modify.  When it comes to how you eat or what you drink, one has to want to change otherwise it feels like a chore.  I remember when my Dad had a heart attack, the next day, while in the ICU, he said, “Well I guess I can never eat escargot again.”  As if he ever eats escargot?  However, he was in a hospital bed thinking of all the things he could suddenly no longer eat because he had a rude awakening into the life of a cardiac patient.  The escargot statement did teach me it is better to make changes on my own volition rather than being forced in another direction by circumstances I could have controlled or influenced.  

Is it possible to feel every change as a good change?  I am unsure, however, it possible that whatever happens, the outcome may always ended up better than expected.  In the case of my grocery store perimeter meals, at first it was quite torturous.  I really felt like it was torture to change my ways and avoid my favorite yogurt and sweet treats for two weeks (Chobani Flips are like dessert yet yogurt, do try). After a full week suddenly the discomfort dissipated and I also found some healthier alternatives to my standard sweet treats.  I survived the change of habit!  I am hardly strict with myself (as noted by the corn bread I ate tonight) as everyone needs a treat here and there!  However, I am liking the change.

 

Filed Under: balancing act, Believe, experience, Life Lessons, motivation, perspective, success, thepageofaquarius Tagged With: , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
August 20, 2013

Feet Up, Unplugged

In this day in age, we all just need to unplug from the day to day routine periodically.  Turn off laptops, phone devices, tablets, ebooks, stop taking work calls and disconnect for awhile.  I did this last week while on vacation at the seashore and when I returned to civilization, I felt so good.  It was liberating to spend a week away from the interruptive technology of my daily routine.  Losing the feeling that compels me to check email and reply to clients disappeared for several days.  Admittedly, I had a personal mobile phone with me but I even left that in my bedroom or my purse to give myself a break.  I tried to be productive while I was on vacation, however, that was a futile effort.  My brain was refusing to participate in anything productive such as reading a book, writing, doing a crossword.  My brain was fried even though my body was ready to get out. My brain won over and I barely did anything except focus on what I would eat for lunch each day.  On my first day of vacation, I sat on the porch unable to move.  I spent the entire day sitting on the porch, planning to head to the beach though I made no movement to do so.  I finally gave up on plans to move off the porch around 4pm.  Why fight it?  Sitting back with my feet up was working just fine.  By the end of the week, I realized it was the first week of good sleep I had had in awhile. 11pm – 7am every day and no feeling of dread or angst about the work day ahead.  Instead, I feel totally at ease (cue Lionel Ritchie), easy like Sunday morning. That comes to mind because I woke up several times wondering what day it was as every day felt like Sunday. Relaxed, low key and lazy.

Some people are really good at taking vacation, I am guilty of ending up with unused days at the end of every year.  I follow a blog ( one of many) and the writer advises looking at the calendar at beginning of the year and planning vacation time ahead.  I now understand why she advises this though it has taken me awhile to see the value.  Everyone needs a break and it you wait too long to do it, it requires a lot more rest and relaxation to get back to “normal.”  If you wait to long, you end up crunched for time and with leftover vacation days.

That is all I have to say for now.  My brain is still in vacation mode.  When I returned to work today, I felt like a fish swimming upstream as a week away took away my stride.  However, I was much more patient with myself and everything requiring my attention.  Planning time off before the end of the year is on the list.

 

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August 5, 2013

Enjoying the Uncomfortable Zone

Overcoming fear is an option at every stage of life.  We are born with two fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises.  Though I lack any scientific or medical training, I would guess people develop fears based on experiences, self talk and perhaps outside influences over the course of a lifetime.  There may be times when fear seems irrational or illogical and times when it makes perfect sense.  There is always a choice to recognize a fear, understand it and work to overcome it; or let it follow you around in life.  I must say there are some fears that come out of the blue and sometimes they are hard to understand.

What started me thinking of fear was a TED Talk I listened to on NPR TED Radio Hour recently.  Roz Savage was the featured speaker, a management consultant turned ocean rower.  As the story was introduced by the announcer, I was compelled to listen because I could relate to the introduction and kept saying, “Whoa how did she do that?”  Of course, as I asked myself that question, the answers were revealed as the talk unfolded.  

As I listened, I wondered how many people can relate to how Roz Savage ended up as an ocean rower; how she ended up doing something outside the original “plan”.  How many of us follow a path because we feel we should or it is what we are supposed to do.  Rules created based on a story we make up about ourselves.  Ms. Savage took a management consulting career path because that was the thing to do.  It made her question what she was doing with her life and her purpose in life.  She wanted adventure and questioned whether she fit the “mold” of an adventurer.  She sat down and wrote two versions of her own obituary – the now and the what if versions – and realized the life she was heading for was not what she wanted.  She wanted a life she could be proud of and knew she needed to change her course.  She realized she needed to create her happiness rather than wait for it to come to her.  Ms. Savage ultimately broke out of her comfort zone and took a massive leap of faith and started rowing.  Her story about how to overcome fear is fascinating to me.  What DO you do when you are alone, in a boat, in the middle of the ocean?  You figure it out with what you have at hand.

We all end up standing in the middle of the proverbial ocean at some point in our lives and we have choices to overcome fear or to let it take over.  When you are questioning things, when do you take a leap of faith outside your comfort zone?  Taking a leap of faith can be intimidating so how do you work through your fear or discomfort to get what you want?  What tools do you use to move forward? Who do you reach out to if you need help?  Roz Savage was primarily alone, however, when her water purifier broke during a trip on the Pacific, she was able to “phone a friend” using her satellite phone.  She found fellow ocean travelers to meet up with to trade fresh water for food.  I suppose taking a leap of faith means we have to believe we have what we need and if we need something else, we will find it or it will be brought to us.  I suppose once you take the initial leap of faith, you learn how to solve problems in new ways rather than letting fear hold you back.  A leap of faith becomes a walk in the park with obstacles and challenges along the way.

What are you questioning today?  Are you wondering about your purpose?  Are you standing in the middle of the ocean?  Roz Savage was in a position like mine at some point and her story reminded me I can do something different and as can most of us.   I know I am trying to approach things differently. When I think I have done the right things, I can always reflect on things I can do better next time. I would say leaving your comfort zone is extremely uncomfortable; but once you have left it, you realize you had nothing to fear.

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July 31, 2013

It’s Poetic

Sometimes when I think about something, I notice things around me that relate to my thoughts.   I suppose it is as if when something is on my mind, the answers present themselves in unusual ways.  Tonight I was pondering what to do with my life as I often do and was thinking about the obstacles we all create for ourselves in one way or another.  I had a college professor who advised me to declare the major of interest to me when we were discussing my course of study.  I conveyed my fear of two classes others told me were impossible to pass.  My professor suggested if my fear of two classes were to stop me from declaring my major, then I would likely have regrets later on in life.  I passed the two classes with A’s and can say, even after all these years, I am happy I removed the obstacles I had created for myself in that situation.

One of my biggest learnings from that professor is my understanding of fear.  I have always felt fear stops us and is what makes us create obstacles for ourselves.  It can be paralyzing, distracting, confusing, and misleading.  While I was pondering this evening, I came across a TED Talk about overcoming fears (among other things) which I will write about later and a quote from E.E. Cummings (his full name Edward Estlin Cummings, I never knew). “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” E.E. Cummings.  For some reason this quote just bounced all around my brain like in a pinball machine (bing).  It made me think of people I know and myself and what it takes to change or why a person would find it difficult to change and why (bing).   I thought it can be pretty scary to leave things behind (bing), change things about yourself (bing), or do something unfamiliar (bing).  Leaving your comfort zone takes courage because it can be uncomfortable (bing bing bing).   It also reminded me of this post I recently wrote and as change occurs, it is good to have the right people around you.  It also reminded me of the blue dragon fly I saw today.  It landed near my foot while I was outside an office building talking to a colleague.  I found it to be an unusual location for a dragon fly and actually researched the symbolism of a dragon fly because it seemed odd to see such a critter where I did.  Dragon flies represent the symbolic meaning of transformation, change, and adaptability.  Things happen for a reason, you meet people for a reason, sometimes you read things for a reason….you catch my drift.

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