March 18, 2014

Closet Anxiety

Have you ever felt like you should be doing something and hesitate because you are unsure of what to do or how to do it?  And until you actually take steps, it will nag you like a gnat zipping around your head?   This weekend I woke up and was unable to determine if I had been thinking half consciously or if my dreams are just turning into the thoughts rumbling around my head. I am going to a Las Vegas wedding soon and in my dream or my half conscious thoughts, what to wear for Las Vegas nightlife was giving me angst.  Do normal people have half conscious thoughts and anxiety dreams about what to wear in Las Vegas?  Anytime wardrobe feels complicated, I get angst because dressing like J.Lo or Beyonce is far from how I operate day to day. This has given me a new dream in life.  How fabulous would it be to get on a plane, fly to a destination (we will go with Las Vegas) and have an entire wardrobe waiting in the hotel room, with accessories, shoes and a stylist at your beckon call?  Add hair and make-up artist to the mix since I can barely apply mascara. Talk about no brainer approach to travel and wardrobe. It would be a far easier approach than shopping and I have to believe that is how J.Lo and Beyonce travel. It is actually horrible to think about shopping for a trip to Las Vegas. When I NEED something (other than jeans or LuLu Lemon pants), I have a hard time finding the right clothes.  When I am shopping for no reason, I usually hit the jackpot.  What is that?  Though I would never do it, I have even gone down the route of cancelling my trip due to wardrobe anxiety.  Oh yeah, my brain – it is constantly in problem solving mode.  Cancel trip over wardrobe – could that be more illogical?  Would J.Lo do that?

It is funny.  I have been going to the same gym for a very long time. I avoid 99% of the other gym members except for a handful of really interesting, kind friends I have met along the way. Those friends know I tend to keep to myself and know I am, in fact, outgoing outside the gym. Some people make comments about my anti social ways during my workouts.  The truth is, I have no interest in socializing at the gym.  I am there to workout and do my thing and am happy in my own world.  I will wave hello and keep walking because who needs to spend 3 hours in the gym talking to random people every day?  How does that relate to Las Vegas and my wardrobe problems? Well it just makes me wonder if anyone calling me anti social would ever believe I am on an elliptical machine wondering how in the world I will outfit myself in Las Vegas?   “So if you had no idea what to wear on a weekend trip, would you cancel the trip?”  I guess I can poll the gym members?  The truth is, I do know the answer.  I will have to start shopping online for ideas and either order a bunch of dresses or go through the insufferable process of trying on clothes under those horrible fluorescent lights in all dressing rooms.

I was sitting here trying to figure out why I felt compelled to write; and the truth is, writing helps me get things out of my head.  I have no better description than sometimes mental constipation strikes (sorry that is just so wrong yet just so apt) and I have to start writing. So many thoughts build up and so much going on in my brain, an outlet is just so necessary to free up space.  I selected my Las Vegas wardrobe angst as my topic because it seems so ridiculous and frivolous (though it is real!!) and it is my reality.  Clothes give me angst (except jeans and LuLu Lemon pants).  Do you think my brain will just quit on me someday due to improper use of a high quality mental capacity and processing ability?  

Thank you for reading this blog!

Filed Under: perspective Tagged With: , , , , , 2 Comments
March 7, 2014

What’s On The Menu?

I talk about food often.  When I was in high school, during whatever team practice I was involved in, I would talk about what I wanted to eat after practice all through practice. I think I used to do it on bus rides home after games, too.  I always make the reservation when my friends want to get together for dinner.  There is usually a specific menu item at a restaurant that I have been waiting to try.  My family likes to talk about bacon and finding the best bacon ever.  We send food to each other as gifts.   Food is a constant topic of conversation with one of my friends from the gym, it is how we survive out workout, I think.  One of my favorite philanthropic things to do is donate to a food pantry.  When I shop for my bounty, I think about what would make a little kid happy or what would make a parent feel they are putting nutritious food on the table.  I might be a little like the beauty pageant contestant who wants to end world hunger except without glitzy hair, makeup and graceful walk.

I read a lot of blogs and follow a variety of people on Twitter and Instagram. There are so many food trends out there today (for my own lack of a better description). It is rather interesting to see what is popular and surprising how many people post regular pictures of their meals.  I am not one to jump on any type of fad diet or adopt a specific style of eating.  Veganism is the wrong thing for me.  Bacon is too good to never eat again unless the world is forced into a survivalist scenario. Gluten-free would be rough unless medically necessary because cookies, croissants, and bagels are some of my favorite foods. I am hard pressed to believe there is a gluten free croissant on this planet that tastes as good as the real thing. There is a high probability you will find a KIND bar in my purse and laptop bag as my go to snack versus a croissant, however.  I lean towards vegetarian eating though I throw (surprise) bacon in my brussel sprouts now and then so I can never say I am a vegetarian!

Learning about new foods and new ways of eating can be beneficial and informative.  I read recipes and adapt them to suit my preferences.  Nutritional value is becoming more important in this world of mass produced food and lack of visibility into sources of our food.  As the years go by, I am find I am more interested in what I put into my body and  realize there can be upsides and downsides to anything.  The thought of where shrimp come from is quite unappealing and milk skeeves me out sometimes (but I do like my morning latte). Different points of view on food and what to eat usually results in new knowledge or a recipe I can add to my repertoire.  I have always enjoyed guacamole. Until I really understood how GOOD an avocado is in all of its many ways, I never really ate them.  Now I keep them on my kitchen counter.

Here is a blog to which I subscribe for point of view http://meganmcgrane.com/ Megan is someone I met at the gym and she is a genuinely lovely, ambitious person.  I ran into her recently and told her I look forward to seeing where she is in 5 years.  She has the ability to demystify health and medical topics which I find refreshing.  A demystified point of view with medical training to boot means to me ‘she gets it’ when it comes to the whys and hows and what is important to the reader.  

Thank you for reading this blog and Megan’s blog!

Filed Under: perspective Tagged With: , , , , , , , 2 Comments
December 4, 2013

Ray of Happiness

“It is not happy people who are thankful, it is thankful people who are happy.”  I read this on Paul Coelho’s twitter feed on Thanksgiving Day.  It just resonated with me and stuck with me for a few days as it gave me food for thought.  How can anyone be happy without feeling thankful, without expression of gratitude?  I  had never really thought about it before and it is tough to be happy without being thankful. To be truly happy, one has to be able to appreciate what they have, big or small.  On any day of the week, even any hour of the day, we can all find something to be thankful for and in turn, anyone would be feel happy when saying, “I am thankful for (fill in the blank).”

I can understand there may be times when it is difficult to be thankful – especially when circumstance leaves us asking questions and wondering why.  Even in that type of situation, if it means grasping for the little things and straws, it might be possible to find things to drum up gratitude and subsequently a ray of happiness.  I give a pass to people in catastrophic situations because sometimes one needs to just be something other than thankful and happy to deal with matters at hand.  For the rest of us in uncomfortable situations, I rationalize it like this: even though this or that happened, I am really thankful for this thing and for that I am happy.  I have this habit of trying to find the positive in any situation – sometimes it is easy, sometimes it takes a little thought.  However, thinking about the positive AND what to be thankful for is a new and interesting way of looking at things.

This is kind of simple and cliche but I am going with it.  I am not a fan of turkey or Thanksgiving foods in general – scandalous, I know.  I never look forward to the actual meal (I do appreciate the appetizers, however).  I think most people anticipate Thanksgiving dinner with enthusiasm.  I can take it or leave it for various reasons.  That said, the meal itself is unimportant.  I am very fortunate to have a family that gets together and dines together and for little nephews to liven everything up. How can anyone not be thankful for family and 1 year old boys tearing up a party? I am thankful that my brother and sister in law host so I never have to roast a turkey or have 6-months worth of leftovers in my house (6-months may be an exaggeration but I swear a turkey can last till summer).  It makes me so happy to go home on Thanksgiving and to know the next time I see turkey it will be next Thanksgiving.  I am the baker for Thanksgiving so for that I am thankful as I enjoy baking and can spend days baking and never get bored..as I did for Thanksgiving this year. If someone else did the baking, Thanksgiving prep would not be the same for me.

If you go through the list of things for which you are thankful, you will find many sources of happiness. You may find yourself paying more attention to big things, small things, people, places, pets, opportunities when you really dig into it.  Gratitude and what makes people happy have been on my mind a lot lately for no specific reason I can pin point.  I just know it is important to be thankful, to feel gratitude and to be happy.  The Paul Coelho quote was one of those serendipitous things – I found exactly what I was looking for – a short and sweet explanation of the cause and effect of thankful and happy.

Thank you for reading this blog!

Filed Under: blog, experience, gratitude, Life Lessons, perspective Tagged With: , , , , , , Leave a Comment
November 13, 2013

Just Wait

Like it or not, things happen for a reason.  When you think you have all the answers, things can just turn around and surprise you.  I do have a habit of  jumping to my own conclusions here and there.  I can say I have been guilty of making assumptions to try to figure something out and drawing conclusions based on observation or partial information.

I like to have the answers to things even when I may be lacking detail or information.  It is far too easy to add my own pieces to a puzzle to create a full picture.  This ‘technique’ only leads to a puzzle full of odd holes and spaces and wrong assumptions.  It is sort of like drawing a map and then being blind folded half way through. The user of the map will likely end up lost since the path will only partially serve its purpose. There are times when my intuition helps me and instances when I ignore my intuition and results are usually varied.  It would behoove me to listen to my intuition as often as possible as it is a good internal map whatever the path I take in life.  I had two instances this week when I decided to listen to my intuition and the outcome was to my advantage.  I have two instances a few weeks back when I said, ‘this is my desired outcome’ and oddly, the outcome just recently played out just as I had hoped. I have one instance in which I ignored my intuition and about 6 hours later thought to myself, “I should have listened…”  I definitely had an AH HA moment.

My lessons are repeating themselves or maybe evolving.  Okay, repeating.  It is necessary to be patient even when it feels impossible to exercise patience.  Answers will come forward.  Information will surface.  Clarity will present itself.  The timeline may be short or long and it is likely outside reasonable control.  Sometimes it is better to sit back and observe instead of drawing conclusions.  Sometimes it is better to wait something out when waiting feels like the right thing to do, even if waiting is really tough to do.  Sometimes trying to figure out everything on your own is the wrong way and letting things come to fruition is the better way. Sometimes trusting your instincts is the only clear path to figuring out the answers you seek.

 

 

Filed Under: experience, intuition, Life Lessons, Listening, perspective, thepageofaquarius Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment
October 28, 2013

Liebster Award

A Liebster Award

I was so surprised when my friend Carissa reached out to tell me that she was nominating this blog for a Liebster Award. It is a nice way to introduce others to new blogs and writers and it is so nice to know someone reads my blog.  In my eyes, new can be new to you and me or brand new to to everyone.  Everyone has a point of view to share so discovering a new blog usually means learning something new.

Carissa and I became friends in college through friends we still have in common today.  We ended up in the same study abroad program and she proved to be a true friend when I needed one and a fun, adventurous travel companion.  She can probably do a far better job of a telling a story about a crack of dawn train ride through Austria during which there would be no sleeping in our train car.  I decided to keep her awake blabbing about something on my mind…about which I now have no recollection.

Anyway, Carissa is a talented writer with rich stories to tell about life and her adventures with friends, family and her four fabulous children.  She is a regular writer for the Huffington Post which I feel is incredibly impressive since she is an example of: you never know where a creative venture can take you.  This is just the beginning for her so let’s see where she is in 5 years.   Here is a link to her blog  http://www.carissak.com/ and here is a link to her Huffington Post column http://www.huffingtonpost.com/carissa-k/.  She is officially a published online writer – how cool is that?

That said, with the nomination came questions she asked me to answer:

What inspired you to start blogging?

During most work days, my brother and I are in contact via Google Talk.  I could not really tell you what we chat about but I can say, there were many times when he would say, “You should blog about that.”  I was unsure about the blog thing and he set me up with access to Word Press, told me to start writing, and eventually I did.  Though I was unsure what the theme would be and started out with nothing in terms of a design, I figured my brother would read my blog and one reader is a good start!


How about a round of Rose and Thorn?  What was the best part of your past week, and what was the worst?
The best part of my past week getting off the plane in Atlanta, GA and deciding I would pretend I was on vacation while in there though I was really there for business.  I figured I better make a game of it since I really had no interest in being there.  I started out with a Pinkberry frozen yogurt as I walked to my red VW Jetta rental car.  When I checked in at the hotel (somewhere I had never previously stayed) I was told I received an upgrade to a 900 sq ft luxury suite that was like a high rise apartment.  It was like being on the vacation rather than imagining I was on vacation!  I had a concierge, a living room, dining room and a view of Buckhead and downtown Atlanta.  It was a nice surprise for an otherwise ordinary business trip.  The worst part of me week last week was the end of the movie Gravity – the new Sandra Bullock/George Clooney flick.  The last 2 minutes of the movie were over the top and kind of silly in my opinion.
How is the way you grew up playing a role in your current adventures?
My current adventures are encouraging me to rediscover my creative side.  Up until about the age of 12, I did all things creative and artistic.  I went to yoga while at Montessori School.  I painted, wrote “books”, I  doodled and drew and had drawing pads and coloring books, I loved art class. I learned to bake and to knit.  I used my imagination to pass the time quite often.  Somewhere along the lines, I lost that and I often wonder where I would be today had I kept developing that side of me versus sending the creative me off to hibernation.  My blog and other things have made me rediscover creativity and it is a valuable escape from day to day life.  Who knows how I will use creativity in the future.
What was the last book that you read?
The last book I read is:  The Game of Life and How To Play It by Florence Scovel Shinn.  It was written in 1925.  Someone recommended it to me and found it interesting because the power of positive thinking has been around for a long, long time!
What do you collect?
I seem to be collecting LuLu Lemon workout gear.  If LuLu Lemon had clothing that were appropriate for the corporate environment, I would buy it.  Alas, it is best for the gym and working from  home.
If you could take a cross country road trip, who would you invite to join you and why?
Well, this is a difficult question for me because I can think of several people with whom I would make this trek.  I might stuff my entire family into an RV and see if we make to the the other side of the country without trying to toss one another out of the RV onto the side of the road.  Plus it is something my Dad has always wanted to do and my Mom might protest and would be glad she did in the end.  I might also take 3 of my college friends on a road trip because it would be the closest I could get to all of us living in the same town/city again.  Lastly, my friends who are twin sisters.  We went on a trip together a few years ago and I declared myself a triplet because we had such a great time together.  And we look so much alike – me blonde, blue eyed and they are brunette, brown eyes.
What is your guilty pleasure?
Definitely the caramel sauce drizzled on top of my latte at Starbucks.  I have been known to lick it off the top if it gets stuck on there.  I also like watching Grey’s Anatomy and the Long Island Medium when I want to disconnect my brain from reality.  Also Pinkberry frozen yogurt right next to gate A9 in Hartsfield Jackson Atlanta International Airport.
=================================================================================
I am supposed to nominate another blog friend for this award but I do not really have any “blog friends” other than Carissa.  I will share other blogs I read often because with an open mind, you can often learn something from others:
http://nicoleandtheangels.com/blog-2/   A blog written by a very talented spiritual guide to anyone who needs something other than the usual day to day.
http://ohhappyday.com/ a blog inspired by colorful, creative party planning and design ideas and DIY party projects.  Anything called Oh Happy Day is worth reading in my opinion.
http://pinchofyum.com/ a food lover started this blog.  Her photos will make you want to eat pancakes or any other recipe featured.
http://www.sherocksfitnesstx.com/ DIY workouts for a good butt kicking and a down to earth read about food and life in general.  I have learned some good things here.
http://www.yettas.com/ a photo a day by a photographer who I feel produces very good work and also my brother (nevermind any bias) and a member of my personal advisory board.
There are many more blogs I really like and visit often – I suppose going back to the what do I collect question – I collect blogs. Perhaps I need to start a blog roll on this site as many people have very interesting content and perspectives.
Thank you for reading this blog and the blogs of others!
Filed Under: art form, Believe, blog, Inspiration, motivation, passion, perspective, potential Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
October 26, 2013

That Clock Is Chasing Me!

Do you ever find your approach to organizing your week ends up being the approach you take for your weekend?  During the week, everything I do is according to what time I have to be somewhere, what time I have a conference call or a meeting, and by what time I hope to get to bed at night.  I need less of that on the weekend and get into such a routine of living by a schedule getting away from that on the weekend can be challenging.

I had to travel to Atlanta for work this week.  As I was on my way to the airport to fly home, I was sitting in traffic on 285W thinking living on a timetable can be exhausting.  I spent my day in meetings with an invisible clock looming over my head.  90 minute meeting with one group, 30 minutes for this person, can I afford to eat lunch, 5 minutes with this person and if I leave the office later than 2:30pm I might miss my flight.  I spend a lot of time mentally calculating the minutes as I rotate through meetings and whatnot so I can fit everything in.  As I was sitting in traffic, the clock was still looming.  It kept reminding me traffic was in the way of my perfectly timed return to the airport, rental car return, and the circus that is security at the airport. I was in such a rush I bought a late lunch in the terminal and found myself eating a chicken sandwich that I would probably normally throw out ( waste not want not, what?).  In retrospect, I think cafeteria food would have been better.  I was so hungry and felt I had no time to give thought to anything except getting to the gate.  When the plane finally boarded, I just inserted myself in the boarding line.  Normally my attitude is, everyone will get on the plane so who cares when I get on the plane.  Yesterday, I wanted to sit down so badly and disconnect my brain, I was one of those people who was ready to bum rush the plane.  Living the rat race life for sure.

I woke up this morning and revolted against myself.  My whole week involved a schedule that had nothing to do with me and only what I must do to do my job.  It was wholly exhausting and time consuming.  Usually I push myself out of bed on a Saturday morning to get things done.  Today I stayed in bed till 10:00am because I decided who cares what I need to get done, bed is better.  I resolved to do nothing today requiring an agenda and decided to ignore the clock and my nagging pragmatic self.  What difference does it make if I do not get “stuff” done?  I did, however, decide to do things I have wanted to do all week versus needed to do.  A day of, “oh this is what I WANT to do right now.  Now I WANT to do this.”  Instead of “I need to get this, that, and the other thing done and how do I find the time.”  What I want to do takes very little effort; often anything I need to do is a chore so I opted for “want to do” today.  I find the days when I can ignore the clock that normally chases me to be much more relaxing and perhaps even more productive.  My brain certainly seems to be bouncing around less than it was and the numbing feeling that is created by keeping on top of everything has subsided.  (Maybe numb brain is only unique to me when the brain is on overload; however, I really feel like my brain is frozen sometimes).

I often say my brain is just going to quit on me or move out and find a new home.  I run it ragged.  I am sure many people have the same problem.  My brain must feel like it runs an ultra-marathon every day.  Recently one of my friends said she wishes her brain worked like mine because it is always “working” on something.  Funny thing is, I laughed at that statement and told her my brain is exhausting.  I am not sure if it is enviable!  I suppose it is just another reminder that I have to hit the stop button sometimes and just be less regimented. Do what I want and do what I enjoy; instead of requiring myself to meet timelines or to do things in a specific way every day of the week.  I always try to remind myself: if the words should or have to are part of my day, I am probably doing something as a result of some obligation or requirement either placed upon me by my own doing or something else’s.  I prefer ‘I want to’ because it usually proves to be energizing versus tiring.  And even when ‘I want to’ is tiring, it is usually satisfying and positive.

That said, I want to stop writing now because I want to go to the gym.  I have one place I am going later today that requires adherence to a schedule – the movies.  I can live with that!  Thank you for reading this blog!

 

Filed Under: balancing act, Life Lessons, perspective, power, practice, thepageofaquarius, time Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment
October 10, 2013

The Good Apple

One of my friends stopped by to visit after work last Friday. It was such a nice surprise I must say. It was something outside my usual Friday night routine and it was a fun distraction after a less than entertaining work week. It reminded me of a few things: 1. Remember the little things are often the best things 2. Show gratitude and appreciation for the little things delivered by someone else 3. Be grateful for the reminders we are given to appreciate the little things.

It is always nice to spend time with a friend and wonder where the time went while talking and listening. This is something I appreciate about a good conversation and find it to be a gift in of itself.  I have never been a person to have a myriad of superficial friends; rather, I have always been the type to have a group of close friends.  I remember thinking about my friendships when I was about 9 years old. Even at that age, though I was friendly with many people, I could see the difference in my friendships. There were people who more or less flitted around like butterflies and people who were like “pillars” as far as connections with friends go. Everyone needs those pillars, the people who will stand around, next you, behind you, in front of you, or pick you up when you need support. The people you can always count on, who believe in you, and will tell you the truth when you need to hear it (even if you do not want to hear it). I always value honesty as I always prefer to hear what will help me or what will give me reason to pause and think differently.  I can often tell when someone is saying what they think I want to hear and that just never works for me.  The quality and type of people in your life can be really important. Who you choose to have around you can be very telling and can help you or hurt you or teach you.

(No one is perfect.  Perfect is like beauty – in the eye of the beholder.  Just needed a little disclaimer before continuing on)

I was recently discussing some perplexing behavior demonstrated by someone I know with a friend of mine. She is often my voice of reason when I am confused or need clarity about something.  After explaining a few things, she said, “Sometimes you just pick the wrong friends.” I actually laughed out loud because she is probably right.  I tend to overlook other people’s agenda when I see good qualities in a person. I am learning sometimes a good apple can have some bruised, mushy parts under the skin and sometimes, that apple needs to go back in the pile.

When push comes to shove, you (should) know who your friends are when a need truly arises. The same friend (mentioned a few sentences ago) always says I contact her when she needs to hear from me. I can only say on those occasions, I have found myself thinking I should contact her and did so because I tend to think when someone pops to mind, there is a reason. Have you ever been thinking about someone, reached out to them and received the a reply like, “I am so happy to hear from you! I have been thinking about you all week!” Have you ever met someone and felt like you have know that person all your life?  People do share intangible connections and the people with whom you have connections always rise to the surface or show up when you need them most.

 

Filed Under: Life Lessons, Listening, perspective, thepageofaquarius Tagged With: , , , , Leave a Comment
September 21, 2013

Are The Right People Around You?

Building upon an idea requires the right people to provide support or to add insight .  My vision is fuzzy when it comes to visualizing color and creative interpretation.  I am working on a blog makeover and when I made the decision to do this, I felt like I was standing in a strange city without a map or GPS.  I was unsure of how to approach my vision.  On a whim, I reached out to someone I found online who has a side business of creative design for blogs and websites.  When I shared my vision, she replied with some abstract ideas that I loved.You know you have found the right person when you see their suggestions and say, “WOW! I love this!”  I can be a very literal person and while I can do many things, envisioning a creative or artistic design is difficult for me.  I can describe what I want and convey what inspires me but bringing that together into a picture can be tedious!  I need someone who can help me interpret my vision or show how colors or patterns can be complementary.

My strengths lie in areas that are less artsy and more logical.  I can envision ideas on a practical level and come up with concepts. When it comes to colors, coordination and aesthetics, it is a struggle.  I knew I had to find someone who could help me with my blog idea.  There are some things just better left to people have skill sets that are different than mine.  Plus, I really have little interest in doing creative design or blog design and much prefer the surprise of someone else’s interpretation and ability to run with a vision or an idea.  Ask me how to solve a problem, I can probably come up with a solution.  Ask me to pick out fabrics or patterns or colors for anything and you may see a blank look on my face.

It brings me to the idea of understanding your “power”.  What are the tools you have intuitively and naturally that you can share with someone else to help them along whatever path they are on?  What do you hold in your hands (figuratively) that you can work with and use that may be stifled or collecting dust?  We all have something and it can vary from ability to fix things to baking cakes to interior design to writing. Recognizing what you do well is really important.  Recognizing where it would be helpful to hire help or to have someone pitch in is always will serve anyone better.  It comes down to knowing your strengths and capitalizing and knowing your weaknesses and accepting them.  It takes so much more effort to try to make a weakness a strength and so little effort to ask someone if they can help when it would be most beneficial. For example, I have a friend who may as well be a professional shopper/stylist.  She has taught me how to incorporate colors and style into my wardrobe in ways that I can repeat on my own.  However, every now and then, I need her assistance shopping because she has a eye for fashion and I do the best I can.  When you ask for help or hire someone, make sure you have people who are excellent at what they do and make sure you choose people who will show up. Consistent. Reliable. Trustworthy. Objective. Present. Supportive. These are the words that come to mind for me when I think of who I want to working with me.  It is important to gather the right people to support your vision else you may find things slow down or do not turn out as you envision.  If you are lacking what you need in the people around you, make a change.  If you find yourself going to a person who understands your vision or can give you helpful objective or even actionable feedback or advice, then you have the right person. Know when to run with what or who you have and know when to bring someone new on board and to make a change to benefit your path.

Filed Under: Believe, direction, experience, Inspiration, intuition, perspective, power, success, thepageofaquarius, vision, Words Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment
September 16, 2013

Self-Doubt Chirping

Working past self doubt is a challenge.  I have this plan for a new blog.  I will be running two, actually.  You are reading my skirt and high heels blog (in need of a make over).  My new blog will be my running shoes and kick up my feet blog.  I am working on a plan to invest money into the appearance and the design of both of my creations versus my usual method of throw the spaghetti up on the wall.  I guess it could be called an investment in my future in spite of the little voice in my head saying, “the future of what?”  Thank you Self-Doubt for chiming in and trying to squish my idea, is all I have to say about that.  This is one of those things that came to me and I felt like running with it; yet Self-Doubt chirps away.

Someone recently observed I fear things and I probably have no idea what it is I am afraid of.  I found that to be a fair assessment as the unknown is a source of fear for me and something about the unknown rattles my confidence.  I have no idea what the unknown holds and that is my own obstacle.  Who cares what the unknown holds?  I am reminding myself to shape the unknown as I want it to be and to allow changes and shifts as things reveal themselves.  I have to remind myself to just take a little leap of faith every now and then, as there is really nothing to lose in pursuing an idea.   I need to focus on what I want to do now and how I want the “now” to unfold.  Self-Doubt needs a mute button.

Taking an idea and allowing it to come to fruition can be a revealing way to let others see your point of view or perspective and to hear your voice (literally or figuratively).  You may learn something new about yourself and others may learn something new about you.  In my case, Self-Doubt can be an annoyance and an idea stopper.   Self-Doubt feeds fear…or does fear feed Self-Doubt?  Chicken or the egg?  Needless to say, the combination can be the source of self imposed obstacles that can stop creativity or progress in its tracks, if allowed.  I suppose it is  natural to hear the chirping of Self-Doubt in any venture or process and it is a lesson in will, I think.  Mute Self-Doubt and carry on.

Filed Under: Believe, business, direction, Go with the flow, Inspiration, motivation, perspective, Purpose, successful venture, thepageofaquarius Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment
September 12, 2013

Do It Your Way On This Day

Remember what is important and remember how good you have it.  How many times do we all forget to relish the times of simplicity in our lives?

Today is a day that reminds me where I was and what I was doing and how I first found out a plane hit the World Trade Center.  I can remember how I reacted, my surroundings and all the things I did that day.  The media coverage was overwhelming at the time.  Since 2001, I have always avoided TV and any kind of news outlets when the calendar switches to the 11th of September.  Like a cattle brand, my memories are burned into my brain (like anyone else) and I need no further reminder. I can remember the phone call from Jersey City informing me of something I actually thought was a mistake at first.   I can envision what I saw from Newark airport a few days following.  I can envision all the missing persons flyers I saw in Penn Station and posted around the city for a time following that day.  I can remember the memorials at the local train stations for the people who never returned home.  People say never forget.  My response is I can never forgot, nor would I forget.  Some times I wonder if it is disrespectful to avoid media coverage of the memorial events each year.  However, I really feel the news media can give anyone information indigestion.  I feel each person should observe this day however they wish, in whatever way is most comfortable. Though I am hardly religious, I woke up this morning and prayed for peace and protection for all the people who lost someone or more, all the people who were lost, all the people who are saddened or sick as a result of events on that day.   “Anyone who needs it on this day, please bring peace and protect the people who have passed and the people who survived or were left behind and every person touched by the events 12 years ago.”  Then I started my day.  I decided to respect those impacted by remembering I am fortunate to drive to work and sit at my desk.  With my usual grace, I spilled coffee on my dress and was grateful that was the worst thing I had to deal with today. I was reminded my “issues” are trivial and for those of us not living through something, whatever that something may be, the rest of us can extend empathy, compassion, kindness and support to those who need it. I found this quote last night and it is a good reminder:  Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.  Be kind.  Always.

Appreciate when you have periods of time in life when things are uncomplicated.  Appreciate when you are the observer instead of one of the affected and help when you can.  Do small things to show kindness because even the little things go a long way.  What goes around comes around. When you need kindness, it will come back to you in ways that likely would surprise you.

I do appreciate the light installation in lower Manhattan.  I saw many pictures on Instagram tonight.  It is quite peaceful and serene.

9-11-new-york-2013-001.JPG

Filed Under: Believe, clarity, compassion, Connection, consciously aware, empathy, perspective Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
Next Page»