Name Your Journey

“Purpose is a journey.  It doesn’t come as a revelation from above but from living life awake and seeking new experiences”  Aaron Hurst

What is purpose? What is the purpose of each person this earth? Before I read Aaron Hurst’s book The Purpose Economy, my definition of purpose was very basic – something you are meant to do.  I have heard people say they want to find their purpose or others who say they have always known their purpose. I guess I figured either you are born knowing your purpose or eventually your purpose becomes obvious like a great epiphany.  I thought purpose was very specific, however, it may never be specific and is different for everyone.  Aaron Hurst describes purpose as a journey.  It is about finding direction, not a destination.  Purpose may not be one true calling but the approach we take to shaping a meaningful career and life.  He quoted Marcel Proust in his book to reinforce the concept of purpose as a journey:  We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.

If purpose is a journey then so is life.  Maybe purpose is the compass to help us figure out where to go in life.  The choices we make in our lives will either direct us to our purpose or drive us away from it.  Life is full of opportunities and choices. How we act on our choices will influence where we end up.  Perhaps we do not always make conscious choices and instead follow a feeling whether it be intuitive or fear based.  Fear is probably the biggest obstacle any human will encounter and fear is the link to resistance.  Which to choose: “This is the right thing for me”
or “I know I should be doing this but (insert excuses here).”  It is up the individual to identify the journey, pay attention to signs and to trust instinct as a guide.  When fear plays into a decision, anyone will likely intentionally or inadvertently resist an opportunity.  There is always choice in any situation. Run in the opposite direction.  Play out the worse case scenario and move forward anyway.  Brush fear aside and head in the direction you know is right for you.  When I think of people who have started careers in traditional corporate environments and end up on a detour with a start up business they never believed possible, I believe choice, purpose, and destiny are involved.  Any journey is a process – step by step, piece by piece, like building a puzzle. In some situations, resistance may be futile and in some situations it may stymie success.  Whatever the case, when the inclination to let fear and resistance rule is pushed aside, grabbing a parachute for the leap of faith will result in growth, change, perspective and more insight into purpose.  A journey is about reaching the milestones to begin the next leg and less about a specific end result.

The journey through life towards purpose is an exercise in patience.  Timeline is unknown.  Obstacles unknown.  Opportunities may or may not be predictable.  As we figure out what we want in life, we weed out those things that fail to aid in growth and new perspective.  We were put on this earth for a reason. For some, knowing purpose from day one means the journey may have fewer milestones.  For others, it may mean overcoming hurdles and doing things that may require time before the picture becomes clear.  How many people say (or have said), “I am just going to do this and see where it leads me.”  If you feel passionate about something or feel something is truly important – even without a cogent explanation – grab your parachute.  You could fail or you could find yourself exactly where you belong or you could find yourself somewhere you never expected.

Thank you for reading this blog!

Self-Doubt Chirping

Working past self doubt is a challenge.  I have this plan for a new blog.  I will be running two, actually.  You are reading my skirt and high heels blog (in need of a make over).  My new blog will be my running shoes and kick up my feet blog.  I am working on a plan to invest money into the appearance and the design of both of my creations versus my usual method of throw the spaghetti up on the wall.  I guess it could be called an investment in my future in spite of the little voice in my head saying, “the future of what?”  Thank you Self-Doubt for chiming in and trying to squish my idea, is all I have to say about that.  This is one of those things that came to me and I felt like running with it; yet Self-Doubt chirps away.

Someone recently observed I fear things and I probably have no idea what it is I am afraid of.  I found that to be a fair assessment as the unknown is a source of fear for me and something about the unknown rattles my confidence.  I have no idea what the unknown holds and that is my own obstacle.  Who cares what the unknown holds?  I am reminding myself to shape the unknown as I want it to be and to allow changes and shifts as things reveal themselves.  I have to remind myself to just take a little leap of faith every now and then, as there is really nothing to lose in pursuing an idea.   I need to focus on what I want to do now and how I want the “now” to unfold.  Self-Doubt needs a mute button.

Taking an idea and allowing it to come to fruition can be a revealing way to let others see your point of view or perspective and to hear your voice (literally or figuratively).  You may learn something new about yourself and others may learn something new about you.  In my case, Self-Doubt can be an annoyance and an idea stopper.   Self-Doubt feeds fear…or does fear feed Self-Doubt?  Chicken or the egg?  Needless to say, the combination can be the source of self imposed obstacles that can stop creativity or progress in its tracks, if allowed.  I suppose it is  natural to hear the chirping of Self-Doubt in any venture or process and it is a lesson in will, I think.  Mute Self-Doubt and carry on.

Turn Your Habits Around

While trying unsuccessfully to use my brain while on vacation, I did find myself thinking about habits.  What habits do you have that really fail to serve a beneficial purpose?  At that moment, I actually had a block as relates to my bad habits and put the idea on a mental shelf.  Sometimes things fall off the mental shelf while I am commuting and that was the case while I was sitting in traffic this week.

One of my worst habits is worrying.  I worry about work matters that are outside my control and how to manage client perception. Worry really is an exercise in futility as there are just some things I can do little about except take it all in stride.  Such is life in Corporate America!  Why keep myself up at night or create unnecessary stress if situations and environmental circumstances are caused by someone or something else?  I am finding it is better to empathize with my clients or be honest with my clients when they discuss pain points.  I try to always tell the truth when something goes awry in a professional, palatable manner. Rather than subjecting myself to worry and stress, I find it easier to take off the business mask and just have a human conversation.  Mistakes happen, nothing is perfect and we do the best we can.  I have been working to shift my thoughts anytime the little worry voice in my head pops up.  Once I realize I am starting down the worry path, I do my best to stop myself and focus on something totally different and positive.  The mind is a really funny thing.

Another thing that came to mind: eating and sleeping habits.  Generally I lean towards healthy foods and I exercise regularly.  There are times when it is just easier to eat chips for dinner or a few cookies for breakfast and slack off at the gym because I am too tired to do anything.  ( I support eating dessert for breakfast because why must it only be served after dinner?)  However, I realized over the course of several months, my work related stress levels have been increasing, my sleeping patterns were inconsistent – staying up too late, getting up really early or sleeping really late. Exhaustion and stress were driving me to want more sweets while also taking energy away from my workouts.  After vacation I decided to give myself a break.  I realized I need to take a step back and be more regimented about how I eat and how I sleep as I had fallen off course sometime in the Spring.  Bed by 10:30pm is my goal so waking up is easier in the morning.  I follow a number of nutrition/healthy lifestyle blogs and found some new food and recipe ideas and noted a few key things:

  • Eat for nutrition, not for fun.  Cookies or breakfast are tasty! I feel much more energetic after a plate of protein pancakes or a bowl of oatmeal or Greek yogurt with fruit and granola.  I knew this and had forgotten somehow?

  • Drink more water.  It is my go to beverage but I have been so busy and preoccupied I really had only been drinking water at the gym. Dehydration = tired.  And hardly economical admittedly – I have been buying 50 oz bottles of water to drink over the course of a day.  I will buy a water bottle to take with me, bottled water has been a stop gap.

  • Figure out what works for you with different resources.  When I cook something, I read many recipes to find the combination of ingredients I want to use to create my own recipe.  I did the same this week.  I read different blogs and found the things that work for me to get back on track.  I was reminded of some things, learned new things about different and new foods  and learned new things about nutrition.   I always find new and different perspective when I read what regular people are doing.  Some of the blogs I read and follow on Twitter/Instagram are:

There are other habits I gave thought to, however, I decided to address those that impact my quality of life first.  I did have a big fat pork chop for dinner last night and shared strawberry shortcake for dessert, so by no means have I given up eating for enjoyment!  However, I went to bed at a reasonable time, woke up at 7:30am and ate a healthy breakfast (plain Chobani with nectarines, strawberries and granola), hit the gym for over an hour, and made a healthy lunch.   Moderation as they always say and avoid deprivation!

I suppose habits that lack benefit to life style, quality of life, health, etc only steer us away from what serves us well.   It happens and when you realize it, it takes little effort to shift things around and get back on the better path.

 

Enjoying the Uncomfortable Zone

Overcoming fear is an option at every stage of life.  We are born with two fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises.  Though I lack any scientific or medical training, I would guess people develop fears based on experiences, self talk and perhaps outside influences over the course of a lifetime.  There may be times when fear seems irrational or illogical and times when it makes perfect sense.  There is always a choice to recognize a fear, understand it and work to overcome it; or let it follow you around in life.  I must say there are some fears that come out of the blue and sometimes they are hard to understand.

What started me thinking of fear was a TED Talk I listened to on NPR TED Radio Hour recently.  Roz Savage was the featured speaker, a management consultant turned ocean rower.  As the story was introduced by the announcer, I was compelled to listen because I could relate to the introduction and kept saying, “Whoa how did she do that?”  Of course, as I asked myself that question, the answers were revealed as the talk unfolded.  

As I listened, I wondered how many people can relate to how Roz Savage ended up as an ocean rower; how she ended up doing something outside the original “plan”.  How many of us follow a path because we feel we should or it is what we are supposed to do.  Rules created based on a story we make up about ourselves.  Ms. Savage took a management consulting career path because that was the thing to do.  It made her question what she was doing with her life and her purpose in life.  She wanted adventure and questioned whether she fit the “mold” of an adventurer.  She sat down and wrote two versions of her own obituary – the now and the what if versions – and realized the life she was heading for was not what she wanted.  She wanted a life she could be proud of and knew she needed to change her course.  She realized she needed to create her happiness rather than wait for it to come to her.  Ms. Savage ultimately broke out of her comfort zone and took a massive leap of faith and started rowing.  Her story about how to overcome fear is fascinating to me.  What DO you do when you are alone, in a boat, in the middle of the ocean?  You figure it out with what you have at hand.

We all end up standing in the middle of the proverbial ocean at some point in our lives and we have choices to overcome fear or to let it take over.  When you are questioning things, when do you take a leap of faith outside your comfort zone?  Taking a leap of faith can be intimidating so how do you work through your fear or discomfort to get what you want?  What tools do you use to move forward? Who do you reach out to if you need help?  Roz Savage was primarily alone, however, when her water purifier broke during a trip on the Pacific, she was able to “phone a friend” using her satellite phone.  She found fellow ocean travelers to meet up with to trade fresh water for food.  I suppose taking a leap of faith means we have to believe we have what we need and if we need something else, we will find it or it will be brought to us.  I suppose once you take the initial leap of faith, you learn how to solve problems in new ways rather than letting fear hold you back.  A leap of faith becomes a walk in the park with obstacles and challenges along the way.

What are you questioning today?  Are you wondering about your purpose?  Are you standing in the middle of the ocean?  Roz Savage was in a position like mine at some point and her story reminded me I can do something different and as can most of us.   I know I am trying to approach things differently. When I think I have done the right things, I can always reflect on things I can do better next time. I would say leaving your comfort zone is extremely uncomfortable; but once you have left it, you realize you had nothing to fear.

Starting Something New?!

How do you go about doing something about which you know very little?  Starting something new can be a daunting task.  How do I start? What do I do?  When do I do it?  I have been talking to various people I know about their jobs.  It is amazing how many dissatisfied people exist in Corporate America.  I would hardly say any stories I have heard are reflective of disgruntled employees; in fact, what I have heard are stories of exhaustion, stress and loss of motivation due to industry dynamics, corporate culture, layoffs and lack of resources.  Do more with less plagues most companies I would guess and I believe more often than not, executive management teams acts clueless, disinterested or in denial of how their decisions impact the people who truly support the business and a company’s customer base.

I was sitting next to a man in the airport this week and was eavesdropping on his telephone conversation.  Admittedly, I often eavesdrop as it amazes me how many people have public conversations with little awareness of who may be listening.  This man was talking about what it is like to be in sales for his company, a large cosmetics company, and how the culture has deteriorated and how invaluable his executive team makes the employee base feel.  He talked about a job interview earlier that day with a large pharmaceutical company and during the interview, the interviewer questioned his priorities.  When he said his wife and child were his the main priorities in his life, the interviewer told him that would be a problem in the sales job for which he was interviewing.  This man had to defend why his family matters to him and could not understand why anyone would question him.  I think he might be making mistake if he takes that job, if he is offered the job.  It is amazing what you can learn by eavesdropping and it is interesting to find similarities amongst strangers, friends, co-workers, acquaintances.  Most have feedback as relates to company expectations, attitude of management, pay grades, product performance and quality of life.  I will say there are some outliers as I have heard great things about a well known technology company, for example; though I am beginning to believe “good places” to work are becoming the outlier.  How many people wake up excited to go to work versus full of dread and stress?

 When I talk to someone about their experience and feelings about how their job, it is interesting to hear what a person would rather be doing. I have a friend who would like to work at Walmart rather than in his sales job.  I have another friend who would rather make donuts all day than go to the office.  It seems the rusty, sinking cruise ship that is the majority of Corporate America is struggling to understand what keeps employees happy and what matters to employees.  The outliers have it right yet the rest of Corporate America seems to be unwilling to flex.

 So what to do?  Every since the whole “we are in a Recession” period, the idea of small business elevating the economy has resonated with me.  Personally, I enjoy helping someone brainstorm what else they can do to earn money independently versus working for a large corporation. I find it fascinating to hear one’s ideas and interesting to help formulate a plan towards making ideas a reality. I realize not everyone can start a business and some people are happy as nurses or teachers or butchers or lawyers.  However, I believe there are many people out there who have something to offer the world of small business and consumers and hold back for reasons related to fear of failure, finances, change, and experience.

In conversations with people, I often find myself saying “Wow you would be really successful doing this or that as your own business.”  I have a friend who has an amazing eye for interior design.  She is on the Corporate Fast Track in her global company and is finally getting burnt out.  For years, I have believed when she gets sick of being uber successful in Corporate America, she will start her own business and have fun building a successful venture.  My friend recently bought a house to flip for fun and I have asked her to start a blog so others can see how she works and what amazing taste she has in color, fabric, and design.  I really believe this could be the start of a brand new direction for her and really look forward to seeing where she is in 5 years.

 Perhaps it time for many of us to take step back and really evaluate what we are doing with our time.  Understandably paychecks help us put food on the table and a roof over our heads.  However, how many people out there do something in their free time that may be a lucrative business opportunity? Would you like to do something you enjoy, something you can do daily and not feel like it is a grind to get through the day?  I have been thinking about how to help people I meet turn something enjoyable into something profitable.  Start your own business and see the business differently.  Lay down the ground work, start with a few steps, take a leap of faith.  Perhaps the best way to improve Corporate America is to find a new direction entirely.

 

Take the Leap

How does one find their purpose?  Does each person know their purpose or do we have to follow clues to find it?  Maybe some have one purpose and others have multiple?  The majority of my hours each work day are spent at my office or with clients; yet I know in my gut my purpose in life is something other than my day job.  When I was 25 years old I was certain I would work in my current industry for the rest of my life.  I had aspirations to be a seasoned executive and that idea now seems like history to me.   I am grateful for my current job and appreciate all I have learned over the years.  I have more experience and more exposure and truth be told, there is something else I would like to do.  The “What” is in its fledgling stage as I try to frame and pin it down.  The “What” started nipping at my heels about 2 years ago so I started to pay attention.

I have been talking to people I encounter about their career choices.  My question is usually, ‘Do you work in this area’ and it usually leads to a description of where the person works and what they do.  I am learning people with a passion have usually identified their purpose or have discovered what they really want to be doing.  For some this translates into a hobby and for others a side job.  I find I am running into more and more people who have changed it up completely and fall into the leap of faith category. Each time I hear ‘it was a leap of faith’, my radar goes up.  There is much to learn from the people who say this as they have made great changes or uprooted everything in spite of the unknown and risks.   Those I have spoken with say what they do feels like a hobby and they can spend endless hours working on their projects and towards goals. Most say it can be challenging when you take a leap of faith; yet somehow the pieces fall into place.  Just recently, I saw a friend who gave up her job in sales to go into a completely new line of work and she is very content.  She did say her new life is not always ‘peaches and cream’ and she has no regrets.  She moved to the west coast and is learning a specific trade, scrapes by and is very happy.  Another friend decided he was not cut out for corporate America soon after college, started his own business, and has been driven since.  He said if a project never comes to fruition, he rarely gets discouraged because there are always new opportunities to focus on.  He noted his income sometimes fluctuates and it makes him worry, but he always keeps going.  I find the leap of faith people think about the next step instead of letting frustration or fear take over when something does not work out as planned.  I find when someone is doing what “feels” right he or she is usually excited to talk about their work and their learnings and experiences.  Those learnings and experiences can often be carried forward to the next thing.

When I hear leap of faith in a person’s story, it makes me feel as though it is a story intended for me to hear.  It makes me wonder when I will put myself in a position to look over the edge and say, ‘Ok now is the time.’ Predictability has always been very important to me as relates to my full time job.  I suppose this is indicative of my responsible, pragmatic side.  My paycheck is a consistent as is my business and my client base. It feels more like a means to an end versus something I jump out of bed for every day.  Though consistency and predictability are good, perhaps I need to find a better balance of being a risk taker without fear.  I am unsure if fear holds me back or if it is matter of timing or something else. How do I plant my feet firmly on the path to my purpose?  I may be moving the right direction right now and need to give myself more credit.  I do know one thing. I want to be the person who says, “I was working in a cubicle and one day decided I had an opportunity I was unable to pass up.  I took a leap of faith and I never looked back.”

Stepping Out On To The Limb

Have you ever had an idea or something you have wanted to do and thought, “Am I crazy?”  It is times like these when you need moral support or someone or some people or some thing other worldly to reassure you.  I have friends who have heard my ideas or who have worked with me and said, ‘Now that I know what you can do, I am going to push you to do this for others.’  I feel like I have been thrown in the deep end of the pool and I have no choice but to swim.  I never sink.

I like stability and predictability in my life; yet I have the desire to go against the grain, my own grain.  I am the person who puts limitations on me.  I am the person who tells me it is impossible or I am unable to do something.  I usually prove myself wrong as I accomplish most anything on which I focus my energy.  I have such an internal struggle going on right now.  I feel like a cliche movie scene is running in my head.  One little version of myself sitting on my left shoulder telling me to let go of  pragmatism and take a brand new, unpaved path. Have faith, believe and trust in your ability.  One little version of my standing on my right should, hands on her hips telling me to stop being impractical, predictability is good for me.  Why upset the apple cart?

I am learning my fear of upsetting the apple cart is my biggest obstacle.  I learned many years ago, fear is generally what prevents people from following their path and their dreams whether related to education, career, love, relationships.  Fear is what prevents achievement, if one allows it to do so.  It is time to leave the comfort of what is known and what is predictable and to start venturing out onto limbs to see if I fly or if the limb breaks.  If I throw the spaghetti up on the wall and it sticks, I will reap the rewards.  If it falls off the wall, then I will find something else to throw up against the wall.

If I go with my gut and stop listening to the negative thoughts it my head about what I can or cannot do, I suspect I will find myself surprised somewhere down the line.  If I open myself up to things I have from which I have shielded myself, I am sure I will find new perspective and greater opportunity in all aspects of my life.

What is your biggest internal struggle?

 

Time to Wake Up!

What gets you out of bed in the morning?  A simple thing running across my mind of late.

There are two things that get me out of bed: my alarm clock or my dog Andy and his excitement for kibble.  It is a wake up and go to work routine Monday through Friday.  As time goes on, my attitude of going with the flow in life has actually guided me to start thinking about my purpose and what truly inspires me.  I would love to say my day job is truly inspiring, however, its true purpose is more in line with ensuring I can pay my bills and support my Starbucks habit.

There are definitely people who wake up every day with enthusiasm and see every day as different and anything but routine. It is a goal of mine to exit the ranks of daily alarm clock risers and join the group of purpose driven people who are earning their income by doing what comes naturally.  I often wonder how many people know their purpose and passion yet hold back from doing anything about it due to fear or lack of belief in what could be? It would be fabulous to finish up the work day and look forward to what the next day will bring.  I know people who enjoy what they do for a living every day in spite of challenges or obstacles they face.  When I ask what that is like, often the response is, “It feels more like a hobby than a job and I get paid for it.” Sounds inspiring to me!  

That which is purposeful or motivates you seems like the logical impetus to get out of bed in the morning rather an alarm clock. Please note, I do condone sleeping in and lazy days!.  It is highly probable many of us have yet to identify our purpose in life and thus getting out of bed Monday through Friday is more mundane than motivating.  I am now on a mission myself.

Are you passionate about your work?  What motivates you each day?

 

Andy