November 28, 2013

Gratitude Is The Best

Gratitude is the best. I have been thinking about what it is to be grateful and how it feels to be grateful and what it feels like to receive gratitude. “Gratitude is the best” is the phrase that keep popping into my head. Now Thanksgiving is tomorrow so it would seem logical that my thoughts about gratitude coincide with Turkey Day; however, timing is coincidence.  I was actually thinking about what intangible things make people happy and gratitude kept coming to mind.  Is it possible to feel anything but warm and fuzzy after saying thank you as a result a kind, polite, selfless or generous gesture? You are reminded of a kind gesture when you give thanks and the other person’s kindness is acknowledged. I have been unable to think of a situation when an expression of gratitude results is something other than a positive outcome or feeling.  Saying thank you is effortless and it shows appreciation and is easy to do.  It is rewarding, courteous, thoughtful, appreciated, welcomed, valuable and positive.  I think gratitude can be a win win for all parties involved.

When I was in my first month of college as a freshman, I received a package from my friend Darah. It was a big tin of homemade chocolate chip cookies with a colorful handwritten sign of encouragement.  Kind of like those that we used to create for each other to decorate lockers before tennis matches, basketball games and lacrosse games. I thought it odd that she forgot to sign her name and there was no return address on the package but recognized the handwriting as Darah’s, or so I thought (I did send a thank you note, since I am writing about gratitude).  Fast forward to Christmas break when I  saw my friend Jen.  I told her about the special delivery of cookies I had received from Darah a couple months back.  Jen look at me with disappointment and surprise.  She said, “Those cookies were from me!!  I thought you never received them because you never mentioned them!” Oh awkward!  I sort felt like a dolt and I am sure Darah found my thank you note perplexing since she knew nothing of cookies! My gratitude had good intention behind it but had been misplaced! Jen has likely forgotten the cookie scandal after all these years but I have to stored in my brain as it was a lesson for me.  Of the many things in life to get right, knowing where and when to show gratitude is very high on the list!  Thank you can be very meaningful to the giver or doer as these two words tend to produce positive results.   It is one of the easiest ways to put a smile on someone’s face, in my opinion.  Who does not smile when they say ‘you’re welcome’ or ‘it was my pleasure’?

My mother taught my brothers and I from a young age to write thank you notes so it is just something we all do.  It is always funny (not funny ha ha) when someone says, ‘Thank you for your note, it is so nice to receive a handwritten letter.’ In this day in age, we do some many things with technology that an email or a text message may lack the same meaning as something handwritten.  There is much to be said for taking the time to sit down with pen and paper write your thanks after someone has taken the time to do something kind, polite, selfless or generous.  On the flip side, there will be things for which we never receive thanks because they are done with good intention and the anticipation of gratitude.  I was in the mall recently and walked by the children’s wish tree.  I thoroughly enjoy helping a child see their Christmas wish come true so I selected the tag for a girl who was hoping for an Easy Bake Oven.  I always wanted one (who didn’t) and know how exciting it is to open the thing you want most on Christmas Day (excluding any live animals like puppies or ponies – not good gifts).  I will never meet this young girl and she will never know who secured that pink and purple Easy Bake Oven but it is enough for me to know it will make someone happy.  Indirect or anticipated gratitude is good enough for me.

Consider those things for which you are thankful as often as you can, not just with turkey and mashed potatoes.  Go out of your way to thank someone when thanks are appropriate – it goes a long way. Be thankful for the intangible and the tangible things, the people in your life, opportunities, your latte.  If you send someone a message right now and say, “Thank you for being my friend” – you might just make someone’s day.

Thank you for reading this blog!

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November 15, 2013

The Skeletons Can Be Helpful

Have faith in what will happen. It just popped into my head  and I started thinking about various events in my life.  When I reflect back on where I have been and where I am now, there are so many things I never expected or never anticipated. Writing that sounds ridiculous to me on some level. There are so many unexpected things that happen in life.  It is necessary trust in the idea that there is a reason behind everything that happens and the timing of things will be what it needs to be. Maybe some people ponder this often but I tend to reflect when something reminds me to do so.  How did you get here?  What decisions did I make or did I not make?  How have I changed? What has changed me or what has been the impetus to change? Here is what was happening 1 year ago, 5 years ago, 10 years ago.  The things in the present that were never on my radar in prior years are most interesting to me. 10 years ago I never would have imagined I would be working where I am today.5 years ago I would not have believed I would still be working where I am. It is interesting to reflect on the people who were in my life and those who have drifted in a different direction and the new people I have met along the way.

There is a saying I have read that I will misquote and it goes something like,  “Do not think about the past because you do not live there.”  I tend to look at the past as the way to learn how to avoid repeating those things you prefer to never again repeat.  You can say you will never do something again but I believe until you determine why you did something or examine what was happening in your life at a specific time, you may repeat things.  You have to look at the matter, understand why it happened, what role you played and what you can do differently next time.  I have a friend who says he nevers likes to think about the past.  He does not like to think about mistakes he has made or “stupid” things he has done.  Avoidance only leads to more of the same.   Facing yourself and taking accountability for things that have happened can be difficult and uncomfortable.  I tend to think once you take a hard look at something and you learn something valuable.   I think avoiding the past is like being chased. I think of a cartoon character running with zombie skeletons in fast pursuit.  Once you stop and turn around and address each skeleton by name and find out why you are being chased, the skeletons vanish.  We learn lessons from past actions by virtue of  facing things and setting them free.  If we choose to face a lesson or take a lesson to heart, it can only be a helpful lead-in to change. The past does not define us.  It can help us figure out who we want to be moving forward. We make mistakes, we make less than ideal decisions, we do weird things, hang out with various people and it all happens for a reason. I guess sometimes you have to visit the past and then move on versus living in the past and dwelling or letting the past continuously tap you on the shoulder.  It is like going on a weekend trip.  You visit, you look around, you experience things and then you go back to your reality.

Learning is an ongoing experience, we never stop learning whether we like or not regardless of age.  Well, perhaps on some level learning is choice or admitting there is something to learn is a process.  I was talking to a friend recently about a specific situation and I said I had nothing to learn from it.  The next day I was driving to work and realized there was something big I had been ignoring – kind of like an elephant in the room.  When you least expect it things can reveal themselves and teach you something new.  I would guess in a year or 5 years I will look back again and be amazed about what has changed in my life.  I tend to think things change in our life if we pay attention to signs and messages that lead to the lessons.  Some lessons are harder than others and some result in really positive things.

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog.

Filed Under: experience, healing, Life Lessons, Listening, motivation, thepageofaquarius, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , 1 Comment
November 13, 2013

Just Wait

Like it or not, things happen for a reason.  When you think you have all the answers, things can just turn around and surprise you.  I do have a habit of  jumping to my own conclusions here and there.  I can say I have been guilty of making assumptions to try to figure something out and drawing conclusions based on observation or partial information.

I like to have the answers to things even when I may be lacking detail or information.  It is far too easy to add my own pieces to a puzzle to create a full picture.  This ‘technique’ only leads to a puzzle full of odd holes and spaces and wrong assumptions.  It is sort of like drawing a map and then being blind folded half way through. The user of the map will likely end up lost since the path will only partially serve its purpose. There are times when my intuition helps me and instances when I ignore my intuition and results are usually varied.  It would behoove me to listen to my intuition as often as possible as it is a good internal map whatever the path I take in life.  I had two instances this week when I decided to listen to my intuition and the outcome was to my advantage.  I have two instances a few weeks back when I said, ‘this is my desired outcome’ and oddly, the outcome just recently played out just as I had hoped. I have one instance in which I ignored my intuition and about 6 hours later thought to myself, “I should have listened…”  I definitely had an AH HA moment.

My lessons are repeating themselves or maybe evolving.  Okay, repeating.  It is necessary to be patient even when it feels impossible to exercise patience.  Answers will come forward.  Information will surface.  Clarity will present itself.  The timeline may be short or long and it is likely outside reasonable control.  Sometimes it is better to sit back and observe instead of drawing conclusions.  Sometimes it is better to wait something out when waiting feels like the right thing to do, even if waiting is really tough to do.  Sometimes trying to figure out everything on your own is the wrong way and letting things come to fruition is the better way. Sometimes trusting your instincts is the only clear path to figuring out the answers you seek.

 

 

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October 26, 2013

That Clock Is Chasing Me!

Do you ever find your approach to organizing your week ends up being the approach you take for your weekend?  During the week, everything I do is according to what time I have to be somewhere, what time I have a conference call or a meeting, and by what time I hope to get to bed at night.  I need less of that on the weekend and get into such a routine of living by a schedule getting away from that on the weekend can be challenging.

I had to travel to Atlanta for work this week.  As I was on my way to the airport to fly home, I was sitting in traffic on 285W thinking living on a timetable can be exhausting.  I spent my day in meetings with an invisible clock looming over my head.  90 minute meeting with one group, 30 minutes for this person, can I afford to eat lunch, 5 minutes with this person and if I leave the office later than 2:30pm I might miss my flight.  I spend a lot of time mentally calculating the minutes as I rotate through meetings and whatnot so I can fit everything in.  As I was sitting in traffic, the clock was still looming.  It kept reminding me traffic was in the way of my perfectly timed return to the airport, rental car return, and the circus that is security at the airport. I was in such a rush I bought a late lunch in the terminal and found myself eating a chicken sandwich that I would probably normally throw out ( waste not want not, what?).  In retrospect, I think cafeteria food would have been better.  I was so hungry and felt I had no time to give thought to anything except getting to the gate.  When the plane finally boarded, I just inserted myself in the boarding line.  Normally my attitude is, everyone will get on the plane so who cares when I get on the plane.  Yesterday, I wanted to sit down so badly and disconnect my brain, I was one of those people who was ready to bum rush the plane.  Living the rat race life for sure.

I woke up this morning and revolted against myself.  My whole week involved a schedule that had nothing to do with me and only what I must do to do my job.  It was wholly exhausting and time consuming.  Usually I push myself out of bed on a Saturday morning to get things done.  Today I stayed in bed till 10:00am because I decided who cares what I need to get done, bed is better.  I resolved to do nothing today requiring an agenda and decided to ignore the clock and my nagging pragmatic self.  What difference does it make if I do not get “stuff” done?  I did, however, decide to do things I have wanted to do all week versus needed to do.  A day of, “oh this is what I WANT to do right now.  Now I WANT to do this.”  Instead of “I need to get this, that, and the other thing done and how do I find the time.”  What I want to do takes very little effort; often anything I need to do is a chore so I opted for “want to do” today.  I find the days when I can ignore the clock that normally chases me to be much more relaxing and perhaps even more productive.  My brain certainly seems to be bouncing around less than it was and the numbing feeling that is created by keeping on top of everything has subsided.  (Maybe numb brain is only unique to me when the brain is on overload; however, I really feel like my brain is frozen sometimes).

I often say my brain is just going to quit on me or move out and find a new home.  I run it ragged.  I am sure many people have the same problem.  My brain must feel like it runs an ultra-marathon every day.  Recently one of my friends said she wishes her brain worked like mine because it is always “working” on something.  Funny thing is, I laughed at that statement and told her my brain is exhausting.  I am not sure if it is enviable!  I suppose it is just another reminder that I have to hit the stop button sometimes and just be less regimented. Do what I want and do what I enjoy; instead of requiring myself to meet timelines or to do things in a specific way every day of the week.  I always try to remind myself: if the words should or have to are part of my day, I am probably doing something as a result of some obligation or requirement either placed upon me by my own doing or something else’s.  I prefer ‘I want to’ because it usually proves to be energizing versus tiring.  And even when ‘I want to’ is tiring, it is usually satisfying and positive.

That said, I want to stop writing now because I want to go to the gym.  I have one place I am going later today that requires adherence to a schedule – the movies.  I can live with that!  Thank you for reading this blog!

 

Filed Under: balancing act, Life Lessons, perspective, power, practice, thepageofaquarius, time Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment
October 15, 2013

How To Not Be An Adult

What to write. What to write.  That keeps happening to me.  What to write.  I have ideas and nothing seems compelling to me.  In fact, I have started a few things and returned a day later and found what I wrote was less than inspiring to me!  I have a hard time posting something unless I feel it is “right”.  I guess I am having a lot of that right now.  I have been working hard on designing a new project and am finding graphic/creative design is quite challenging.  I think I need to go watch some episodes of The Magic Garden or Reading Rainbow to regenerate the imaginative part of my brain.  It may sound odd but when I was a kid I never ran into any creative blocks and wonder when that started to happen to me.  I used to write and illustrate stories, paint, and draw whenever I had a chance.  I used to doodle on everything and I made cards for people and decorated letters I wrote. When I was younger I spent so much time using my imagination and doing things that were creative outlets – why back then did I lack the cognizance to keep that going?  I even used to read books and then imagine what it would be like to fly or to read minds because I found the stories other people created so interesting.

I had a paper route when I was in elementary school and as I rode around the neighborhood flinging papers, I would occupy my time imagining what it would it be like to create a machine that would produce any food item you wanted.  I delivered papers around dinnertime so my stomach was usually grumbling and I consistently started with orange soda and chocolate mousse as the first creations from this machine (I still live by dessert first, less keen on orange soda).  I remember thinking Future World in Epcot Center was the coolest thing I had ever seen because the futuristic displays were unlike anything I had ever seen.  I even wrote a book about it for my 4th grade class – I have to go dig that up because I know it is in a box somewhere.  It is really interesting to reflect on how I used my brain as a kid and how I use my brain today.  I still love food and I love to read about food and even find cooking to be a very therapeutic activity when my brain needs a rest..from me.  I was thinking I need to be more creative but the creativity is probably already there, it just needs to be unclogged, further.  I say further because I have gotten to a certain point and now I need something new to open up in the pathways of my brain to help my vision for my project and other things to come.

I am sure not all people lose the creative imagination we develop as children, though I wonder how we lose it or stuff it away in a box or drawer of our mind?  It is almost a shame because as I sit here, I wonder how corporate America, the government, education, all the foundational elements of society would be different if everyone had a teaspoon of sparkly stuff or elements of childlike wonder in every day activities.  Mandate: every person must take 10 minutes out of their day to sit in childlike wonder.  Take out your colorful pencils or model trains or look up in the sky.  Perhaps everything would be less serious and also covered in bright colors? Or maybe there would be more amazing, new ideas brought to light.  I have two 1 year old nephews and you can see their wonder in everything they do.  One loves airplanes and when he hears an airplane above, everything stops, and he strains his neck to see it.  It is awesome to watch.  To me, that is chidlike wonder that many of us take for granted.  The other nephew is an explorer, he likes to stand on top of tables and run around because everything is an adventure to him.  I hope from today forward they keep their sense of wonder and adventure as I know I will do my best to encourage it.  When they are my age, my hope is they will have all those creative pathways open in their minds and have ways to use them; unlike their Aunt who is working to find the keys to doors to all those pathways that somehow were shut along the way.

I may go find this book that my Mom had when I was growing up, How To Eat Like a Child.  I never appreciated the irony of it till now, sitting here typing.  It is about revisiting the joys and ploys of childhood.  A guide for adults!  As an aside, I was listening to an NPR interview with Delia Ephron this morning and low and behold this book came to mind just now and she is the author. An odd coincidence. Ok I digress.

Out of the blue I have finally written a blog post that feels right after several attempts in the last few days.  Pathway open though we will see about creative design ideas.

Thank you for reading my blog!

Words of Wisdom - Hand-Cut Silhouette Papercut

Filed Under: passion, thepageofaquarius, vision Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment
October 10, 2013

The Good Apple

One of my friends stopped by to visit after work last Friday. It was such a nice surprise I must say. It was something outside my usual Friday night routine and it was a fun distraction after a less than entertaining work week. It reminded me of a few things: 1. Remember the little things are often the best things 2. Show gratitude and appreciation for the little things delivered by someone else 3. Be grateful for the reminders we are given to appreciate the little things.

It is always nice to spend time with a friend and wonder where the time went while talking and listening. This is something I appreciate about a good conversation and find it to be a gift in of itself.  I have never been a person to have a myriad of superficial friends; rather, I have always been the type to have a group of close friends.  I remember thinking about my friendships when I was about 9 years old. Even at that age, though I was friendly with many people, I could see the difference in my friendships. There were people who more or less flitted around like butterflies and people who were like “pillars” as far as connections with friends go. Everyone needs those pillars, the people who will stand around, next you, behind you, in front of you, or pick you up when you need support. The people you can always count on, who believe in you, and will tell you the truth when you need to hear it (even if you do not want to hear it). I always value honesty as I always prefer to hear what will help me or what will give me reason to pause and think differently.  I can often tell when someone is saying what they think I want to hear and that just never works for me.  The quality and type of people in your life can be really important. Who you choose to have around you can be very telling and can help you or hurt you or teach you.

(No one is perfect.  Perfect is like beauty – in the eye of the beholder.  Just needed a little disclaimer before continuing on)

I was recently discussing some perplexing behavior demonstrated by someone I know with a friend of mine. She is often my voice of reason when I am confused or need clarity about something.  After explaining a few things, she said, “Sometimes you just pick the wrong friends.” I actually laughed out loud because she is probably right.  I tend to overlook other people’s agenda when I see good qualities in a person. I am learning sometimes a good apple can have some bruised, mushy parts under the skin and sometimes, that apple needs to go back in the pile.

When push comes to shove, you (should) know who your friends are when a need truly arises. The same friend (mentioned a few sentences ago) always says I contact her when she needs to hear from me. I can only say on those occasions, I have found myself thinking I should contact her and did so because I tend to think when someone pops to mind, there is a reason. Have you ever been thinking about someone, reached out to them and received the a reply like, “I am so happy to hear from you! I have been thinking about you all week!” Have you ever met someone and felt like you have know that person all your life?  People do share intangible connections and the people with whom you have connections always rise to the surface or show up when you need them most.

 

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September 21, 2013

Are The Right People Around You?

Building upon an idea requires the right people to provide support or to add insight .  My vision is fuzzy when it comes to visualizing color and creative interpretation.  I am working on a blog makeover and when I made the decision to do this, I felt like I was standing in a strange city without a map or GPS.  I was unsure of how to approach my vision.  On a whim, I reached out to someone I found online who has a side business of creative design for blogs and websites.  When I shared my vision, she replied with some abstract ideas that I loved.You know you have found the right person when you see their suggestions and say, “WOW! I love this!”  I can be a very literal person and while I can do many things, envisioning a creative or artistic design is difficult for me.  I can describe what I want and convey what inspires me but bringing that together into a picture can be tedious!  I need someone who can help me interpret my vision or show how colors or patterns can be complementary.

My strengths lie in areas that are less artsy and more logical.  I can envision ideas on a practical level and come up with concepts. When it comes to colors, coordination and aesthetics, it is a struggle.  I knew I had to find someone who could help me with my blog idea.  There are some things just better left to people have skill sets that are different than mine.  Plus, I really have little interest in doing creative design or blog design and much prefer the surprise of someone else’s interpretation and ability to run with a vision or an idea.  Ask me how to solve a problem, I can probably come up with a solution.  Ask me to pick out fabrics or patterns or colors for anything and you may see a blank look on my face.

It brings me to the idea of understanding your “power”.  What are the tools you have intuitively and naturally that you can share with someone else to help them along whatever path they are on?  What do you hold in your hands (figuratively) that you can work with and use that may be stifled or collecting dust?  We all have something and it can vary from ability to fix things to baking cakes to interior design to writing. Recognizing what you do well is really important.  Recognizing where it would be helpful to hire help or to have someone pitch in is always will serve anyone better.  It comes down to knowing your strengths and capitalizing and knowing your weaknesses and accepting them.  It takes so much more effort to try to make a weakness a strength and so little effort to ask someone if they can help when it would be most beneficial. For example, I have a friend who may as well be a professional shopper/stylist.  She has taught me how to incorporate colors and style into my wardrobe in ways that I can repeat on my own.  However, every now and then, I need her assistance shopping because she has a eye for fashion and I do the best I can.  When you ask for help or hire someone, make sure you have people who are excellent at what they do and make sure you choose people who will show up. Consistent. Reliable. Trustworthy. Objective. Present. Supportive. These are the words that come to mind for me when I think of who I want to working with me.  It is important to gather the right people to support your vision else you may find things slow down or do not turn out as you envision.  If you are lacking what you need in the people around you, make a change.  If you find yourself going to a person who understands your vision or can give you helpful objective or even actionable feedback or advice, then you have the right person. Know when to run with what or who you have and know when to bring someone new on board and to make a change to benefit your path.

Filed Under: Believe, direction, experience, Inspiration, intuition, perspective, power, success, thepageofaquarius, vision, Words Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment
September 16, 2013

Self-Doubt Chirping

Working past self doubt is a challenge.  I have this plan for a new blog.  I will be running two, actually.  You are reading my skirt and high heels blog (in need of a make over).  My new blog will be my running shoes and kick up my feet blog.  I am working on a plan to invest money into the appearance and the design of both of my creations versus my usual method of throw the spaghetti up on the wall.  I guess it could be called an investment in my future in spite of the little voice in my head saying, “the future of what?”  Thank you Self-Doubt for chiming in and trying to squish my idea, is all I have to say about that.  This is one of those things that came to me and I felt like running with it; yet Self-Doubt chirps away.

Someone recently observed I fear things and I probably have no idea what it is I am afraid of.  I found that to be a fair assessment as the unknown is a source of fear for me and something about the unknown rattles my confidence.  I have no idea what the unknown holds and that is my own obstacle.  Who cares what the unknown holds?  I am reminding myself to shape the unknown as I want it to be and to allow changes and shifts as things reveal themselves.  I have to remind myself to just take a little leap of faith every now and then, as there is really nothing to lose in pursuing an idea.   I need to focus on what I want to do now and how I want the “now” to unfold.  Self-Doubt needs a mute button.

Taking an idea and allowing it to come to fruition can be a revealing way to let others see your point of view or perspective and to hear your voice (literally or figuratively).  You may learn something new about yourself and others may learn something new about you.  In my case, Self-Doubt can be an annoyance and an idea stopper.   Self-Doubt feeds fear…or does fear feed Self-Doubt?  Chicken or the egg?  Needless to say, the combination can be the source of self imposed obstacles that can stop creativity or progress in its tracks, if allowed.  I suppose it is  natural to hear the chirping of Self-Doubt in any venture or process and it is a lesson in will, I think.  Mute Self-Doubt and carry on.

Filed Under: Believe, business, direction, Go with the flow, Inspiration, motivation, perspective, Purpose, successful venture, thepageofaquarius Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment
September 10, 2013

Trust In What You Know

Inspiration comes in funny ways.  New ideas come to mind at the most random times.  I was working out on Sunday morning and it was a painful workout. I was tired and wanted coffee.  My favorite protein pancakes and an iced latte were on the menu once I got myself out of the gym so I had my inspiration.  Whatever it takes! Sometimes self motivation is simply not enough to get me through my workout!  Pancakes. Coffee. Pancakes. Coffee. Pancakes.  This is what was on my mind as I did mountain climbers and push ups and all of the things in my Sunday morning workout .  While going through my circuits, I started to think about more than just pancakes.  I started to think through various things I have been researching (like protein pancakes) and came up with a new blog idea during tricep dips.  The idea stuck with me so I started to really think it through.  On Sunday night, I sent my idea to my sounding board, aka my brother, and now it is a work in progress.

I am learning to let ideas flourish because it is better let creativity wander than discount an idea as silly or unimportant.  It is a lesson for me.   I have a tendency to think for a long time before doing some things.  Too much thinking opens the door for self doubt.  This causes me to minimize ideas when I find myself with something that takes me outside my comfort zone.  In this case, I came up with my idea and started to work on it that night.  Progress!  I took my inspiration and started to let my brain do its thing in a productive manner.  Some times it is better to work on the What and worry less about the How and trust in what you know.

Filed Under: direction, Go with the flow, Inspiration, Life Lessons, Listening, motivation, thepageofaquarius Tagged With: , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
September 4, 2013

Gratitude Is Easy

Back to work.  The day after Labor Day is always a bit deflating.  The end of summer is near which means bulky coats, boots and dark mornings and evenings are looming.  The end of last week also involved a rather unpleasant client meeting.  Unpleasant as in awkward silences and uncomfortable explanations about a deliverable.  As I started my drive to the same client location this morning, I was cringing a bit.  I am the face to the client so they look to me for answers and explanations and to listen to their pain points. When I am on the spot, honesty is my only route.  I learned early in my years in Corporate America to avoid taking things personally and to be composed no matter how the client is addressing me.  After an unpleasant meeting I always feel weird going back to the client.

As I was waiting in the lobby I was checking Instagram and Twitter, as I always do when I am just waiting.  It is always interesting to see what words of wisdom others are posting.  One person posted a picture of her journal and indicated she writes the things for which she is grateful as a daily practice.  Another posted that she makes note of the good things that happen to her each day before she goes to bed. And another posted her advice to thank yourself when something goes well. After last week, I decided to try to remember the good things at the conclusion of my all day client visit.

Fast forward to 11am when I sat down with one my key client contacts.  She has a daughter my age so it is hard to get anything past her.  She uses mother’s intuition with me so it is futile to think anything will go unnoticed. She started by saying, “I wanted to talk to you about last week’s meeting and how you conducted yourself.”  I cringed in my chair as I waited to hear what was next as I really had no idea how I was perceived by the client after a rigmarole of a conference call.  She said, “Some of the people on the phone were being unreasonable.  You were poised and you listened and your responses were very thoughtful and reflective of the fact that you were listening to what was said.  We appreciated that you were willing volunteered to go to the executive meeting to explain the circumstances.  You did an excellent job given the awkward circumstances and awkward silences.”  WHEW!  I was so relieved and so grateful to receive a compliment from a customer.  I pride myself in advocating for my clients and giving them honest answers and understanding in my interactions.  Most often, when working as a service provider, compliments are few and far between as clients often speak up when displeased.  My client also said, “You either enjoy the abuse (jokingly) or you have learned to take nothing personally.”  To which I replied (in short), “It is business, nothing is personal here and I learned that a lesson many years ago.”  WHEW!  It turned my day around to hear my client validate that I did the right thing and approached business concerns in the right way.  I am fairly confident in my ability, however, hearing how someone perceives me is helpful and enlightening.  I decided to chalk that up to a good thing that happened to me today.

My takeaway is to show gratitude.  It is easy and often effortless.  Always thank the people who do good work.  I tend to thank people in any service capacity because I have had several different jobs in my life.  It is very easy to show gratitude and appreciation when someone works behind a counter or over the telephone.  I find many people forget to do this .  I send notes to senior management when some goes above and beyond.  I have been known to pull over on the side of the road to thank utility workers.  Every day for the last 4 the staff at Starbucks has gotten my drink wrong.  I suspect a lot of people would get annoyed,  however, I just asked them to correct it and thanked the barista for doing so.  I see how hard the baristas work during a rush and no one is intentionally giving me the wrong coffee concoction.  Say thank you to the people who provide service as they deserve to be acknowledged and they deserve to know their work is appreciated.  If you are a regular, introduce yourself and learn the names of the people who prepare your coffee or wait on your table or do your pedicure.  I find it it usually leads to better service and a more positive experience for all parties involved.

Filed Under: blog, business, compassion, corporate america, empathy, experience, Life Lessons, Listening, perspective, practice, thepageofaquarius Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment
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