That Clock Is Chasing Me!

Do you ever find your approach to organizing your week ends up being the approach you take for your weekend?  During the week, everything I do is according to what time I have to be somewhere, what time I have a conference call or a meeting, and by what time I hope to get to bed at night.  I need less of that on the weekend and get into such a routine of living by a schedule getting away from that on the weekend can be challenging.

I had to travel to Atlanta for work this week.  As I was on my way to the airport to fly home, I was sitting in traffic on 285W thinking living on a timetable can be exhausting.  I spent my day in meetings with an invisible clock looming over my head.  90 minute meeting with one group, 30 minutes for this person, can I afford to eat lunch, 5 minutes with this person and if I leave the office later than 2:30pm I might miss my flight.  I spend a lot of time mentally calculating the minutes as I rotate through meetings and whatnot so I can fit everything in.  As I was sitting in traffic, the clock was still looming.  It kept reminding me traffic was in the way of my perfectly timed return to the airport, rental car return, and the circus that is security at the airport. I was in such a rush I bought a late lunch in the terminal and found myself eating a chicken sandwich that I would probably normally throw out ( waste not want not, what?).  In retrospect, I think cafeteria food would have been better.  I was so hungry and felt I had no time to give thought to anything except getting to the gate.  When the plane finally boarded, I just inserted myself in the boarding line.  Normally my attitude is, everyone will get on the plane so who cares when I get on the plane.  Yesterday, I wanted to sit down so badly and disconnect my brain, I was one of those people who was ready to bum rush the plane.  Living the rat race life for sure.

I woke up this morning and revolted against myself.  My whole week involved a schedule that had nothing to do with me and only what I must do to do my job.  It was wholly exhausting and time consuming.  Usually I push myself out of bed on a Saturday morning to get things done.  Today I stayed in bed till 10:00am because I decided who cares what I need to get done, bed is better.  I resolved to do nothing today requiring an agenda and decided to ignore the clock and my nagging pragmatic self.  What difference does it make if I do not get “stuff” done?  I did, however, decide to do things I have wanted to do all week versus needed to do.  A day of, “oh this is what I WANT to do right now.  Now I WANT to do this.”  Instead of “I need to get this, that, and the other thing done and how do I find the time.”  What I want to do takes very little effort; often anything I need to do is a chore so I opted for “want to do” today.  I find the days when I can ignore the clock that normally chases me to be much more relaxing and perhaps even more productive.  My brain certainly seems to be bouncing around less than it was and the numbing feeling that is created by keeping on top of everything has subsided.  (Maybe numb brain is only unique to me when the brain is on overload; however, I really feel like my brain is frozen sometimes).

I often say my brain is just going to quit on me or move out and find a new home.  I run it ragged.  I am sure many people have the same problem.  My brain must feel like it runs an ultra-marathon every day.  Recently one of my friends said she wishes her brain worked like mine because it is always “working” on something.  Funny thing is, I laughed at that statement and told her my brain is exhausting.  I am not sure if it is enviable!  I suppose it is just another reminder that I have to hit the stop button sometimes and just be less regimented. Do what I want and do what I enjoy; instead of requiring myself to meet timelines or to do things in a specific way every day of the week.  I always try to remind myself: if the words should or have to are part of my day, I am probably doing something as a result of some obligation or requirement either placed upon me by my own doing or something else’s.  I prefer ‘I want to’ because it usually proves to be energizing versus tiring.  And even when ‘I want to’ is tiring, it is usually satisfying and positive.

That said, I want to stop writing now because I want to go to the gym.  I have one place I am going later today that requires adherence to a schedule – the movies.  I can live with that!  Thank you for reading this blog!

 

Choose Your Team Wisely

If you were starting a new business, who would you discuss it with?  I believe anyone embarking on a new venture needs moral support and someone to help them along when they lose faith in the opportunity at hand; even more so when a person feels like they have lost it for feeling so passionate or believing in something that requires planning and effort.  The belief in the unknown can be intimidating while passion is very motivating.  It is such a human thing to believe you are on the right path  and a day later feel as those you have lost your mind or become enveloped in self doubt.

Who believes in you?  My question is intended to generate constructive thought and “no one” is an unacceptable answer.  Who in your life stands by you and believes in who you are and what you can do?  When I believe in someone I can believe in their ideas and what they wish to accomplish.  I have no explanation as to why those two things go hand in hand.  If I believe in you, I can support you and if it appears you need to rethink something I will share that with you.  I can think of many friends who have business ideas either in progress, on the radar, or in their heads.  I find it most interesting how contagious a person’s passion can be for something they believe in.  Passion is contagious and it has taught me that every person needs their own cheerleader or coach or a phantom teammate.  Someone who will listen to ideas or provide encouragement or help one see the forest from the trees.  A silent teammate is what it feels like to me.  I am on your team while you lead the way and see things through. I am on the bench waiting to help out when called upon.  I definitely play this role for some of my friends.  One of my friends is working on two different business plans.  A rodeo comes to mind when I think of all she is trying to do.  She has a lot coming at her.  When she falls off the bucking bronco someone knocks her off the horse, I run into the ring, put her back on the horse and tell her to hold tight because she is doing exactly what she is meant to do.  I even pitch in sometimes with her business plan.  Now and then I get a message for help with ideas so I run back into the ring and I jump on the horse to help her redirect for a just a short while and run back to my seat on the bench. I have no idea why I am using a rodeo metaphor.  This person neither rides horses nor lives anywhere near a rodeo but it just seemed apropos as I wrote.

I feel anyone starting a venture of any kind needs someone to help keep them on track.  Sometimes we are so deep in the weeds, a reality check is helpful as the human mind can take us to negative places and create stress, worry and discouraging thoughts. The skeptics can weigh and derail goals and ideas which can be discouraging – that is why you need to look to your team.  Everyone needs a team to surround them whether it is a team of 1 or many, it is an important part of any venture.  We all need someone to help us to get back in the saddle and remove the blinders of doubt to refocus on what needs to be accomplished to reach goals and dreams.  Nothing is every easy and the people you choose as your team can make a world of difference when it comes to encouragement and moral support.

Time and Time Again

cTime goes by and things may stay the same or things may change.  Time does many things whether we are consciously aware of it or not.  I started to think about this after a short visit by friends whom I have not seen in about 5 years. They live out of state and decided to pop in on me this morning and though brief it was so nice to see them again.  Time goes by yet preserves the bonds and connections we create with people we meet. I say this as I feel it is a common human experience to reconnect with someone and think or say, “Though so much time has passed, it feels like I saw you yesterday!”  Time puts human connection on hold and lets us pick up where we left off, if we so choose.

Throughout life we encounter painful experiences that can be difficult to understand or comprehend.  Life is full of good things which can be easy to embrace and unpleasantness that can be painful or unsettling.  Sometimes I can only think of one thing to say when someone is struggling, “time is a great healer”. It carries much truth in my opinion.  Though I take no credit for this idiom, I know there have been situations for which time has been the healing factor to help me.  It is with time that we begin to settle in and understand the things that might be hard to process in a specific moment or given period of time.  I know I have heard, “give it a little time, you will begin to feel better.”  Time has some sort of medicinal quality whatever the hurt, upset, pain or maladie, whether physically and emotionally.  There are times when some things seem irreparable, however, given time, a person can learn to heal or forgive and move on from something that may have been quite powerful in a specific moment.  I do realize in some cases healing and forgiveness are easier than in others so I appreciate every situation is unique.  

Time is also a bit of a magician by way of  providing clarity, insight and perhaps perspective as the hours and days carry us away from a situation. I  have a friend who always says. “In time, the answers will eventually surface” or something along those lines.  I do believe this is true.  Have you ever been in a situation and the information at hand seems disjointed or unclear?   Yet whether it is days, weeks, months later, you receive the clarity or answers you wanted at an earlier time? If you let it do its thing, time will help reveal or unravel or shake out the information and results that may have been previously elusive  or hazy.   When the time is right, what we need to move forward, gain insight, start again or find closure will surface.  All in a matter of time.