February 5, 2014

Make It YOUR Birthday

The little things in life go a long way.  It really is true.  I usually try to take the day off on my birthday and this year I had to work.  Client meetings from 8:30am-4:30pm.  I was grumbling to myself about it all day yesterday as I really prefer to do what I want to do on my birthday.  However, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.  I woke up this morning less grumbly and decided I better find a way to take birthday on the road.  I did not plan ahead so did not have a special lunch to make or a cupcake to take to work so needed a plan B. I never open birthday cards or gifts before my birthday, so I gathered up the cards I received in the mail and put them in my laptop bag.  I figured I would bring my birthday to work even if I had to attend client meetings all day.

It was actually quite an enjoyable treat to read birthday cards between meetings throughout the day!  My friend from California sent me a card with a letter enclosed which was a nice surprise (handwriting – how novel!).  My uncle sent me a very funny card.  My Mom sent me cards full of various commentary and doodles of things (as she usually does).  My friend from Chicago sent me her usual classy card with her kind words…and so on.  It is just really nice to be remembered and acknowledged on my birthday. I cannot lie!  It was a nice change to carry my birthday wishes in my bag. I came out of meeting and opened a card.  I was on a pretty uneventful conference call and opened another card. Rationed birthday cards go a long way.

I  heard from so many of my friends all throughout the day.  I think the birthday wish from Mumbai traveled the furthest (via text) and the message from my next door neighbor the shortest distance.  Wherever you are and whomever you hear from, birthdays are fun.  I find it funny when someone says, “Oh I do not care about my birthday.”  Or something along those lines.  I find that really hard to believe under normal circumstances.  Even the crabbiest person has to smile on their birthday!  It is totally awesome (yeah I said it like that) when someone you have not heard from in awhile or someone you hear from every day remembers your birthday.  A few of my friends sent me email messages instead of text or social media wishes so I just finished replying to those emails.  My brother tried to get my 19 month old nephew to say Happy Birthday Alexis.  I think he was confused as to how to make his face and mouth form those words!  Nephew videos are pretty awesome nonetheless.

I guess I really look at my birthday as a “I wonder what surprises will pop up today” kind of day. Whatever happens on my birthday or around my birthday makes me happy (except for back to back meetings all day long = less exciting). I am actually surprised on my birthday more often than not. Friends, flowers, cards, balloons, messages.  I went out for Greek food for dinner with one my friends who is half Greek.  We have been talking about going to an authentic Greek restaurant for awhile (usually while eating sushi). It was such a great meal, no idea why has it taken me so long to try authentic Greek food! Baffling and fabulous. I guess taking it all in is the important part of a birthday celebration.  If you can enjoy the moment and enjoy whatever comes your way, it will always be a great day.  A great birthday is a great start to a new year – it is just too bad it only happens once a year!

Thank you for reading this blog!

Filed Under: Go with the flow Tagged With: , , , , , , Leave a Comment
January 17, 2014

Just A Phase

I was talking to a colleague today about her hectic work schedule, her 5 kids, her lack of sleep and she said, “I just tell myself this is a phase of my life, like a season. I am going to enjoy it because the next phase will be very different.”  I told her when I need advice I will be calling her because I found her words to be very wise.  Every morning this week I have opened my eyes and the first thought has been, “Is this really my life?  Do I have to do this again today?”  Well as it happens, you find your answers in unexpected ways – in my case while talking to a colleague.  This is not my life, this is just a phase of my life albeit a consuming phase.  A time in which I am working crazy hours and feel like I am living and breathing work.  It is the phases of life that help build a fulfilling life.

I feel like in some ways I see changes in my life and in other ways I am just hovering in the same general vicinity.  I am trying to better manage my workload and my work schedule and I am finding that to be challenging.  That is kind of the same.  As I reflect on 2013 and think about the last few weeks, I am seeing more of the same at work in this new year. Hovering. We had a reorg and I have new boss.  It is really more of the same because nothing has really changed in my day to day. Change – sort of. I think I expected a reorg to bring a new and different angle but no matter how many reorgs come to my organization, we see more of the same. Ironically, I am really learning a lot through this hectic period at work.  And it is actually all okay, it just helps me understand why I wake up with the thoughts of, “This is my life?”  Other things around me are transforming, my friends for example.  Some of my friends have children and I hear from them less than in the past.  Unless they can get time free, away from family activities, time to visit can be difficult to schedule.  I am good with that because life evolves and it enjoyable to watch friends grow into motherhood.  I was talking to one of my friends today and we were discussing someone we know in common.  I said, “I just let people go at some point.  I get tired of people who take, take, take and bring emotional drama to the table and nothing else.  It is easier to just let those people go live in their drama.”  The person in question gloms on when she needs something or is having a teenage drama moment and is scarce until she needs something again. My friend agreed and said, “Wow that is a really good way to put it.”  My friendships are important to me and I am a very loyal person; however, sometimes it is just better to untie and set sail in another direction. Ironically, after that conversation, I ran into a new friend of mine in the grocery and was reminded there are always opportunities to make new friends.  Friendships change, people change, and new people come into your life to change things up.  New friends are a great change.

If life is about phases then I suppose we cannot always control when one phase ends and another begins.  If the phases help you build the life you want, there may be lessons to learn or experiences to go through before a phase can end.  You may have to wait for the right timing for the new phase to begin.  Further, if you try to force your way out of a phase, you may find yourself taking a wrong turn or you may find yourself hitting a wall.  One of my friends left my company a few years ago because he felt he could do better elsewhere.  3 years later, every time I hear from him, he wishes he had never left because leave may have been a change he should have waited to make versus jumping ship hastily.  As I think about phases, it is important to always take steps and go in new directions.  You may encounter new things instantly, you may have to demonstrate patience and hover for awhile.  I think of it like a garden and waiting for seedlings to sprout from the earth.  It never happens overnight.  It takes time and work to plant the seeds, nurture the seeds and patience to see the fruits of your labor.  I suppose it is entirely possible while hovering at a point in life, we are actually nurturing the seedlings.  It seems reasonable to expect everything will come to full bloom in the next phase.  There may also be instances when it is necessary to look back to see the meaning of each phase of your life…which reminds me of a quote (no idea who said it), “Sometimes you have to look back to see what lies ahead.”  As you live your life, there may be things that are hard to decipher or make sense of, but in time, when you look at where you are and where you have been, it all may make perfect sense, as clear as the bright blue sky.  

Thank you for reading this blog!

 

Filed Under: Life Lessons Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment
November 28, 2013

Gratitude Is The Best

Gratitude is the best. I have been thinking about what it is to be grateful and how it feels to be grateful and what it feels like to receive gratitude. “Gratitude is the best” is the phrase that keep popping into my head. Now Thanksgiving is tomorrow so it would seem logical that my thoughts about gratitude coincide with Turkey Day; however, timing is coincidence.  I was actually thinking about what intangible things make people happy and gratitude kept coming to mind.  Is it possible to feel anything but warm and fuzzy after saying thank you as a result a kind, polite, selfless or generous gesture? You are reminded of a kind gesture when you give thanks and the other person’s kindness is acknowledged. I have been unable to think of a situation when an expression of gratitude results is something other than a positive outcome or feeling.  Saying thank you is effortless and it shows appreciation and is easy to do.  It is rewarding, courteous, thoughtful, appreciated, welcomed, valuable and positive.  I think gratitude can be a win win for all parties involved.

When I was in my first month of college as a freshman, I received a package from my friend Darah. It was a big tin of homemade chocolate chip cookies with a colorful handwritten sign of encouragement.  Kind of like those that we used to create for each other to decorate lockers before tennis matches, basketball games and lacrosse games. I thought it odd that she forgot to sign her name and there was no return address on the package but recognized the handwriting as Darah’s, or so I thought (I did send a thank you note, since I am writing about gratitude).  Fast forward to Christmas break when I  saw my friend Jen.  I told her about the special delivery of cookies I had received from Darah a couple months back.  Jen look at me with disappointment and surprise.  She said, “Those cookies were from me!!  I thought you never received them because you never mentioned them!” Oh awkward!  I sort felt like a dolt and I am sure Darah found my thank you note perplexing since she knew nothing of cookies! My gratitude had good intention behind it but had been misplaced! Jen has likely forgotten the cookie scandal after all these years but I have to stored in my brain as it was a lesson for me.  Of the many things in life to get right, knowing where and when to show gratitude is very high on the list!  Thank you can be very meaningful to the giver or doer as these two words tend to produce positive results.   It is one of the easiest ways to put a smile on someone’s face, in my opinion.  Who does not smile when they say ‘you’re welcome’ or ‘it was my pleasure’?

My mother taught my brothers and I from a young age to write thank you notes so it is just something we all do.  It is always funny (not funny ha ha) when someone says, ‘Thank you for your note, it is so nice to receive a handwritten letter.’ In this day in age, we do some many things with technology that an email or a text message may lack the same meaning as something handwritten.  There is much to be said for taking the time to sit down with pen and paper write your thanks after someone has taken the time to do something kind, polite, selfless or generous.  On the flip side, there will be things for which we never receive thanks because they are done with good intention and the anticipation of gratitude.  I was in the mall recently and walked by the children’s wish tree.  I thoroughly enjoy helping a child see their Christmas wish come true so I selected the tag for a girl who was hoping for an Easy Bake Oven.  I always wanted one (who didn’t) and know how exciting it is to open the thing you want most on Christmas Day (excluding any live animals like puppies or ponies – not good gifts).  I will never meet this young girl and she will never know who secured that pink and purple Easy Bake Oven but it is enough for me to know it will make someone happy.  Indirect or anticipated gratitude is good enough for me.

Consider those things for which you are thankful as often as you can, not just with turkey and mashed potatoes.  Go out of your way to thank someone when thanks are appropriate – it goes a long way. Be thankful for the intangible and the tangible things, the people in your life, opportunities, your latte.  If you send someone a message right now and say, “Thank you for being my friend” – you might just make someone’s day.

Thank you for reading this blog!

Filed Under: gratitude, Life Lessons, thepageofaquarius Tagged With: , , , , , , Leave a Comment
October 28, 2013

Liebster Award

A Liebster Award

I was so surprised when my friend Carissa reached out to tell me that she was nominating this blog for a Liebster Award. It is a nice way to introduce others to new blogs and writers and it is so nice to know someone reads my blog.  In my eyes, new can be new to you and me or brand new to to everyone.  Everyone has a point of view to share so discovering a new blog usually means learning something new.

Carissa and I became friends in college through friends we still have in common today.  We ended up in the same study abroad program and she proved to be a true friend when I needed one and a fun, adventurous travel companion.  She can probably do a far better job of a telling a story about a crack of dawn train ride through Austria during which there would be no sleeping in our train car.  I decided to keep her awake blabbing about something on my mind…about which I now have no recollection.

Anyway, Carissa is a talented writer with rich stories to tell about life and her adventures with friends, family and her four fabulous children.  She is a regular writer for the Huffington Post which I feel is incredibly impressive since she is an example of: you never know where a creative venture can take you.  This is just the beginning for her so let’s see where she is in 5 years.   Here is a link to her blog  http://www.carissak.com/ and here is a link to her Huffington Post column http://www.huffingtonpost.com/carissa-k/.  She is officially a published online writer – how cool is that?

That said, with the nomination came questions she asked me to answer:

What inspired you to start blogging?

During most work days, my brother and I are in contact via Google Talk.  I could not really tell you what we chat about but I can say, there were many times when he would say, “You should blog about that.”  I was unsure about the blog thing and he set me up with access to Word Press, told me to start writing, and eventually I did.  Though I was unsure what the theme would be and started out with nothing in terms of a design, I figured my brother would read my blog and one reader is a good start!


How about a round of Rose and Thorn?  What was the best part of your past week, and what was the worst?
The best part of my past week getting off the plane in Atlanta, GA and deciding I would pretend I was on vacation while in there though I was really there for business.  I figured I better make a game of it since I really had no interest in being there.  I started out with a Pinkberry frozen yogurt as I walked to my red VW Jetta rental car.  When I checked in at the hotel (somewhere I had never previously stayed) I was told I received an upgrade to a 900 sq ft luxury suite that was like a high rise apartment.  It was like being on the vacation rather than imagining I was on vacation!  I had a concierge, a living room, dining room and a view of Buckhead and downtown Atlanta.  It was a nice surprise for an otherwise ordinary business trip.  The worst part of me week last week was the end of the movie Gravity – the new Sandra Bullock/George Clooney flick.  The last 2 minutes of the movie were over the top and kind of silly in my opinion.
How is the way you grew up playing a role in your current adventures?
My current adventures are encouraging me to rediscover my creative side.  Up until about the age of 12, I did all things creative and artistic.  I went to yoga while at Montessori School.  I painted, wrote “books”, I  doodled and drew and had drawing pads and coloring books, I loved art class. I learned to bake and to knit.  I used my imagination to pass the time quite often.  Somewhere along the lines, I lost that and I often wonder where I would be today had I kept developing that side of me versus sending the creative me off to hibernation.  My blog and other things have made me rediscover creativity and it is a valuable escape from day to day life.  Who knows how I will use creativity in the future.
What was the last book that you read?
The last book I read is:  The Game of Life and How To Play It by Florence Scovel Shinn.  It was written in 1925.  Someone recommended it to me and found it interesting because the power of positive thinking has been around for a long, long time!
What do you collect?
I seem to be collecting LuLu Lemon workout gear.  If LuLu Lemon had clothing that were appropriate for the corporate environment, I would buy it.  Alas, it is best for the gym and working from  home.
If you could take a cross country road trip, who would you invite to join you and why?
Well, this is a difficult question for me because I can think of several people with whom I would make this trek.  I might stuff my entire family into an RV and see if we make to the the other side of the country without trying to toss one another out of the RV onto the side of the road.  Plus it is something my Dad has always wanted to do and my Mom might protest and would be glad she did in the end.  I might also take 3 of my college friends on a road trip because it would be the closest I could get to all of us living in the same town/city again.  Lastly, my friends who are twin sisters.  We went on a trip together a few years ago and I declared myself a triplet because we had such a great time together.  And we look so much alike – me blonde, blue eyed and they are brunette, brown eyes.
What is your guilty pleasure?
Definitely the caramel sauce drizzled on top of my latte at Starbucks.  I have been known to lick it off the top if it gets stuck on there.  I also like watching Grey’s Anatomy and the Long Island Medium when I want to disconnect my brain from reality.  Also Pinkberry frozen yogurt right next to gate A9 in Hartsfield Jackson Atlanta International Airport.
=================================================================================
I am supposed to nominate another blog friend for this award but I do not really have any “blog friends” other than Carissa.  I will share other blogs I read often because with an open mind, you can often learn something from others:
http://nicoleandtheangels.com/blog-2/   A blog written by a very talented spiritual guide to anyone who needs something other than the usual day to day.
http://ohhappyday.com/ a blog inspired by colorful, creative party planning and design ideas and DIY party projects.  Anything called Oh Happy Day is worth reading in my opinion.
http://pinchofyum.com/ a food lover started this blog.  Her photos will make you want to eat pancakes or any other recipe featured.
http://www.sherocksfitnesstx.com/ DIY workouts for a good butt kicking and a down to earth read about food and life in general.  I have learned some good things here.
http://www.yettas.com/ a photo a day by a photographer who I feel produces very good work and also my brother (nevermind any bias) and a member of my personal advisory board.
There are many more blogs I really like and visit often – I suppose going back to the what do I collect question – I collect blogs. Perhaps I need to start a blog roll on this site as many people have very interesting content and perspectives.
Thank you for reading this blog and the blogs of others!
Filed Under: art form, Believe, blog, Inspiration, motivation, passion, perspective, potential Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
October 26, 2013

That Clock Is Chasing Me!

Do you ever find your approach to organizing your week ends up being the approach you take for your weekend?  During the week, everything I do is according to what time I have to be somewhere, what time I have a conference call or a meeting, and by what time I hope to get to bed at night.  I need less of that on the weekend and get into such a routine of living by a schedule getting away from that on the weekend can be challenging.

I had to travel to Atlanta for work this week.  As I was on my way to the airport to fly home, I was sitting in traffic on 285W thinking living on a timetable can be exhausting.  I spent my day in meetings with an invisible clock looming over my head.  90 minute meeting with one group, 30 minutes for this person, can I afford to eat lunch, 5 minutes with this person and if I leave the office later than 2:30pm I might miss my flight.  I spend a lot of time mentally calculating the minutes as I rotate through meetings and whatnot so I can fit everything in.  As I was sitting in traffic, the clock was still looming.  It kept reminding me traffic was in the way of my perfectly timed return to the airport, rental car return, and the circus that is security at the airport. I was in such a rush I bought a late lunch in the terminal and found myself eating a chicken sandwich that I would probably normally throw out ( waste not want not, what?).  In retrospect, I think cafeteria food would have been better.  I was so hungry and felt I had no time to give thought to anything except getting to the gate.  When the plane finally boarded, I just inserted myself in the boarding line.  Normally my attitude is, everyone will get on the plane so who cares when I get on the plane.  Yesterday, I wanted to sit down so badly and disconnect my brain, I was one of those people who was ready to bum rush the plane.  Living the rat race life for sure.

I woke up this morning and revolted against myself.  My whole week involved a schedule that had nothing to do with me and only what I must do to do my job.  It was wholly exhausting and time consuming.  Usually I push myself out of bed on a Saturday morning to get things done.  Today I stayed in bed till 10:00am because I decided who cares what I need to get done, bed is better.  I resolved to do nothing today requiring an agenda and decided to ignore the clock and my nagging pragmatic self.  What difference does it make if I do not get “stuff” done?  I did, however, decide to do things I have wanted to do all week versus needed to do.  A day of, “oh this is what I WANT to do right now.  Now I WANT to do this.”  Instead of “I need to get this, that, and the other thing done and how do I find the time.”  What I want to do takes very little effort; often anything I need to do is a chore so I opted for “want to do” today.  I find the days when I can ignore the clock that normally chases me to be much more relaxing and perhaps even more productive.  My brain certainly seems to be bouncing around less than it was and the numbing feeling that is created by keeping on top of everything has subsided.  (Maybe numb brain is only unique to me when the brain is on overload; however, I really feel like my brain is frozen sometimes).

I often say my brain is just going to quit on me or move out and find a new home.  I run it ragged.  I am sure many people have the same problem.  My brain must feel like it runs an ultra-marathon every day.  Recently one of my friends said she wishes her brain worked like mine because it is always “working” on something.  Funny thing is, I laughed at that statement and told her my brain is exhausting.  I am not sure if it is enviable!  I suppose it is just another reminder that I have to hit the stop button sometimes and just be less regimented. Do what I want and do what I enjoy; instead of requiring myself to meet timelines or to do things in a specific way every day of the week.  I always try to remind myself: if the words should or have to are part of my day, I am probably doing something as a result of some obligation or requirement either placed upon me by my own doing or something else’s.  I prefer ‘I want to’ because it usually proves to be energizing versus tiring.  And even when ‘I want to’ is tiring, it is usually satisfying and positive.

That said, I want to stop writing now because I want to go to the gym.  I have one place I am going later today that requires adherence to a schedule – the movies.  I can live with that!  Thank you for reading this blog!

 

Filed Under: balancing act, Life Lessons, perspective, power, practice, thepageofaquarius, time Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment
October 10, 2013

The Good Apple

One of my friends stopped by to visit after work last Friday. It was such a nice surprise I must say. It was something outside my usual Friday night routine and it was a fun distraction after a less than entertaining work week. It reminded me of a few things: 1. Remember the little things are often the best things 2. Show gratitude and appreciation for the little things delivered by someone else 3. Be grateful for the reminders we are given to appreciate the little things.

It is always nice to spend time with a friend and wonder where the time went while talking and listening. This is something I appreciate about a good conversation and find it to be a gift in of itself.  I have never been a person to have a myriad of superficial friends; rather, I have always been the type to have a group of close friends.  I remember thinking about my friendships when I was about 9 years old. Even at that age, though I was friendly with many people, I could see the difference in my friendships. There were people who more or less flitted around like butterflies and people who were like “pillars” as far as connections with friends go. Everyone needs those pillars, the people who will stand around, next you, behind you, in front of you, or pick you up when you need support. The people you can always count on, who believe in you, and will tell you the truth when you need to hear it (even if you do not want to hear it). I always value honesty as I always prefer to hear what will help me or what will give me reason to pause and think differently.  I can often tell when someone is saying what they think I want to hear and that just never works for me.  The quality and type of people in your life can be really important. Who you choose to have around you can be very telling and can help you or hurt you or teach you.

(No one is perfect.  Perfect is like beauty – in the eye of the beholder.  Just needed a little disclaimer before continuing on)

I was recently discussing some perplexing behavior demonstrated by someone I know with a friend of mine. She is often my voice of reason when I am confused or need clarity about something.  After explaining a few things, she said, “Sometimes you just pick the wrong friends.” I actually laughed out loud because she is probably right.  I tend to overlook other people’s agenda when I see good qualities in a person. I am learning sometimes a good apple can have some bruised, mushy parts under the skin and sometimes, that apple needs to go back in the pile.

When push comes to shove, you (should) know who your friends are when a need truly arises. The same friend (mentioned a few sentences ago) always says I contact her when she needs to hear from me. I can only say on those occasions, I have found myself thinking I should contact her and did so because I tend to think when someone pops to mind, there is a reason. Have you ever been thinking about someone, reached out to them and received the a reply like, “I am so happy to hear from you! I have been thinking about you all week!” Have you ever met someone and felt like you have know that person all your life?  People do share intangible connections and the people with whom you have connections always rise to the surface or show up when you need them most.

 

Filed Under: Life Lessons, Listening, perspective, thepageofaquarius Tagged With: , , , , Leave a Comment
July 8, 2013

Find The Common Thread

What do you have in common with the person sitting next to you?  I had an interesting conversation with two friends last night.  One was describing a situation she is dealing with at this time and my other friend and I were totally empathetic as we know exactly what she is going through.  We probably could have told her how her situation would play out before she shared most of the details.  The story will continue to play out and I came up with three possible endings, like a Choose Your Own Adventure story.  I would bet money on one of three possible scenarios as the final result, whenever it unfolds.

It struck me ironic that I was sitting at a table with two of my friends and ultimately we have or will have the same life experiences.  Now not all of our experiences are the same though we have known each other many years and have many things in common.  The specific topic of conversation prompted me to start thinking and writing.  It is amazing how different your life can be from someone else yet one single event involving sharing of stories can reveal commonalities, connections, and empathy.  It struck me funny that life can play out in similar ways regardless of who you are or where you are from.  It showed me how the microcosm in the restaurant last night is likely reflective of a much bigger picture related to human connection.  I suppose this revelation is hardly news to some; however, it really made me pause to think about empathy.  Empathy is necessary and vital to human connection and the evolution of human relationships.  To be able to relate to one another regardless of background, financial status, or location is extremely important.  If you can relate to someone, it means you know what it is like to walk in their shoes in your own pair of shoes.  If you are unable to relate based on specific experience, you are likely able to draw a parallel to some other experience in your life to feel empathy and compassion.  Granted there are times when it is really hard to relate to people.  If you meet someone with a sense of entitlement, it can be difficult to have empathy or compassion.  I deserve, I should have, I am in the center of the universe, how much can I get, etc types make it tough. However, in general, amongst the people around you, when you find a common thread that ties two or three or many people together, it is a revealing experience.  To be able to say, my experience was similar to yours, you are in good company and how can I help, is a really big thing.  It can lead to friendships, new perspective, new ideas or just the relief of knowing someone understands and can listen and be supportive.  I am sure we have all had an experience in life when we feel as if we are living in another dimension.  Talking to someone brings it all back around to normal and into perspective.

There are so many other things I can write about on this topic though it would lead me down too many different paths.  I will end this by saying, be aware of yourself and those around you.  Practice empathy and if you need guidance, start by typing “define empathy” in a Google search box.   It is a very important tool for all of us to use  and a skill can always be developed wherever life takes us.

Filed Under: compassion, Connection, consciously aware, empathy, experience, Google, Life Lessons, Listening, perspective, practice Tagged With: , , , , , Leave a Comment