November 13, 2013

Just Wait

Like it or not, things happen for a reason.  When you think you have all the answers, things can just turn around and surprise you.  I do have a habit of  jumping to my own conclusions here and there.  I can say I have been guilty of making assumptions to try to figure something out and drawing conclusions based on observation or partial information.

I like to have the answers to things even when I may be lacking detail or information.  It is far too easy to add my own pieces to a puzzle to create a full picture.  This ‘technique’ only leads to a puzzle full of odd holes and spaces and wrong assumptions.  It is sort of like drawing a map and then being blind folded half way through. The user of the map will likely end up lost since the path will only partially serve its purpose. There are times when my intuition helps me and instances when I ignore my intuition and results are usually varied.  It would behoove me to listen to my intuition as often as possible as it is a good internal map whatever the path I take in life.  I had two instances this week when I decided to listen to my intuition and the outcome was to my advantage.  I have two instances a few weeks back when I said, ‘this is my desired outcome’ and oddly, the outcome just recently played out just as I had hoped. I have one instance in which I ignored my intuition and about 6 hours later thought to myself, “I should have listened…”  I definitely had an AH HA moment.

My lessons are repeating themselves or maybe evolving.  Okay, repeating.  It is necessary to be patient even when it feels impossible to exercise patience.  Answers will come forward.  Information will surface.  Clarity will present itself.  The timeline may be short or long and it is likely outside reasonable control.  Sometimes it is better to sit back and observe instead of drawing conclusions.  Sometimes it is better to wait something out when waiting feels like the right thing to do, even if waiting is really tough to do.  Sometimes trying to figure out everything on your own is the wrong way and letting things come to fruition is the better way. Sometimes trusting your instincts is the only clear path to figuring out the answers you seek.

 

 

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September 16, 2013

Self-Doubt Chirping

Working past self doubt is a challenge.  I have this plan for a new blog.  I will be running two, actually.  You are reading my skirt and high heels blog (in need of a make over).  My new blog will be my running shoes and kick up my feet blog.  I am working on a plan to invest money into the appearance and the design of both of my creations versus my usual method of throw the spaghetti up on the wall.  I guess it could be called an investment in my future in spite of the little voice in my head saying, “the future of what?”  Thank you Self-Doubt for chiming in and trying to squish my idea, is all I have to say about that.  This is one of those things that came to me and I felt like running with it; yet Self-Doubt chirps away.

Someone recently observed I fear things and I probably have no idea what it is I am afraid of.  I found that to be a fair assessment as the unknown is a source of fear for me and something about the unknown rattles my confidence.  I have no idea what the unknown holds and that is my own obstacle.  Who cares what the unknown holds?  I am reminding myself to shape the unknown as I want it to be and to allow changes and shifts as things reveal themselves.  I have to remind myself to just take a little leap of faith every now and then, as there is really nothing to lose in pursuing an idea.   I need to focus on what I want to do now and how I want the “now” to unfold.  Self-Doubt needs a mute button.

Taking an idea and allowing it to come to fruition can be a revealing way to let others see your point of view or perspective and to hear your voice (literally or figuratively).  You may learn something new about yourself and others may learn something new about you.  In my case, Self-Doubt can be an annoyance and an idea stopper.   Self-Doubt feeds fear…or does fear feed Self-Doubt?  Chicken or the egg?  Needless to say, the combination can be the source of self imposed obstacles that can stop creativity or progress in its tracks, if allowed.  I suppose it is  natural to hear the chirping of Self-Doubt in any venture or process and it is a lesson in will, I think.  Mute Self-Doubt and carry on.

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August 24, 2013

Turn Your Habits Around

While trying unsuccessfully to use my brain while on vacation, I did find myself thinking about habits.  What habits do you have that really fail to serve a beneficial purpose?  At that moment, I actually had a block as relates to my bad habits and put the idea on a mental shelf.  Sometimes things fall off the mental shelf while I am commuting and that was the case while I was sitting in traffic this week.

One of my worst habits is worrying.  I worry about work matters that are outside my control and how to manage client perception. Worry really is an exercise in futility as there are just some things I can do little about except take it all in stride.  Such is life in Corporate America!  Why keep myself up at night or create unnecessary stress if situations and environmental circumstances are caused by someone or something else?  I am finding it is better to empathize with my clients or be honest with my clients when they discuss pain points.  I try to always tell the truth when something goes awry in a professional, palatable manner. Rather than subjecting myself to worry and stress, I find it easier to take off the business mask and just have a human conversation.  Mistakes happen, nothing is perfect and we do the best we can.  I have been working to shift my thoughts anytime the little worry voice in my head pops up.  Once I realize I am starting down the worry path, I do my best to stop myself and focus on something totally different and positive.  The mind is a really funny thing.

Another thing that came to mind: eating and sleeping habits.  Generally I lean towards healthy foods and I exercise regularly.  There are times when it is just easier to eat chips for dinner or a few cookies for breakfast and slack off at the gym because I am too tired to do anything.  ( I support eating dessert for breakfast because why must it only be served after dinner?)  However, I realized over the course of several months, my work related stress levels have been increasing, my sleeping patterns were inconsistent – staying up too late, getting up really early or sleeping really late. Exhaustion and stress were driving me to want more sweets while also taking energy away from my workouts.  After vacation I decided to give myself a break.  I realized I need to take a step back and be more regimented about how I eat and how I sleep as I had fallen off course sometime in the Spring.  Bed by 10:30pm is my goal so waking up is easier in the morning.  I follow a number of nutrition/healthy lifestyle blogs and found some new food and recipe ideas and noted a few key things:

  • Eat for nutrition, not for fun.  Cookies or breakfast are tasty! I feel much more energetic after a plate of protein pancakes or a bowl of oatmeal or Greek yogurt with fruit and granola.  I knew this and had forgotten somehow?

  • Drink more water.  It is my go to beverage but I have been so busy and preoccupied I really had only been drinking water at the gym. Dehydration = tired.  And hardly economical admittedly – I have been buying 50 oz bottles of water to drink over the course of a day.  I will buy a water bottle to take with me, bottled water has been a stop gap.

  • Figure out what works for you with different resources.  When I cook something, I read many recipes to find the combination of ingredients I want to use to create my own recipe.  I did the same this week.  I read different blogs and found the things that work for me to get back on track.  I was reminded of some things, learned new things about different and new foods  and learned new things about nutrition.   I always find new and different perspective when I read what regular people are doing.  Some of the blogs I read and follow on Twitter/Instagram are:

There are other habits I gave thought to, however, I decided to address those that impact my quality of life first.  I did have a big fat pork chop for dinner last night and shared strawberry shortcake for dessert, so by no means have I given up eating for enjoyment!  However, I went to bed at a reasonable time, woke up at 7:30am and ate a healthy breakfast (plain Chobani with nectarines, strawberries and granola), hit the gym for over an hour, and made a healthy lunch.   Moderation as they always say and avoid deprivation!

I suppose habits that lack benefit to life style, quality of life, health, etc only steer us away from what serves us well.   It happens and when you realize it, it takes little effort to shift things around and get back on the better path.

 

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August 5, 2013

Enjoying the Uncomfortable Zone

Overcoming fear is an option at every stage of life.  We are born with two fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises.  Though I lack any scientific or medical training, I would guess people develop fears based on experiences, self talk and perhaps outside influences over the course of a lifetime.  There may be times when fear seems irrational or illogical and times when it makes perfect sense.  There is always a choice to recognize a fear, understand it and work to overcome it; or let it follow you around in life.  I must say there are some fears that come out of the blue and sometimes they are hard to understand.

What started me thinking of fear was a TED Talk I listened to on NPR TED Radio Hour recently.  Roz Savage was the featured speaker, a management consultant turned ocean rower.  As the story was introduced by the announcer, I was compelled to listen because I could relate to the introduction and kept saying, “Whoa how did she do that?”  Of course, as I asked myself that question, the answers were revealed as the talk unfolded.  

As I listened, I wondered how many people can relate to how Roz Savage ended up as an ocean rower; how she ended up doing something outside the original “plan”.  How many of us follow a path because we feel we should or it is what we are supposed to do.  Rules created based on a story we make up about ourselves.  Ms. Savage took a management consulting career path because that was the thing to do.  It made her question what she was doing with her life and her purpose in life.  She wanted adventure and questioned whether she fit the “mold” of an adventurer.  She sat down and wrote two versions of her own obituary – the now and the what if versions – and realized the life she was heading for was not what she wanted.  She wanted a life she could be proud of and knew she needed to change her course.  She realized she needed to create her happiness rather than wait for it to come to her.  Ms. Savage ultimately broke out of her comfort zone and took a massive leap of faith and started rowing.  Her story about how to overcome fear is fascinating to me.  What DO you do when you are alone, in a boat, in the middle of the ocean?  You figure it out with what you have at hand.

We all end up standing in the middle of the proverbial ocean at some point in our lives and we have choices to overcome fear or to let it take over.  When you are questioning things, when do you take a leap of faith outside your comfort zone?  Taking a leap of faith can be intimidating so how do you work through your fear or discomfort to get what you want?  What tools do you use to move forward? Who do you reach out to if you need help?  Roz Savage was primarily alone, however, when her water purifier broke during a trip on the Pacific, she was able to “phone a friend” using her satellite phone.  She found fellow ocean travelers to meet up with to trade fresh water for food.  I suppose taking a leap of faith means we have to believe we have what we need and if we need something else, we will find it or it will be brought to us.  I suppose once you take the initial leap of faith, you learn how to solve problems in new ways rather than letting fear hold you back.  A leap of faith becomes a walk in the park with obstacles and challenges along the way.

What are you questioning today?  Are you wondering about your purpose?  Are you standing in the middle of the ocean?  Roz Savage was in a position like mine at some point and her story reminded me I can do something different and as can most of us.   I know I am trying to approach things differently. When I think I have done the right things, I can always reflect on things I can do better next time. I would say leaving your comfort zone is extremely uncomfortable; but once you have left it, you realize you had nothing to fear.

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July 31, 2013

It’s Poetic

Sometimes when I think about something, I notice things around me that relate to my thoughts.   I suppose it is as if when something is on my mind, the answers present themselves in unusual ways.  Tonight I was pondering what to do with my life as I often do and was thinking about the obstacles we all create for ourselves in one way or another.  I had a college professor who advised me to declare the major of interest to me when we were discussing my course of study.  I conveyed my fear of two classes others told me were impossible to pass.  My professor suggested if my fear of two classes were to stop me from declaring my major, then I would likely have regrets later on in life.  I passed the two classes with A’s and can say, even after all these years, I am happy I removed the obstacles I had created for myself in that situation.

One of my biggest learnings from that professor is my understanding of fear.  I have always felt fear stops us and is what makes us create obstacles for ourselves.  It can be paralyzing, distracting, confusing, and misleading.  While I was pondering this evening, I came across a TED Talk about overcoming fears (among other things) which I will write about later and a quote from E.E. Cummings (his full name Edward Estlin Cummings, I never knew). “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” E.E. Cummings.  For some reason this quote just bounced all around my brain like in a pinball machine (bing).  It made me think of people I know and myself and what it takes to change or why a person would find it difficult to change and why (bing).   I thought it can be pretty scary to leave things behind (bing), change things about yourself (bing), or do something unfamiliar (bing).  Leaving your comfort zone takes courage because it can be uncomfortable (bing bing bing).   It also reminded me of this post I recently wrote and as change occurs, it is good to have the right people around you.  It also reminded me of the blue dragon fly I saw today.  It landed near my foot while I was outside an office building talking to a colleague.  I found it to be an unusual location for a dragon fly and actually researched the symbolism of a dragon fly because it seemed odd to see such a critter where I did.  Dragon flies represent the symbolic meaning of transformation, change, and adaptability.  Things happen for a reason, you meet people for a reason, sometimes you read things for a reason….you catch my drift.

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April 22, 2013

Take the Leap

How does one find their purpose?  Does each person know their purpose or do we have to follow clues to find it?  Maybe some have one purpose and others have multiple?  The majority of my hours each work day are spent at my office or with clients; yet I know in my gut my purpose in life is something other than my day job.  When I was 25 years old I was certain I would work in my current industry for the rest of my life.  I had aspirations to be a seasoned executive and that idea now seems like history to me.   I am grateful for my current job and appreciate all I have learned over the years.  I have more experience and more exposure and truth be told, there is something else I would like to do.  The “What” is in its fledgling stage as I try to frame and pin it down.  The “What” started nipping at my heels about 2 years ago so I started to pay attention.

I have been talking to people I encounter about their career choices.  My question is usually, ‘Do you work in this area’ and it usually leads to a description of where the person works and what they do.  I am learning people with a passion have usually identified their purpose or have discovered what they really want to be doing.  For some this translates into a hobby and for others a side job.  I find I am running into more and more people who have changed it up completely and fall into the leap of faith category. Each time I hear ‘it was a leap of faith’, my radar goes up.  There is much to learn from the people who say this as they have made great changes or uprooted everything in spite of the unknown and risks.   Those I have spoken with say what they do feels like a hobby and they can spend endless hours working on their projects and towards goals. Most say it can be challenging when you take a leap of faith; yet somehow the pieces fall into place.  Just recently, I saw a friend who gave up her job in sales to go into a completely new line of work and she is very content.  She did say her new life is not always ‘peaches and cream’ and she has no regrets.  She moved to the west coast and is learning a specific trade, scrapes by and is very happy.  Another friend decided he was not cut out for corporate America soon after college, started his own business, and has been driven since.  He said if a project never comes to fruition, he rarely gets discouraged because there are always new opportunities to focus on.  He noted his income sometimes fluctuates and it makes him worry, but he always keeps going.  I find the leap of faith people think about the next step instead of letting frustration or fear take over when something does not work out as planned.  I find when someone is doing what “feels” right he or she is usually excited to talk about their work and their learnings and experiences.  Those learnings and experiences can often be carried forward to the next thing.

When I hear leap of faith in a person’s story, it makes me feel as though it is a story intended for me to hear.  It makes me wonder when I will put myself in a position to look over the edge and say, ‘Ok now is the time.’ Predictability has always been very important to me as relates to my full time job.  I suppose this is indicative of my responsible, pragmatic side.  My paycheck is a consistent as is my business and my client base. It feels more like a means to an end versus something I jump out of bed for every day.  Though consistency and predictability are good, perhaps I need to find a better balance of being a risk taker without fear.  I am unsure if fear holds me back or if it is matter of timing or something else. How do I plant my feet firmly on the path to my purpose?  I may be moving the right direction right now and need to give myself more credit.  I do know one thing. I want to be the person who says, “I was working in a cubicle and one day decided I had an opportunity I was unable to pass up.  I took a leap of faith and I never looked back.”

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