August 18, 2014

Name Your Journey

“Purpose is a journey.  It doesn’t come as a revelation from above but from living life awake and seeking new experiences”  Aaron Hurst

What is purpose? What is the purpose of each person this earth? Before I read Aaron Hurst’s book The Purpose Economy, my definition of purpose was very basic – something you are meant to do.  I have heard people say they want to find their purpose or others who say they have always known their purpose. I guess I figured either you are born knowing your purpose or eventually your purpose becomes obvious like a great epiphany.  I thought purpose was very specific, however, it may never be specific and is different for everyone.  Aaron Hurst describes purpose as a journey.  It is about finding direction, not a destination.  Purpose may not be one true calling but the approach we take to shaping a meaningful career and life.  He quoted Marcel Proust in his book to reinforce the concept of purpose as a journey:  We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.

If purpose is a journey then so is life.  Maybe purpose is the compass to help us figure out where to go in life.  The choices we make in our lives will either direct us to our purpose or drive us away from it.  Life is full of opportunities and choices. How we act on our choices will influence where we end up.  Perhaps we do not always make conscious choices and instead follow a feeling whether it be intuitive or fear based.  Fear is probably the biggest obstacle any human will encounter and fear is the link to resistance.  Which to choose: “This is the right thing for me”
or “I know I should be doing this but (insert excuses here).”  It is up the individual to identify the journey, pay attention to signs and to trust instinct as a guide.  When fear plays into a decision, anyone will likely intentionally or inadvertently resist an opportunity.  There is always choice in any situation. Run in the opposite direction.  Play out the worse case scenario and move forward anyway.  Brush fear aside and head in the direction you know is right for you.  When I think of people who have started careers in traditional corporate environments and end up on a detour with a start up business they never believed possible, I believe choice, purpose, and destiny are involved.  Any journey is a process – step by step, piece by piece, like building a puzzle. In some situations, resistance may be futile and in some situations it may stymie success.  Whatever the case, when the inclination to let fear and resistance rule is pushed aside, grabbing a parachute for the leap of faith will result in growth, change, perspective and more insight into purpose.  A journey is about reaching the milestones to begin the next leg and less about a specific end result.

The journey through life towards purpose is an exercise in patience.  Timeline is unknown.  Obstacles unknown.  Opportunities may or may not be predictable.  As we figure out what we want in life, we weed out those things that fail to aid in growth and new perspective.  We were put on this earth for a reason. For some, knowing purpose from day one means the journey may have fewer milestones.  For others, it may mean overcoming hurdles and doing things that may require time before the picture becomes clear.  How many people say (or have said), “I am just going to do this and see where it leads me.”  If you feel passionate about something or feel something is truly important – even without a cogent explanation – grab your parachute.  You could fail or you could find yourself exactly where you belong or you could find yourself somewhere you never expected.

Thank you for reading this blog!

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October 26, 2013

That Clock Is Chasing Me!

Do you ever find your approach to organizing your week ends up being the approach you take for your weekend?  During the week, everything I do is according to what time I have to be somewhere, what time I have a conference call or a meeting, and by what time I hope to get to bed at night.  I need less of that on the weekend and get into such a routine of living by a schedule getting away from that on the weekend can be challenging.

I had to travel to Atlanta for work this week.  As I was on my way to the airport to fly home, I was sitting in traffic on 285W thinking living on a timetable can be exhausting.  I spent my day in meetings with an invisible clock looming over my head.  90 minute meeting with one group, 30 minutes for this person, can I afford to eat lunch, 5 minutes with this person and if I leave the office later than 2:30pm I might miss my flight.  I spend a lot of time mentally calculating the minutes as I rotate through meetings and whatnot so I can fit everything in.  As I was sitting in traffic, the clock was still looming.  It kept reminding me traffic was in the way of my perfectly timed return to the airport, rental car return, and the circus that is security at the airport. I was in such a rush I bought a late lunch in the terminal and found myself eating a chicken sandwich that I would probably normally throw out ( waste not want not, what?).  In retrospect, I think cafeteria food would have been better.  I was so hungry and felt I had no time to give thought to anything except getting to the gate.  When the plane finally boarded, I just inserted myself in the boarding line.  Normally my attitude is, everyone will get on the plane so who cares when I get on the plane.  Yesterday, I wanted to sit down so badly and disconnect my brain, I was one of those people who was ready to bum rush the plane.  Living the rat race life for sure.

I woke up this morning and revolted against myself.  My whole week involved a schedule that had nothing to do with me and only what I must do to do my job.  It was wholly exhausting and time consuming.  Usually I push myself out of bed on a Saturday morning to get things done.  Today I stayed in bed till 10:00am because I decided who cares what I need to get done, bed is better.  I resolved to do nothing today requiring an agenda and decided to ignore the clock and my nagging pragmatic self.  What difference does it make if I do not get “stuff” done?  I did, however, decide to do things I have wanted to do all week versus needed to do.  A day of, “oh this is what I WANT to do right now.  Now I WANT to do this.”  Instead of “I need to get this, that, and the other thing done and how do I find the time.”  What I want to do takes very little effort; often anything I need to do is a chore so I opted for “want to do” today.  I find the days when I can ignore the clock that normally chases me to be much more relaxing and perhaps even more productive.  My brain certainly seems to be bouncing around less than it was and the numbing feeling that is created by keeping on top of everything has subsided.  (Maybe numb brain is only unique to me when the brain is on overload; however, I really feel like my brain is frozen sometimes).

I often say my brain is just going to quit on me or move out and find a new home.  I run it ragged.  I am sure many people have the same problem.  My brain must feel like it runs an ultra-marathon every day.  Recently one of my friends said she wishes her brain worked like mine because it is always “working” on something.  Funny thing is, I laughed at that statement and told her my brain is exhausting.  I am not sure if it is enviable!  I suppose it is just another reminder that I have to hit the stop button sometimes and just be less regimented. Do what I want and do what I enjoy; instead of requiring myself to meet timelines or to do things in a specific way every day of the week.  I always try to remind myself: if the words should or have to are part of my day, I am probably doing something as a result of some obligation or requirement either placed upon me by my own doing or something else’s.  I prefer ‘I want to’ because it usually proves to be energizing versus tiring.  And even when ‘I want to’ is tiring, it is usually satisfying and positive.

That said, I want to stop writing now because I want to go to the gym.  I have one place I am going later today that requires adherence to a schedule – the movies.  I can live with that!  Thank you for reading this blog!

 

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August 5, 2013

Enjoying the Uncomfortable Zone

Overcoming fear is an option at every stage of life.  We are born with two fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises.  Though I lack any scientific or medical training, I would guess people develop fears based on experiences, self talk and perhaps outside influences over the course of a lifetime.  There may be times when fear seems irrational or illogical and times when it makes perfect sense.  There is always a choice to recognize a fear, understand it and work to overcome it; or let it follow you around in life.  I must say there are some fears that come out of the blue and sometimes they are hard to understand.

What started me thinking of fear was a TED Talk I listened to on NPR TED Radio Hour recently.  Roz Savage was the featured speaker, a management consultant turned ocean rower.  As the story was introduced by the announcer, I was compelled to listen because I could relate to the introduction and kept saying, “Whoa how did she do that?”  Of course, as I asked myself that question, the answers were revealed as the talk unfolded.  

As I listened, I wondered how many people can relate to how Roz Savage ended up as an ocean rower; how she ended up doing something outside the original “plan”.  How many of us follow a path because we feel we should or it is what we are supposed to do.  Rules created based on a story we make up about ourselves.  Ms. Savage took a management consulting career path because that was the thing to do.  It made her question what she was doing with her life and her purpose in life.  She wanted adventure and questioned whether she fit the “mold” of an adventurer.  She sat down and wrote two versions of her own obituary – the now and the what if versions – and realized the life she was heading for was not what she wanted.  She wanted a life she could be proud of and knew she needed to change her course.  She realized she needed to create her happiness rather than wait for it to come to her.  Ms. Savage ultimately broke out of her comfort zone and took a massive leap of faith and started rowing.  Her story about how to overcome fear is fascinating to me.  What DO you do when you are alone, in a boat, in the middle of the ocean?  You figure it out with what you have at hand.

We all end up standing in the middle of the proverbial ocean at some point in our lives and we have choices to overcome fear or to let it take over.  When you are questioning things, when do you take a leap of faith outside your comfort zone?  Taking a leap of faith can be intimidating so how do you work through your fear or discomfort to get what you want?  What tools do you use to move forward? Who do you reach out to if you need help?  Roz Savage was primarily alone, however, when her water purifier broke during a trip on the Pacific, she was able to “phone a friend” using her satellite phone.  She found fellow ocean travelers to meet up with to trade fresh water for food.  I suppose taking a leap of faith means we have to believe we have what we need and if we need something else, we will find it or it will be brought to us.  I suppose once you take the initial leap of faith, you learn how to solve problems in new ways rather than letting fear hold you back.  A leap of faith becomes a walk in the park with obstacles and challenges along the way.

What are you questioning today?  Are you wondering about your purpose?  Are you standing in the middle of the ocean?  Roz Savage was in a position like mine at some point and her story reminded me I can do something different and as can most of us.   I know I am trying to approach things differently. When I think I have done the right things, I can always reflect on things I can do better next time. I would say leaving your comfort zone is extremely uncomfortable; but once you have left it, you realize you had nothing to fear.

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July 31, 2013

It’s Poetic

Sometimes when I think about something, I notice things around me that relate to my thoughts.   I suppose it is as if when something is on my mind, the answers present themselves in unusual ways.  Tonight I was pondering what to do with my life as I often do and was thinking about the obstacles we all create for ourselves in one way or another.  I had a college professor who advised me to declare the major of interest to me when we were discussing my course of study.  I conveyed my fear of two classes others told me were impossible to pass.  My professor suggested if my fear of two classes were to stop me from declaring my major, then I would likely have regrets later on in life.  I passed the two classes with A’s and can say, even after all these years, I am happy I removed the obstacles I had created for myself in that situation.

One of my biggest learnings from that professor is my understanding of fear.  I have always felt fear stops us and is what makes us create obstacles for ourselves.  It can be paralyzing, distracting, confusing, and misleading.  While I was pondering this evening, I came across a TED Talk about overcoming fears (among other things) which I will write about later and a quote from E.E. Cummings (his full name Edward Estlin Cummings, I never knew). “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” E.E. Cummings.  For some reason this quote just bounced all around my brain like in a pinball machine (bing).  It made me think of people I know and myself and what it takes to change or why a person would find it difficult to change and why (bing).   I thought it can be pretty scary to leave things behind (bing), change things about yourself (bing), or do something unfamiliar (bing).  Leaving your comfort zone takes courage because it can be uncomfortable (bing bing bing).   It also reminded me of this post I recently wrote and as change occurs, it is good to have the right people around you.  It also reminded me of the blue dragon fly I saw today.  It landed near my foot while I was outside an office building talking to a colleague.  I found it to be an unusual location for a dragon fly and actually researched the symbolism of a dragon fly because it seemed odd to see such a critter where I did.  Dragon flies represent the symbolic meaning of transformation, change, and adaptability.  Things happen for a reason, you meet people for a reason, sometimes you read things for a reason….you catch my drift.

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April 22, 2013

Take the Leap

How does one find their purpose?  Does each person know their purpose or do we have to follow clues to find it?  Maybe some have one purpose and others have multiple?  The majority of my hours each work day are spent at my office or with clients; yet I know in my gut my purpose in life is something other than my day job.  When I was 25 years old I was certain I would work in my current industry for the rest of my life.  I had aspirations to be a seasoned executive and that idea now seems like history to me.   I am grateful for my current job and appreciate all I have learned over the years.  I have more experience and more exposure and truth be told, there is something else I would like to do.  The “What” is in its fledgling stage as I try to frame and pin it down.  The “What” started nipping at my heels about 2 years ago so I started to pay attention.

I have been talking to people I encounter about their career choices.  My question is usually, ‘Do you work in this area’ and it usually leads to a description of where the person works and what they do.  I am learning people with a passion have usually identified their purpose or have discovered what they really want to be doing.  For some this translates into a hobby and for others a side job.  I find I am running into more and more people who have changed it up completely and fall into the leap of faith category. Each time I hear ‘it was a leap of faith’, my radar goes up.  There is much to learn from the people who say this as they have made great changes or uprooted everything in spite of the unknown and risks.   Those I have spoken with say what they do feels like a hobby and they can spend endless hours working on their projects and towards goals. Most say it can be challenging when you take a leap of faith; yet somehow the pieces fall into place.  Just recently, I saw a friend who gave up her job in sales to go into a completely new line of work and she is very content.  She did say her new life is not always ‘peaches and cream’ and she has no regrets.  She moved to the west coast and is learning a specific trade, scrapes by and is very happy.  Another friend decided he was not cut out for corporate America soon after college, started his own business, and has been driven since.  He said if a project never comes to fruition, he rarely gets discouraged because there are always new opportunities to focus on.  He noted his income sometimes fluctuates and it makes him worry, but he always keeps going.  I find the leap of faith people think about the next step instead of letting frustration or fear take over when something does not work out as planned.  I find when someone is doing what “feels” right he or she is usually excited to talk about their work and their learnings and experiences.  Those learnings and experiences can often be carried forward to the next thing.

When I hear leap of faith in a person’s story, it makes me feel as though it is a story intended for me to hear.  It makes me wonder when I will put myself in a position to look over the edge and say, ‘Ok now is the time.’ Predictability has always been very important to me as relates to my full time job.  I suppose this is indicative of my responsible, pragmatic side.  My paycheck is a consistent as is my business and my client base. It feels more like a means to an end versus something I jump out of bed for every day.  Though consistency and predictability are good, perhaps I need to find a better balance of being a risk taker without fear.  I am unsure if fear holds me back or if it is matter of timing or something else. How do I plant my feet firmly on the path to my purpose?  I may be moving the right direction right now and need to give myself more credit.  I do know one thing. I want to be the person who says, “I was working in a cubicle and one day decided I had an opportunity I was unable to pass up.  I took a leap of faith and I never looked back.”

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January 5, 2013

Time to Wake Up!

What gets you out of bed in the morning?  A simple thing running across my mind of late.

There are two things that get me out of bed: my alarm clock or my dog Andy and his excitement for kibble.  It is a wake up and go to work routine Monday through Friday.  As time goes on, my attitude of going with the flow in life has actually guided me to start thinking about my purpose and what truly inspires me.  I would love to say my day job is truly inspiring, however, its true purpose is more in line with ensuring I can pay my bills and support my Starbucks habit.

There are definitely people who wake up every day with enthusiasm and see every day as different and anything but routine. It is a goal of mine to exit the ranks of daily alarm clock risers and join the group of purpose driven people who are earning their income by doing what comes naturally.  I often wonder how many people know their purpose and passion yet hold back from doing anything about it due to fear or lack of belief in what could be? It would be fabulous to finish up the work day and look forward to what the next day will bring.  I know people who enjoy what they do for a living every day in spite of challenges or obstacles they face.  When I ask what that is like, often the response is, “It feels more like a hobby than a job and I get paid for it.” Sounds inspiring to me!  

That which is purposeful or motivates you seems like the logical impetus to get out of bed in the morning rather an alarm clock. Please note, I do condone sleeping in and lazy days!.  It is highly probable many of us have yet to identify our purpose in life and thus getting out of bed Monday through Friday is more mundane than motivating.  I am now on a mission myself.

Are you passionate about your work?  What motivates you each day?

 

Andy

 

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